Wild Angels
by McAddicted
Summary: Meredith Grey was a country music icon that seemed to have it all, even though her past held secrets she didn't want to deal wtih; Derek Shephered was just trying to get his life back on track after messing things up in the past. What will happen when their paths cross again? Loosely based on the show 'Nashville' but with my own spin on things.
1. Times are Changing

**Once again, it's been awhile since I've posted - real life can really get in the way of writing sometimes. I did mean to get this off the ground sooner! I do want to thank all of you that have continued to favorite me and my existing stories during my hiatus from here. I hope you enjoy this one as well. **

** I had the idea for this fic for awhile now, and it's influenced by the show "Nashville", which I'm sure some of you out there enjoy as well. There will be some parts that are similar to the show, but a lot that isn't. As always, it's MerDer, and it's romance and drama and all that good stuff. Derek has some darkness to his past in this fic, but as we've seen on GA, he does tend to have his demons to battle. So I do hope that you all will accept that part of him, and not yell at me because he's not perfect. I love the character of Derek, he's flawed and human and inherently sexy.  
**

**As always, the characters belong to Shonda &amp; Co., I'm just borrowing them here for our reading pleasure. The rating is Mature, so please read responsibly.  
**

* * *

**Premise**

Meredith Grey seemed to have it all.

She had a successful career as a country singer, along with a husband who ran his own business and was poised to run for mayor of Nashville. She had a sweet 10-year old daughter that wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps. She lived in a gorgeous home that had been featured in many architectural magazines, where they hosted lavish parties for the elite of the country music scene.

What more could a woman want from life?

Ah, but things are not always as they appear. Her husband may not be as devoted as everyone thinks, though their marriage has been solid enough. There is a man from her past that still haunts her thoughts, despite her moving on from that relationship. The part of her life that had included Derek Shepherd was now just a bittersweet reminder that nothing lasts the way you think it will when you're young and in love.

* * *

Derek Shepherd was just trying to get his life back on track.

He was a singer/song-writer who had been involved with Meredith Grey when they were both young and idealistic. They had been in love, singing together in small clubs and writing songs that came from the heart. They thought it would last forever. He only had himself to blame for what happened between them, and he left Nashville to deal with the pain of their breakup.

That had been 10 years ago.

Now he was back, unsure of what the future would bring and if he would cross paths with Meredith again. Maybe it would happen, but for now he was just taking it one day at a time.

* * *

**Wild Angels**

_Between the perfect world and the bottom line  
Keeping love alive in these troubled times  
Well, It's a miracle in itself  
And we know too well what that's about  
Still we made it through, only God knows how  
We must've had a little help_

_Wild Angels, Wild Angels_  
_Watching over you and me, yeah_  
_Wild Angels, Wild Angels_  
_Baby what else could it be?_

_*Title &amp; lyrics from Wild Angels by Martina McBride*_

* * *

**Prologue**

_Nashville, 2004  
_

_The crowd at the Bluebird Café gave an enthusiastic round of applause as Meredith finished the last song in the set. Twirling around, so her paisley skirt skimmed around legs, and her long ash blond hair tumbled around her face, she felt the flush of happiness at their cheers. Derek, who had been playing lead guitar, and singing with her on a couple of the songs, stood up to take her outstretched hand and exchanged a grin with her. He was dressed just as casually as she was, in faded jeans and soft plaid shirt, his black hair disheveled. They made a good looking couple, as they acknowledged the applause. The evening's performance had gone even better than her wildest expectations, and she couldn't wait to talk to him about it. _

_As soon as they were able to get away from the crush, he pulled her into the hallway close to the kitchen. He slid his arms around her waist and kissed her quickly. "You did it, Meredith…you had them in the palm of your hand…" he whispered, once he released her lips. "You're beautiful and you sound amazing…"_

_"We did it together, Derek…I wouldn't be here without you," she replied, still a little giddy with happiness. "The songs that we wrote together got us here!"_

_Derek shrugged. "But you're the one singing, I'm just the guy with the guitar."_

_"My partner, my song-writing collaborator, the love of my life,__" she reminded him. "We're a team, remember?"_

_"Your father doesn't think so. If he had his way, I wouldn't be near you in any capacity."  
_

_"My father doesn't matter," Meredith said firmly. "I love you, Derek, and we're going to make it big and live all the dreams we've had. I know it!"_

_"Sure, honey, whatever you say," he agreed, kissing her again. For a few more moments, they savored the intimacy until someone coughed discreetly to interrupt them. Meredith turned slowly, Derek's hands still at her hips, to see an older man standing there, a slight smile on his lips. _

_"I can see you're busy, Miss Grey, but I hope you can take a moment to listen to my offer," he said, handing over a business card._

_"Oh, of course…Mr. Granger," she said, quickly checking his card. "Storm Records, really?"_

_"You have an amazing voice, and I believe you have that elusive star quality to go along with it. Come to my office tomorrow and we'll discuss your future. My firm handles the best and brightest young talent in Nashville, and I want you in our group."_

_"Oh my god…you do?"_

_"Absolutely, and my offer includes this young man with you. I think his guitar playing is stellar."_

_Meredith looked up to Derek quickly, and he gave her a little squeeze as she nearly danced in excitement. "We'll be there, sir," he said. _

_"Excellent. How about 2 o'clock tomorrow?" Granger nodded decisively, as if there was no other answer but yes, and then he disappeared into the crowd. _

_"Did that just happen?" Meredith demanded, whirling around to look at Derek in shock. "Seriously?"_

_"I think so, Mer," he said, brushing her hair back from her forehead. "It's the first step on the road to fame and fortune."_

_She slipped her arms around his waist, and rested her cheek against his chest. The slow, steady beat of his heart calmed her. "I can't wait…"_

* * *

**Chapter One  
Times are Changing**

_Present Day_

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Meredith Grey flicked a glance in the mirror at her long time manager and friend, Cristina Yang, sitting close to her. The compact mirror's reflection showed her a concerned woman, eyebrows raised, expressive eyes regarding her over the rim of a coffee cup as she waited for the answer to her question.

"I'm quite sure. Alex has requested our presence today, so I'm sure it's got to do with the new album. Something likely indecent, but I'll hear him out, at least." Meredith applied a coat of lipstick, surveying the color with a critical eye.

"Hah, that evil spawn should never have been appointed president of Storm Records. He's an ass," Cristina snorted.

"Very true, but he's an entitled ass and I need to at least pretend to listen to what he says."

"You're too nice sometimes, Mer."

"Hmm….story of my life."

"Let's get this over with then." Cristina set her cup down, as the secretary beckoned from the office doorway. "You look good, anyway. Not that you could look bad."

"Thanks." Meredith smoothed her skirt over her hips as she stood. It was short enough to be fashionable, but not too extreme that she would need to be worried about flashing anyone when she sat down. Paired with a soft leather jacket and white silk tank top, it was a style she was comfortable with. She may have spent several years as a country star, but she never succumbed to some of the fashion excesses of her peers. Her style was simple and elegant, and she intended to keep it that way.

They followed the secretary into the spacious office occupied by Alex Karev, newly minted president of Storm Records. He was seated behind his desk, a large expanse of Lucite and chrome, with his feet up on the edge. He was the complete opposite to his predecessor, the man who'd recruited Meredith, and she winced to see the office without Ed Granger. "Ah, welcome ladies…" Alex greeted them, waving them towards the sofa. "It's good to see you both. Can I offer you a drink?"

"Cut the crap, Karev," Cristina said, stopping in front of his desk, her hands on hips. "What's this meeting about?"

"Such hostility, Ms Yang," Alex smirked, swinging his feet to the floor, and casually adjusting his shift cuffs. "I have your client's best interests at heart, you know. She's one of Storm's most celebrated artists, after all." He indicated the large framed posters on the wall, depicting many of Meredith's album covers and concert promotions.

"Sure you do, frat boy. You've only been here a few months."

"That may be, but I've followed Ms Grey's career, and since taking this position, I only want to make sure she's given the respect she's due as a long time artist here."

"God, you make it sound like I'm an old lady," Meredith sighed, settling on the sofa. She crossed her legs, and looked over at him. "Cristina's right, cut to the chase…"

"Fine. You need to go out on tour to promote the upcoming CD release, and you need to go with some new blood to bring in sales," Alex said, dropping onto the sofa beside her. "I want you to tour with Izzie Stevens."

"What? You mean, she's the opening act?" Meredith asked, trying to recall who Izzie might be. There were so many new singers coming up the ranks these days, it was difficult to keep them straight.

Alex shook his head at her. "No, as an equal. You tour together, equal billing."

Meredith exchanged a look of shock with Cristina, who raised her eyebrows. "Are you serious?" she asked, looking back at Alex.

"Really, are you fucking serious?" Cristina demanded as well. "My client is not prepared to share any billing with an auto-tuned party girl."

"Izzie isn't auto-tuned, her voice is real," Alex countered. "She has a big following on iTunes, and I want her to have equal billing. Simple as that."

"My last CD sold extremely well, and the tour last time sold out everywhere we went in record time," Meredith commented. "I don't think I need any new blood."

"That was over a year ago. Things change, and I'm in charge now. This is how I want it done."

"And if we don't agree?" Cristina asked.

"Then your client's CD might just not be released on time." Alex crossed his arms over his chest, and smirked. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing here."

The smug look on his face made Meredith want to smack him, but that wouldn't help things. "Really? How long have you worked in this business?"

"Long enough. In my opinion, Izzie has a great voice and stage presence, she's going to go places."

"Are you interested in promoting her, or Meredith?" Cristina asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Both of course, Ms. Yang," he replied smoothly, crossing one ankle over his knee. "I'd be an idiot not to."

"You really don't want me to answer that, do you?"

"I think maybe I heard one of her songs, something about boys and buses?" Meredith murmured, ignoring the glare that Alex gave Cristina. "Or was it something about black mascara teardrops…? Anyway, Cristina's right, she's auto tuned to an inch of her life, and now I remember reading about her in the tabloids. Wasn't she photographed falling down drunk? That's not good press. I just don't think she's suitable, not to mention, she hasn't put in her time here for equal billing, Alex. I've been here a lot longer than she has, after all. If you want me to go on tour….I go as top billing."

"Let's not forget how many Grammy and CMT awards Meredith's won, along with the gold and platinum records," Cristina said. "Her fans are loyal; they love Meredith and what she represents. Izzie is not what they want to see!"

"Maybe you should meet her before you start making demands," he said pointedly, glancing at his watch.

"That won't change my mind," Meredith admitted. "So much of the new stuff out there makes me roll my eyes. There's no heart, no soul, just flash and no substance."

"Give her a chance, she's waiting to meet you." Alex stood up and walked over to the door, opening it. "Izzie, come in here…"

Behind him, Meredith and Cristina exchanged another look of surprise as the young woman strolled through the doorway. She was taller than Meredith, with voluminous blonde hair that was not a shade found in nature, and she exuded an air of hungry sensuality. Her white suit clung to every curve, and displayed an alarming amount of cleavage and legs. Meredith rolled her eyes mentally; either boobs or legs, girl, not both. Alex took her arm and escorted her forward. "Izzie, this is Meredith Grey, our golden girl…"

"Oh, Miss Grey! So great to meet you…my mama listened to your songs all the time! You were her favorite singer," Izzie gushed, moving quickly towards Meredith. "You're an icon!"

"Well, bless your heart…" Meredith murmured, shaking hands. As if she didn't feel old enough already. "I'm sure your Mama has good taste."

Izzie pouted. "Sadly, Mama isn't with me now."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

Shrugging, Izzie looked towards Alex. "I thought you said we would have champagne…"

"We haven't quite finalized the deal yet…"

Meredith realized that this was her opportunity, and she stood up. "And there won't be a deal, Alex."

"What?"

"You want my decision?" Meredith knew she couldn't go along with this insanity, and Cristina would back her up, no matter what. Before Alex could say anything else, she held her hand up to stop him. "You can kiss my decision as it's walking out the door." Meredith strode away, her head high, with Cristina at her side. Once they were out in the corridor, she started to laugh. "Oh my god…did I just do that?"

"You did and it's going to be interesting to see what he does to get you back."

"We'll let him sweat for awhile, right?"

"Oh, absolutely…"

Cristina punched the button for the elevator to go down, tapping her toe impatiently as they waited. "Well, go on home and we'll wait for Karev to call," she said, as Meredith checked her phone for any missed text messages.

"Actually, I'm meeting Hunter for lunch, so I need to run. Then Mia has ballet after school and I promised to take her; busy day as usual." The elevator whooshed silently to the ground level, and they hurried towards the glass doors at the front of the building.

"Give Mia a kiss for me. Is she still trying to play guitar too?" Cristina asked, putting her sunglasses in place as they exited the building.

"She sure is, wants to be just like Mommy…" Meredith smiled, fishing her keys out of her purse, just catching a glimpse of a man's back as he disappeared into the crowd on the sidewalk. For a split second, her heart jumped; the way he walked, the slightly messy black hair, was it the man who had been out of her life for the past ten years? Then she shook her head, there were plenty of guys in Nashville that fit that description after all; it must be the fact of being at Storm Records again that was stirring up old memories. Derek Shepherd was far away from here, from what she knew. It was better that way, of course, their relationship had imploded a long time ago.

* * *

_After what seemed like a whirlwind of events, Meredith found herself one of the rising stars of Storm Records. It was a heady ride, being signed to the biggest record label in Nashville, with a contract that promised to make her a household name. Mr. Granger scheduled her to tour with several established acts, as the opening singer, along with Derek as lead guitarist in her backup band. Their stage presence together was magic, their voices well matched, and fans eagerly clamored for more._

_Late one night on tour, Meredith snuggled into the bed with Derek spooned behind her. She felt exhausted, but content, as he kissed the back of her neck. The hotel room was one more generic room in a parade of rooms, and she almost lost track of what city they were in. "You did great tonight," he whispered, sliding his hand along her hip and towards her thigh. "Are you happy, now that we're doing this?"_

_"Why wouldn't I be?" she replied sleepily. "Aren't you happy?"_

_"Sure." _

_She turned around to look at him in the dim light. "You sound less than convinced, Derek. What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing…" He kissed her, distracting her from what she was asking. But she could taste the sharp burn of whiskey on his lips. As usual, he'd spent time with the other band members in the bar after the show. She'd stopped by for a glass of wine, just to unwind a little, but came up to the room to have a shower and wash away the makeup and sweat from performing. By the time she was in bed, nearly asleep, he had slipped into the room quietly and joined her._

_The kiss deepened, and he pulled her closer, letting her feel the hard length of him against her. Whatever she may have been thinking of asking him fled her consciousness at that point. His need was evident, and her body responded as always, as she wrapped her arms around him. She welcomed the urgency between them, opening herself to him while he pushed her back against the pillows. His fingers delved into her, teasing her into sweet pleasure, making her cry out for more. Then he was inside her completely, hard and hot. She met his eyes, now dark with passion, and she knew it was always going to be like this with him; passionate and consuming. They might be young, but their love was strong._

_"I love you, Derek…" she whispered, just as the climax started to take over. "This is just where I want to be…always…"_

_"Always…love you…" he groaned, losing himself in her as well. Yet he felt a little like part of himself was lost every night, in every city, as her star was ascending. He loved her, he always would, that wouldn't change; what he couldn't know was how everything else might..._

* * *

**And there you have it...let me know what you think, whether or not it's worth continuing! I appreciate all your thoughts and comments.**


	2. Memories

**I'm grateful to all of you that reviewed and favorited this fic so far. I realize that the popularity of GA is sliding away with each passing season, and to be honest I don't watch it either anymore. My love of MerDer is based on the early seasons, when it was enjoyable to watch. I just continue to come up with these AU versions of them that I like to share you, and if I can entertain you a little then I'm happy.**

**If you don't watch 'Nashville' that won't make any difference as far as reading this, as I said, it's inspired by that show but I will always have my own version of things! There be lots of flashbacks, to give you a look at what happened at the start of their relationship and what happened to bring them to the present day. **

* * *

**Chapter Two  
Memories  
**

_Meredith waited as Derek waved his good-byes at the rest of the crew still finishing drinks at the bar, and he made his way towards her a little unsteadily. "Hey, honey, sorry I took so long..." he greeted her, kissing her cheek and wrapping an arm around her shoulders to keep his balance. "You didn't have to come get me."_

_"We have to be on the bus early in the morning, don't you remember?" she asked, leading him towards the bank of elevators in the hotel lobby. It was later than usual, and not many other people were around. She pushed the call button, and he let go of her to lean one shoulder against the wall as they waited. _

_"I remember, but we were just having a little contest," he said, grinning at her crookedly. His hair was mussed, his white button down shirt was untucked over his jeans, but he didn't seem to notice.  
_

_"What kind of contest this time?" she asked tiredly, yawning a little.  
_

_"Balancing a shot glass on your head...something like that..." Derek frowned, his memory a little fuzzed around the edges by that point. "I think I won."_

_The elevator doors slid open and she took his arm to pull him inside. "Derek, don't you think maybe you need to take it easy with the drinking?"_

_"Aw, c'mon, we're just having fun. You should've been there!" He leaned in suddenly, pulling her into his arms and trying to kiss her as the doors started to close. An arm snaked through to stop the closing, and a younger woman squeezed inside with them before he could get too carried away.  
_

_"Oh, sorry...!" she said breathlessly, "didn't mean to interrupt, but I wanted to catch you! You're Meredith Grey, right?" Looking at Meredith with an expectant expression now, she held out a pen and paper. "I saw you at the concert tonight, you were so awesome! Can I have your autograph, please?"_

_"What? Oh wow, sure..." Meredith quickly took the pen in her hand. _

_"Just sign it to Tessa, okay? This is so exciting! I really love your songs, are you gonna have a CD or something soon? I would totally buy it!" _

_"Well, I sure hope to soon, Tessa," Meredith replied, giving the girl her paper back. "And thanks for telling me how much you enjoyed the concert..." _

_Derek closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of the elevator as the two women continued to talk animatedly, the whiskey in his system hitting him a little harder suddenly. By the time they reached their floor, he was half-asleep, and Meredith had to shake his arm to get him to go with her. The other girl had gotten off before them, and he was thankful for the silence. "Mere..." he murmured, "I'm sorry...you're right...too much booze..."  
_

_"Oh yeah, too much," she agreed, guiding him to the bed in their room. "Get some sleep, okay?"_

_"Good...sleep..." And he was out cold before she even dragged a blanket over him._

* * *

Derek paused at the door to the Bluebird Café, feeling strangely uncertain. He shook his head and pushed the door open. He'd spent more than enough time here in the past, and it looked exactly the same now as it did then. A rush of memories assaulted him, as he remembered the joy of singing with Meredith on the small stage, the happiness that infused their performances. Of course, there were a lot of times that weren't so good, thanks to the drinking he'd done back then as well; it was bittersweet to think of what he had before and thrown away. It all seemed so long ago, and yet the familiar sight of the place felt like it was coming home.

As soon as he took a seat at one of the tables, a waitress hurried over, and gave him a welcoming smile. "Hey, y'all want a menu?" She was young, blond and irrepressibly cheery, and he couldn't help but smile back at her. After being in LA for so long, he'd gotten accustomed to the usual anonymous treatment from restaurant servers.

"Just coffee would be great," he replied.

"You got it!" She winked at him before sauntering away.

"Derek Shepherd, as I live and breathe! What the hell are you doing here?"

Derek turned and looked towards the bar, recognizing the voice from his past. "Mark Sloan, I should've known you would be here! I just got back in town this week; just settling in."

"This calls for a drink!" The other man held up the whiskey bottle in invitation.

Shaking his head, Derek got to his feet and walked over to the bar where he'd spent more than one night with a glass in his hand. "I'm not drinking now," he said firmly.

Mark raised his eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"After all the stupid things we did together, Mark, you shouldn't be surprised." Derek took a seat on a barstool with a deprecating smile on his lips. He and Mark had been friends since high school, and drinking buddies for many of those years. They'd kept in touch sporadically since he left Nashville, just not enough to know all the details obviously.

"Well, all right. I see Scarlet is bringing your coffee, then. But tell me you're still writing songs, and playing guitar?"

"That will never change. I've been doing a lot of back up singing and playing, just basic studio stuff to pay the bills. The writing I do for myself."

"Good to hear you didn't give that up, after everything else." Mark paused a moment. "You _do _know that Meredith is married to Hunter Conrad, right?"

"I know. I left town the day that happened, remember?"

"Right…I remember, vaguely, but then a lot of that time period is sort of vague. We managed to drink our way through a lot of whiskey back then. Maybe it's a good thing you left when you did."

Derek nodded, stirring his coffee slowly. "I had to get my head together, but it took awhile. And believe me, I knew coming back was going to mean seeing her again eventually. I haven't exactly been living under a rock, you know."

"Are you a sucker for punishment?"

"Maybe I am, but I missed being here. Nashville's always been home, it didn't seem right to be out in LA where the seasons never change, and everyone's got their own agenda. This is real."

"Ah, it can be crazy, you know. Things change, seems just as commercial as LA sometimes," Mark grumbled.

"Looks the same around here."

"Sure, and I intend to keep it that way. You know I never had any musical talent, but I know how much the place means to all of you performers. So when the chance came up to manage it, I knew I had to do it." Mark raised a glass of soda in a toast. "Hey, it's really good to see you back! C'mon back here later, and maybe I can convince you to come up on stage. Open mic night is still a big deal around here."

"Not going to make any promises, but I'll see. I don't have any other plans, at any rate."

"And maybe we can find you a girlfriend, there's always a lot of single girls here."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Don't even go there. I don't want the complication of dating anyone right now. I have my dog to keep me company, and he's always happy to see me."

"Oh you say that now," Mark grinned over his glass. "Just wait…"

"Just because you're happily married doesn't mean that we're all cut out for that," Derek countered. "You _are_ still married, right?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm lucky that Addison puts up with me, I admit that. She loves me despite all my faults, and our kids are good at keeping us together."

"Then you're a lucky man, Sloan," Derek said, falling back easily into the friendship as they continued to catch up on their past.

* * *

Meredith settled into the chair the waiter held out for her, and looked at her watch again. Of course she was on time, and of course, Hunter was late. It was something she'd gotten used to, with his busy schedule, he was often held up longer than he anticipated. Still, that didn't mean she liked waiting for him. "Can I bring you something to drink while you're waiting?" the waiter inquired, glancing at the empty chair.

"A glass of chardonnay, please."

"Of course, be right back, Ms Grey."

She smiled a little, as she pulled out her phone to check for any new messages. She would always be Meredith Grey around the city, even after ten years of marriage. And to her daughter, Mia, she was just Mom. Mia was the light of her life, and the best thing that happened to her. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, and the scent of Hunter's aftershave surrounded her before he kissed her on the cheek.

"Sorry I'm late," he told her, sitting down and adjusting his tie. "Last minute meeting that went longer than I anticipated." He picked up the menu and studied it quickly. "Did you order?"

"Just a glass of wine, nothing else. I thought you might be late…" she said.

"Don't start," he frowned. "I don't complain when you're out late at the recording studio, or when I'm taking care of Mia when you're on tour…"

"Hunter, that's called being a parent, not baby-sitting!"

"I'm sorry, Meredith, that was the wrong way to put it, but you know what I mean," Hunter rectified.

"And it has nothing to do with being late for lunch, or other engagements. I swear, you have no sense of time…" As if they didn't have this conversation time and again, like a worn out record, Meredith thought.

The waiter set her glass of wine down, stalling any further arguments. After they placed their lunch order, and Hunter had his glass of Scotch, she refocused her thoughts. "So, what's the big news? You sounded rather mysterious earlier…" Meredith sipped her wine, looking at him. Hunter Conrad was a good looking man, well built and toned, and his suits were cut to emphasize that. His dark brown hair was expensively styled, and he exuded the air of a man who was confident in his appeal. He could be charming when he wanted to be, and irritating as hell when he didn't. After being married for ten years, she should be used to his moods; but if she were honest, they spent a lot of time apart due to her career. Still, he was a good father to Mia, no matter what else, and she was comfortable with their relationship. Maybe comfortable wasn't the most romantic, or passionate, sort of relationship, but it was her life now. It was safe.

"Ah, yes, that. Well, you know I've been interested in local politics for some time now…"

"Yes, you've been pretty involved with the fund raisers and charity functions lately."

"Exactly, and I've been encouraged to take a greater interest in local office," he said with a little smile. "I think I can contribute a lot to the community, Meredith. I'm going to run for mayor of Nashville."

"What? Oh my god, Hunter, are you serious?"

"Never more so."

"You couldn't have discussed it with me first?"

"I'm discussing it now." He reached over the table and took her hand. "This is going to be good, Meredith, but I want your support. Please tell me you understand."

"But…this means a lot of scrutiny on us," she said worriedly. "Does my father know about this? He has his own agenda in this city."

"I know very well what Thatcher is like, I've dealt with him since long before our wedding, remember?" He squeezed her hand. "As a matter of fact, he's behind me on this."

"You discussed this with him already?"

"Yes, actually he approached me about it. He thinks I can do a good job." Hunter grinned at her in that engaging way of his that he used to his advantage.

"I just need to absorb this, but I guess a toast is in order." Meredith lifted her wineglass towards him. "Good luck, Hunter. It's going to be quite an experience."

His glass met hers, and he winked at her. "It will be a helluva ride, and when I win…you'll be right there beside me, Mer. This is going to be great!"

She took a sip of wine, thinking that 'great' wasn't exactly the word she had in mind about this turn of events. She had a feeling that her father was plotting something, he usually was.

* * *

_Meredith settled in the leather club chair in her father's study. She had a quick break in the tour schedule, and it felt almost strange to be at home again. _

_"__Well, Meredith, nice to see you home," Thatcher said with a slight smile. "Are you really sure this is the career path you want to pursue?"_

_"__Dad, I'm able to make up my own mind on this. I love to sing, and I'm doing very well so far." For a moment, she felt a flash of irritation, as if she were ten years old again and caught with her hand in the cookie jar. _

_"__And this Shepherd boy you're with, is he really the best influence on you?"_

_"__I love him, I've told you that before."_

_"__He and that Sloan kid he ran around with in school had some trouble with the cops as I recall. I just want what's best for you, Meredith."_

_Meredith met his gaze steadily. Thatcher Grey had always been doing his best for her financially, not so much emotionally. Ever since her mother passed away, his method of proving love was to throw money at the situation. The best schools, the lavish birthday gifts, the trips to Europe, whatever he thought would make her happy. And yet she'd never wanted anything more than just to play guitar and sing._

_"__Then just believe in me, Dad, and let me do this. Come to the next concert and just see how good we are on stage! Derek is the best, and we write some good songs together. Whatever happened in school is in the past, he's not that kid anymore." At least, that was her hope despite the drinking he was doing while they were on the road. They were still happy together, still writing songs when they could manage a few moments on the tour bus.  
_

_Thatcher smiled slightly. "I can't stop you, Meredith. I can see this means a lot to you, even if I don't understand it completely. The music business is a risky deal, no matter how good you are. I don't want you to get hurt."_

_"__Dad…"_

_"__Just promise me one thing…"_

_"__What?"_

_"__Promise me if you need help with anything, you'll call me. Deal?"_

_"__If you promise to come to a concert? We're opening next week for Reba, in Dallas," she said hopefully._

_"__Reba, well, that's impressive. You have a deal."_

_It was always a deal for him, Meredith realized. And yet, she was happy that he was willing to accept her choices, at least for now. _

* * *

"Meredith! Are you listening to me?" Hunter asked, frowning at her across the table.

"Sorry, just thinking about something else." She shook off the memories, and reached for her wine glass again. "Will you be able to make it to Mia's ballet recital? She really wants us both there."

"I'll do my best, Mer, but there's a ton of things to get done to clear my calendar before the mayoral race kicks in."

"She's pretty excited about this, Hunter. Haven't you seen her practicing?"

"Of course, and she looks adorable in that little tutu. Save me a seat and I'll sneak in if I'm running late." He set his napkin aside and stood up, kissing her on the cheek again. "Gotta run, babe. See you later…"

"Sure, later," she agreed absently.


	3. This Life

**So many thanks for all of the reviews on the last chapter! I know there aren't a lot of us MerDer writers out here anymore, so I'm glad that I'm able to fill a void with my little AU tale. This chapter is a look at where things are at for our pair; I hope you can be patient to wait for them to meet up again in present day!  
**

* * *

**Chapter Three  
This Life  
**

_Meredith listened as the last note of the song faded away, and the recording engineer nodded in approval. The session had gone well to lay the tracks for the first CD she was contracted to make for Storm Records. She glanced back at Derek, who had been playing guitar as always, along with the band who had been on the road with them. He nodded, and gave her thumbs up as well._

_"__Good work, Meredith. This is gonna be great," the engineer told her. "Ed will be happy."_

_"__Good. It felt great," she replied, taking off the headphones. "Are we done for today, then?"_

_"__Sure. I'll do some work on this, and be in touch soon. Might be some backup vocals and tweaking to be done, but nothing major."_

_"__Thanks, Liam. You're the best!"_

_"__That's what they pay me for." Liam flashed her a cheeky grin, before turning his attention to the bank of equipment in front of him. _

_"__Let's go get a drink," Derek urged, once he had his guitar in the case. "Time to celebrate, right?"_

_"__Right. It's not everyday a girl has a CD recorded," she laughed, taking his hand. "Along with her boyfriend backing her up!"_

_"__You sounded perfect." Derek led her towards the elevator, punching the button decisively. _

_"__And you played great. I can't do this without you," she smiled, leaning against him. _

_"__Behind every great singer is a great guitar player," he murmured. The elevator arrived, and they stepped inside. _

_Meredith looked up at him, seeing the clench of his jaw again. "I can't imagine being here without you, Derek. Why do you keep putting yourself down?"_

_"__I'm not. Look, the CD will sell like crazy and make you a big star after the attention you got on tour."_

_Meredith sighed softly. "Let's not argue, okay?"_

_"__We're not arguing, Mer. It's just tough sometimes, okay? Your father already thinks I'm a deadbeat, and I know he'd prefer if I wasn't part of your life."_

_"__Oh, no, he doesn't Derek. Didn't he come to Dallas and see us that time? He could see how good we are together. Dad is just protective of me, always has been. Doesn't mean I like it, or tolerate it. You should know that by now."  
_

_Leaning his shoulder against the wall of the elevator, Derek crossed his arms over his chest. "Let's be honest here, I didn't grow up with all of the same privileges as you. My Dad disappeared when I was a kid, and Mom couldn't keep things together all that great. By the time she died I was already getting in trouble. If you hadn't been there for me, god knows where I'd be right now. But what I do know is that Thatcher wants someone better for you, someone more settled or with a day job that doesn't involve playing guitar."_

_"__But you have a steady job, Derek. We both do!" Meredith couldn't understand his bitterness. "And besides, Dad wanted us both to come to a party he's having tonight. He wouldn't invite you if he didn't mean it. I already told him we couldn't make it, though, just to show he can't control me."_

_"__What kind of party?"_

_"__What? Oh, just some charity thing he's hosting. I really don't want to go, anyway."_

_"__Maybe you should. It's good publicity for you, think of all those fans waiting to see you."_

_"__Then come with me…"_

_"__No, Thatcher really doesn't want me there. You can go, and I'll see you later, okay?" Derek kissed her gently, just before the elevator deposited them at the main level. _

_"__But…"_

_"__I'll have the wine waiting for you, along with me," he assured her and the look in his eyes made her shiver. "Give you something to look forward to…"_

_"__If you're absolutely sure," she said softly. _

_"__Trust me, this is just the way I want it."_

* * *

Derek settled into a deck chair on his back porch, and stretched his legs out in front of him. The evening air was still warm, and scented with some flowers that he couldn't identify. The rental house was small, but suited his needs perfectly; it felt right to have a place to call his own. His dog Max, a black and white bundle of fur, was making his usual circuit along the fence, looking for the best spot to do his business. Max was a rescue dog that Derek had been unable to resist, and he had been an undemanding friend when Derek needed him the most. There was something about a dog's unconditional love that made a person feel good, and the care he required taught Derek to have responsibility for something besides himself.

For now, the evening was peaceful and quiet, and he enjoyed it more than he would have thought a few years ago. In a lot of ways, he'd grown comfortable in his own company, and he didn't need to reach for a drink to make things right.

It had taken a long time to admit to himself that he needed help to control his drinking after running away from Nashville. After all, waking up many mornings with a hangover had become a way of life. Then drinking more to combat the sick feeling and starting the whole thing all over again until he lost track of days. After missing several performances he'd been scheduled for, and finding himself close to destitute, he finally realized he was making a complete mess of his life. The AA meeting he'd dragged himself to had been a turning point and he was thankful for the support they'd provided, no questions asked.

His cell phone rang then, and he looked at the display before answering. "Hello, Richard...how are you?"

"I'm good, Derek…missed you at the meeting tonight."

"I know, I just got caught up in something. I went to the Bluebird, and ran into Mark. We spent some time talking."

"Do you think that was a good idea, Derek?" Richard Webber asked. He was Derek's new AA sponsor here in Nashville, but they'd known each other in passing before. Now, they met over coffee instead of whiskey, and Derek was grateful for the older man's unfailing support.

"Well, maybe not entirely, but I didn't drink, if that's what you're worried about." Derek threw Max's ball across the grass, so the dog raced after it eagerly.

"I'm sure you didn't, Derek. But it's still tempting fate to be there, don't you think?"

"I can handle it, Richard, trust me."

"You and Meredith played there a lot, could've stirred up a lot of memories, which as you know are triggers to taking that drink again."

Derek ran a hand through his hair, looking down at Max who waited at his feet, ball in his mouth. The dog tilted his head, anticipating the next toss. "It was fine, I had coffee and it just felt good to see Mark again. I promise I'll be at the meeting tomorrow."

"All right, but I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, Richard, I appreciate it." Derek wrestled the ball away from Max and threw it again. "Mark asked to think about performing at open mic night sometime."

"Are you going to?"

"Maybe."

"You like to tempt fate, don't you? Your feelings for Meredith are all tied up in that place, as I just pointed out."

Derek sighed a little. "My feelings for Meredith are all tied up in a lot of things, Richard."

"At least you can admit that. Now I have some news to share that I hope won't be too upsetting, but I decided to throw my hat in the ring for mayor. I will still have time to be your sponsor though."

"Seriously? That's great. You'll do well."

"It's going to be a tough race. The incumbent isn't running, and the other front runner is Hunter Conrad."

"What? Meredith's husband is running for mayor, too?"

"He's going to have some big backing with the country music crowd, and Meredith at his side. But I think I have a lot to offer too, so we'll see what happens."

"Well if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."

"I appreciate that, Derek. Enjoy the rest of your night, we'll talk tomorrow."

Derek ended the call thoughtfully, before looking down at Max again. "I think I'm just as happy to keep my head down, and just hang out with you, writing a few songs…" Max dropped the ball again, and wagged his tail happily. "And throwing the ball for you, of course!"

* * *

Meredith tucked her daughter into bed, and kissed her forehead. Mia was warm from the bath, wearing pink pajamas with panda bears, her fair hair in damp ringlets. "Time to go to sleep, Mia. Sweet dreams."

"Wait, is Daddy coming home soon? I want to tell him about the recital, I did good, didn't I?" Mia's eyelids drooped, despite her best efforts to look awake. For a second, Meredith felt her heart catch as she looked at the little girl's innocent grey-blue eyes before Mia snuggled into the pillow. Next to her on the bed was an assortment of stuffed animals, including her favorite puppy. It was a substitute for a real dog, which Meredith felt they weren't quite ready for despite Mia's arguments to the opposite.

"I'm sure he'll be home soon. He's sorry he missed the recital, but he'll be there next time."

"Okay, I guess. Can you sing me a song, Mommy? That one I like?"

"Sure, baby," Meredith agreed, sitting down on the bed. She cherished these quiet moments with Mia, and she started to sing softly. It didn't take long before Mia's breathing slowed, and she had relaxed further into the pillows. Meredith waited a few more minutes, before slowly easing away from the bed, leaving the soft light of the bedside lamp on. As she slipped into the hallway, her cellphone buzzed, and she quickly checked the screen.

"Oh, please…" she muttered, reading the text from Cristina. "Izzie Stevens is going to record some of the songs meant for me? What the hell…?"

She marched into the quiet kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Shiraz from the rack. Only after she poured a glass and took a couple of swallows did she look at her phone again. Then she tapped in a response to Cristina, trying to keep her furious emotion in check. Obviously, Alex was up to some game, passing on material meant for her to Izzie, hoping to get her to cave in to his demands. Well, he would learn that wasn't the way it worked. Cristina knew the game as well, and promised to keep working on the problem.

By that time, Hunter strolled into the kitchen, setting his briefcase down. He kissed her cheek, and poured himself a glass of wine from the open bottle. "You look pissed. What happened?"

"Alex Karev happened."

"Who?"

"The new president of Storm. He thinks he can force me to do what he wants," Meredith said sweetly. "By pushing me to tour with a girl who hasn't paid her dues, and giving her songs that were written for me!" She swallowed the rest of her wine quickly, and refilled her glass.

"Damn, that's harsh. He really wants you to tour?" Hunter loosened his tie, and rested his elbows on the counter. "I thought you were done with going on the road."

"I guess it's the new regime making his presence known. I miss Eddie. He would never have this kind of ridiculous scheme in mind. He must be spinning in his grave."

"Life goes on, babe…" Hunter said, moving to open the refrigerator and check for food. "You don't really need to tour, do you?"

"If I want to sell the new CD, according to Alex. But I don't like his ideas, and Izzie Stevens is not the kind of artist I want to be associated with."

"Izzie Stevens? I've heard of her I think, wasn't she on some reality show?"

Meredith rolled her eyes behind his back. "She has issues, from what I can tell. And Alex wants us to have equal billing. I don't agree."

Hunter turned around, a plate of leftover pasta in his hand. "Then you stick to your beliefs, Mer. Besides, the wife of the mayoral candidate doesn't need to be running all over the country, right?"

For a moment, she stared at him before speaking. "Running all over the country? You make it sound like I'm doing that on a whim, Hunter."

"Whoa, relax…but if I'm running for mayor, I'd like to have you here to support me. It looks better."

"Well, of course, but I do have my own career too, Hunter. I'm not just here to look pretty on your arm. The thing is, if I don't tour Alex is going to hold the new CD back, and if I want to keep my name out there, I have to put out new music. He's such an ass, but he runs the company now."

"You've come a long way, Mer. You can deal with whatever he throws at you; you're a strong woman." He set the plate in the microwave, dismissing her concerns and she bit her tongue to keep from saying anything else. "Is Mia sleeping?"

"Probably, but I think she wanted to wait up for you," Again, she refrained from pointing out the fact he was late getting home and had missed the recital altogether.

"I meant to be out of the office sooner, but I had to finish some paperwork for April to file early tomorrow. You understand, don't you, babe?"

"I might understand, but I'm not the one you need to apologize to."

"Did you record the recital? I'll watch it later, and make it up to her," Hunter flashed her a grin. "Now, I'll go and check in on her. Then we can have some of this pasta to go with the wine, and relax. How does that sound?" He pulled her close, and she could feel the heat of his body against her, and the waft of alcohol on his breath. But he was solid and safe, and she rested her cheek against his chest.

"Sounds good…" she acquiesced. "Sometimes I think you spend more time with April than with me…"

"She's my assistant, after all," Hunter reminded her. "I don't think she sleeps, she scares me, sometimes…"

Meredith laughed softly, stepping back. "She is quite efficient…now, go see Mia and I'll get the food ready."

As she busied herself putting out plates and cutlery, she could hear his footsteps and the slight rumble of his voice as he talked to Mia. Their life was certainly not what she'd expected, but then life didn't always work out the way you planned, she thought; unforeseen crossing of paths made a change in the route you thought was carved in stone.

* * *

_"__Meredith, so glad you made it, I thought you were too busy," Thatcher greeted his daughter as she paused at the doorway of the hotel ballroom. The crowd was already consuming drinks and appetizers, and the sound of music provided a buzz in the background. She caught glimpses of several major country stars, ranging from Rascal Flatts to Vince Gill to Martina McBride mingling with local politicians and business people. _

_"__Looks like you've got quite a good turnout, you should be thrilled," she observed. "I can't stay long," she added as he kissed her cheek. _

_"__You look lovely, I believe the music business suits you after all."_

_ "__Thank you, I think…" Meredith was wearing a patterned red and black silk blouse, and slim black skirt, with her hair loose. She'd decided to keep her style simple and elegant, and not over the top country kitsch. _

_"__At least you're here alone, I've got someone I'd like you to meet." Thatcher tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. _

_"__Dad, just because you don't like Derek doesn't mean he doesn't exist. I thought you were okay with our relationship."_

_"__Of course, but it never hurts to make new acquaintances." _

_"__Fine…" Meredith let him lead her towards a group of people, determined to say hello and have a drink and leave as soon as politely possible. _

_"__Good. Now, this is Hunter Conrad, he has his own business in real estate…" Meredith shook hands with the man, who gave her an appraising look that made her feel a little uncomfortable. He was broad shouldered, and impeccably dressed in a tailored suit. His eyes twinkled mischievously at her, along with his flirtatious smile._

_"__The famous Meredith Grey, good to meet you."_

_"__Hardly famous, Mr. Conrad, but I'm working my way up the ladder," she countered. He was far too self-assured but she couldn't deny the charm he exuded. Thatcher managed to disappear, leaving them alone._

_"__Please, call me Hunter. Your father has been telling me all about you, so you must be famous! Now can I get you a drink, as I see you haven't had a chance to get one yet?" he asked, guiding her towards the bar. "Tell me, what do you do for fun around here? Maybe we can escape and get to know each better…"_

_"__Are you hitting on me after we've just met?" she laughed, despite herself._

_"__Is that a bad thing?" Hunter grinned at her, once they reached the crowded bar. _

_"__I'm involved with someone, so yes…"_

_"__But you're here alone."_

_"__Mmm…let's just say Derek and my father don't see eye to eye." _

_"__I wouldn't let your father deter me, if I were him. Now what are you drinking?"_

_"__Just a glass of chardonnay." Meredith waited as he got their drinks, checking her watch discreetly to see if she could leave yet._

_"__So you're on the road to fame and fortune, from what I hear. Good for you." Hunter toasted her with his glass of Scotch once he was beside her again._

_"__It's early yet, but I have great support at Storm Records, and I'm giving it my best shot. Derek, my boyfriend, is my lead guitarist, so we're in this together.__"_

_"__Ah, the absent boyfriend who let you come to the party alone…he's crazy."_

_"__Look, you don't know Derek, so please don't be rude. This is my father's party, I'm not here for any other reason than to show up and make nice for awhile," Meredith said firmly, taking a sip of wine. "And on that note, I should go speak with a few people before I leave."_

_"__I'm sorry, don't be mad. I have a habit of sticking my foot in my mouth. I haven't been in Nashville for long, and I could use a friend," Hunter said, with a disarming smile._

_"__Does that line really work?" she laughed. _

_"__Sometimes. But I really haven't been here long; I met your father by chance when he was looking for some new warehouse space. He's quite the businessman."_

_"__Oh yes, not always the most scrupulous businessman, but he's made his fortune. I intend to make mine on my own merits."_

_"__Very commendable. I'll be sure to watch for your star rising on the country music scene…Grand Old Opry is the goal, right?"_

_Meredith raised her glass towards him. "See, you do know your Nashville, Mr. Conrad. It was nice meeting you. I'm sure you'll do well."_

_"__Wait, you really need to call me Hunter if we're going to be friends. Do I at least get your phone number?" Hunter asked, putting his hand on her arm. "Just as a friend, I promise…"_

_"__I'll think about it," she said, extricating herself. "Enjoy the rest of the party!"_

* * *

Meredith stirred in her sleep, and rolled over, and realized sleepily that Hunter wasn't there beside her in the king size bed. Glancing at the clock confirmed it was still the middle of the night, and she buried her head back in the pillow, willing herself back to sleep. But she could see a sliver of light under the door to the bathroom, and heard the slight murmur of his voice. Obviously some business crisis, she thought, letting sleep overtake her again.

In the bathroom, Hunter rested a hip against the vanity, his phone against his ear. "Just calm down, all right? You know I can't get out to see you right now. And don't worry about the money, it will be paid back without anyone's knowledge. You're in this just as deep as me, so do not lecture me." He rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. It was too damn late at night to have this conversation. "Just…please relax…you know if things were different, I would be with you right now. But I can't leave Meredith, especially with the mayoral race coming up. Please, sweetheart…don't threaten me...just get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow. Everything will work out, I promise…"

After another few moments of conversation, he finally ended the call and set the phone on the counter. With the election campaign about to take off, maybe he needed to cool off this relationship. There would be enough scrutiny on his life without adding the worry of being caught with his pants down, literally. This was just the beginning of the new phase in his life and he didn't need to mess it up. He nodded decisively, and slipped his phone in the pocket of his robe before walking quietly into the bedroom. Meredith didn't stir as he gently eased into bed, and pulled the covers up over them; he smiled to himself, everything would be fine.


	4. Meetings

**Thank you for the reviews to the last chapter, sparse as they may be! So some of you out there are likely not happy about the lack of MerDer interaction...hopefully this chapter will make you feel a little better.**

**I also realized that I've been remiss in thanking someone that has been encouraging me on this story from the beginning! Thanks to Jill for reading and cheering me on, you're the best! **

* * *

**Chapter Four  
Meetings  
**

_After leaving Thatcher's party, Meredith drove home, anticipating the rest of the evening with Derek. But as she parked her Jeep in the driveway, she could see that the small house they were renting was completely dark. With a sinking feeling, she opened the front door and stepped inside, with a sense the house was empty. A lamp was knocked onto the floor, and Derek's guitar was on the table, next to an empty bottle of wine. What the hell had happened? _

_"__Derek...?" she whispered, just to be sure, "you here?" When there was no answer, she gripped her keys in hand, ready to go look for him. Then she saw the sweep of headlights across the front yard, and Derek's truck lurched into the driveway, nearly hitting the back bumper of her Jeep. This was followed immediately by red and blue flashing lights, and the police car skidded to a stop blocking the driveway. _

_Before she could run across the lawn to help, Derek pushed the door open and managed to nearly fall out of the truck as the officer was approaching to intercept him. "Just hold it there, sir. Can I see your driver's license and registration?"_

_"__What did he do, officer?" Meredith asked breathlessly joining them as Derek swayed towards her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and the harsh scent of whiskey hung around him like a cloud. "Look, I can make sure he gets inside, and I'll take away the keys..."_

_"__Miss, he's already plowed over a stop sign, and took out a mailbox a few blocks back. He should have considered calling for a cab when he left the bar," the officer commented, reviewing Derek's identification. "It's fortunate that he didn't cause a more serious accident. As it is, he'll lose his license for 48 hours, he's going to have to pay for damages, and I should really make him spend the night in the tank to sober up."_

_"__Oh my god..." _

_"__It's okay, honey...I'm fine..." Derek muttered, trying to plant a kiss on her cheek as he continued to wobble drunkenly. "Jus' had a few drinks with the guys..."_

_"__Sure." _

_"__Make sure he stays home now, Miss. I can't promise that he'll get off this easy next time." He handed over the documentation for the licence suspension. "Have a nice night..." _

_"__Right..." Meredith steered Derek towards the house. "Let's go inside. You need coffee, or sleep, or both. What were you thinking?"_

_"__I meant to be home sooner, jus' lost track of time, baby...so shorry..."_

_"__How much did you drink?"_

_"__Dunno...Mark was there, I think..." Derek squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on what happened, stumbling against her. _

_"__Oh, great..."_

_They made it inside, and she managed to help him to the sofa, where he collapsed and pulled her down onto his lap. Despite his inebriation, he still managed to wrap his arms around her, and bring her closer to kiss her. And despite her irritation with him, Meredith responded to the kiss. It was crazy, but she couldn't help the arousal that started at the demanding passion between them. Then he was sliding her skirt up over her hips, and delving his fingers along the suddenly wet silk that covered her. She gasped at the way he stroked her, and the way her body responded to it. There was almost a desperation in the way he held her, the way his mouth claimed hers, as if he couldn't bear to let her go._

_"Mere..."he whispered, "I missed you, I'm sorry I didn't go with you...I'm an ass..."_

_"It was boring," she murmured. _

_"I love you..." His mouth slid lower, over her collarbone, making her shiver in anticipation. "Nobody else but you..."_

_"Good, I love you too." _

_"I didn't mean for this to happen..." For a moment, Derek was silent and she wondered if he'd fallen asleep, but his hand continued to make a slow caress on her skin. "I meant to wait...but I opened the wine...and then it was all gone..." He paused again. "So I wanted...to get another bottle...and stopped at the Bluebird for a beer..."_

_"And you got drunk," she finished.  
_

_"I wasn't that bad, I swear, I thought...I mean, I could drive, seriously..."  
_

_"Is there something you want to talk about?" She was worried about his drinking; it seemed to be getting out of control. Tonight was just another instance of it._

_"I'm fine, Mer! Don't hassle me!" he snapped.  
_

_"Okay, okay..." Meredith sat up, and ran her hand through the hair he'd tangled earlier. "C'mon, you need a shower, you smell like beer and whiskey..."_

_"Yeah, sure...with you..."  
_

_Meredith helped him to his feet, and they made their way to the small bathroom. She started the water running, humming a little, and turned to tell him it was warm enough. The hot water supply was limited, and if you didn't get in there quickly it ran out. _

_"Derek..." There was no answer, and she peeked into the bedroom. He was sprawled across the bed, face down, and fast asleep. She shook her head, and dragged an afghan over him, and kissed her cheek. "Good night babe..."_

* * *

Derek took his guitar in hand, and paused at the edge of the stage. Despite some misgivings, he had decided to attend the open mic night. The Bluebird was packed as it always had been in the evenings, with the conversation loud and the smell of stale beer in the air. He inhaled deeply, it was the scent of the past, only now he was here on his own, without Meredith to front for him. Behind the bar, Mark nodded at him eagerly, giving him the thumbs up.

"Make it or break it, Shepherd…" he muttered, stepping onto the stage. For a second, his gut clenched in trepidation, but he nodded at the crowd before taking a seat. It was just him and his guitar, and he wanted to do this right. "Hey, it's good to be back here. If anyone out there has been around for awhile you might remember me…Derek Shepherd. And if you're new here, then just give me a little latitude, I haven't played live like this in some time. Even more so, without whiskey…" He strummed a few notes on the guitar. "Maybe it's cliché for a country singer to deal with demons in his past, but it does help to battle them and come out on the other side. Gives a guy some good material to write about, anyway!" He laughed softly, and the crowd joined in. "This is a song I wrote awhile ago, I hope you enjoy it. It's called 'This Town'."

_This town ain't yours  
And this town ain't mine.  
We all come here with a light in our eyes  
Some will burn out.  
Some will burn bright.  
Some learn to fly.  
Some will run for their lives.  
In this town.  
In this town._

_Strangers, we're nothin' but strangers_  
_When our heart's in danger_  
_For the song we sing._  
_I've seen the devil inside me_  
_But I won't let him guide me_  
_Or take my wings_

As he continued singing, his initial uncertainty faded away, and he lost himself in the music as he always did. It felt good to sing in front of the live crowd, their rapt attention telling him they were enjoying it as much as he was. Once the last chord faded away, Derek paused for a moment, and then looked up as wild applause greeted him. He stood and gave them a quick grin, and a wave, before he stepped off the stage. One song was all he was prepared to perform tonight, and there were plenty of other people waiting to sing. For a split second, he thought of Meredith, wondering what she would say if she heard him singing solo. He shook that off, too much water under that particular bridge.

"Here…" Mark held out a glass of soda water. "That was just great! You need to come here more often."

"I might do that, Mark. It went better than I thought."

"You always had a good voice, don't sell yourself short." Mark nodded, moving away to pour a few more drinks, leaving Derek to sip his water thoughtfully. He wasn't sure if he was ready to make a career as a solo act, but he might enjoy testing the waters here a little bit. As he started to put his guitar away in the case, someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, great guitar work!"

Derek glanced up at the man behind him, dressed in an expensive suit that didn't fit in with the laid back vibe from the rest of the crowd. "Thanks."

"Alex Karev, president of Storm Records."

Derek straightened, and shook the hand held out to him. "What happened to Ed Granger?"

"You knew Ed?"

"Long time ago."

"Ah, well…he passed away, sorry."

"Sorry to hear that. What can I help you with?"

"You have a unique talent. I think we could work out a deal, if you're not signed with anyone else? I haven't seen you around before."

Derek shook his head, and slung the guitar case over his shoulder. "I've been away for awhile. Not sure what I want to do." He felt Alex's appraising scrutiny take in his appearance from head to toe. "Thanks for the offer, but…"

"Wait, now I remember why your name is familiar, Derek," Alex grinned, nodding. "You and Meredith Grey go way back, am I right?"

"So way back it's ancient history."

"She's probably going out on tour pretty soon, along with Izzie Stevens…could always use another good guitar man in the band. I understand if you don't want to work with Meredith, but Izzie's just getting started out. You could work with her."

"Thanks, but no thanks…" Derek tried to edge by, keeping a polite smile on his face. "I'm my own boss these days." He glanced at his watch. "I've got to get going."

"Well, if you change your mind, give me a call." Alex pressed a business card into Derek's hand. "I intend to take Storm Records even further than before. Granger was old school, I'm the new wave."

"Good luck with that," Derek said, heading towards the door. Maybe Mark was right, things were changing around here, whether for better or worse remained to be seen.

* * *

Meredith stretched lazily, luxuriating in the soft comfort of the sheets. She could hear the sound of Hunter's voice, along with Mia's, coming from the kitchen. Obviously he was making pancakes for her, Mia's favorite breakfast. It was a morning ritual they shared on Saturdays, letting Meredith sleep in for awhile.

After what seemed like only moments, she was aware of small footsteps pounding towards the bedroom. "Mommy! Get up!" Mia squealed, jumping on the bed with all of the enthusiasm of a little girl who had her share of cinnamon pancakes with maple syrup. Meredith's eyes snapped open, and she grabbed her daughter to bring her down beside her.

"Oh, is it morning?" she teased. She kissed Mia's cheek, tasting the sticky syrup left behind after breakfast.

"It is… and Daddy says you need to get up now!"

"He does?"

"Yep, he says we can go and look at puppies today, Mommy! Puppies! Isn't that awesome?" Mia's face beamed with excitement at this news, and Meredith sat up quickly.

"What? He said what?"

"Puppies, Mommy…you know we talked about that," Mia said patiently. "I'm bigger now, and I promise I'll look after it…please, Mommy….?" She looked up at Meredith from under a fringe of lashes, her eyes pleading.

"But…I thought we talked about not being ready for a puppy…if I have to go away to sing on tour…" Meredith reminded her, but felt immediately ambushed once Mia's lower lip quivered.

"She's old enough to look after a puppy," Hunter spoke up from the bedroom door, and Meredith shot him a look that spoke volumes. "Besides, her birthday is coming up and I think it's a good idea." He joined them on the bed, giving her an innocent smile that rivalled Mia's.

"I see, and what kind of puppy do we have in mind?" Meredith asked. "I feel like you've been conspiring together while I was sleeping."

"I think we can handle a new addition to the family. If you have to tour, then we'll deal with it when the time comes. I thought we could check out the shelter; I happen to know they have some new litters of puppies available...how can you resist a puppy?"

"I'm obviously outvoted then! But I don't think we need anything that will get too big or unruly…something small and cute…?" Meredith asked, looking at Mia, who nodded in agreement.

"Small and cute, of course…" Hunter grinned. "Just like my favorite girl…" He pounced on Mia, making her giggle happily. Meredith joined in, happy in the family moment and pushing aside any other concerns. But she was going to have a talk with Hunter later on about this.

* * *

Derek hooked the leash on Max's collar before letting the dog out of his truck in front of the pet store. He needed to get dog food, and Max loved to accompany him to sniff the toys and generally charm anyone in his path.

Once he was inside, he was aware of some commotion at the back of the shop. There seemed to be a small crowd gathering, and he peered around the stack of dog food cans to find out what was going on. "Is there a big sale on something?" he asked one of the clerks that was hurrying by.

"No! Meredith Grey is here!" she called out, not stopping.

For a moment, he was frozen to the spot, and his gut twisted. He knew this moment would happen sooner or later, he just hadn't counted on it in the aisle at PetsMart. "Maybe we should just leave quietly, Max," he muttered, ruffling the dog's fur. Before he could make a move, a small ball of brown fur made a beeline towards them. Max sat patiently, tail wagging, as the puppy skidded to a stop in front of him. Derek quickly scooped the puppy into his hand, as Max proceeded to sniff it curiously. "Hey there little guy..."

"Oh, you caught him!" A young girl came running towards him, obviously in pursuit. "He got away from me!"

Derek crouched down to hand the puppy over to her. "They have a tendency to do that," he said seriously. "Do you have a leash for him?"

"We just got him before we came here. Mommy's getting all his stuff right now."

"I see...what's his name?"

"Benji, just like the one in the movie!"

"He does look like a Benji," Derek agreed. "This is Max."

Max obediently lifted his paw to shake and the little girl giggled, before reaching out to take it. "Nice to meet you. I'm Mia."

"There you are, Mia! You can't run off like that..."

"Mommy! Look, this is Max...he can shake a paw! Can we teach Benji to do that?"

Derek stood up, prepared to make an apology for not sending the girl back promptly, and found himself face to face with Meredith. For a second, their eyes locked, and neither of them said a word. After all this time, what was the right thing to say? All he could do was look at her, feeling caught in a moment of pure deja vu. Seeing photos of her on television or the internet over the years hadn't prepared him for the physical punch in the gut of actually standing face to face with her again. Her hair looked just as soft as he'd remembered, her eyes a little more guarded and her lavender scent triggered more memories of holding her close and sharing those quick kisses he had taken for granted would always be his. She was dressed casually in jeans and a simple green tank top, her sunglasses perched on top of her head, but she looked even better than he could have imagined.

"Derek...oh my god..." she murmured, "what are you doing here?"

"Here, as in PetsMart?" he asked, trying to sound normal. "Or the bigger 'here' as in Nashville?"

"Both, I guess..."

"Mommy?" Mia tugged at Meredith's hand, getting her attention before he could form an answer. "Can we go now? I think Benji has to pee!"

"What? Oh good lord, Mia, yes we should go..." Meredith gathered her wits. "I'm sorry, but this isn't a good time...Hunter insisted we get this puppy, and then he took off back to the office. I'm not quite sure what we need..."

"I understand, but I can help," Derek found himself saying. "I've had Max since he was a pup abandoned by his mother. How about I take Benji outside to take care of business while you finish up in here?"

"That would be great, but..."

"I don't mind, really. One less thing for you to worry about, getting a pup is a big deal. Mia seems pretty excited."

Meredith nodded briefly. "Too excited."

"She looks just like you," he told her, taking in Mia's fair hair and delicate features.

"Thanks." Meredith looked down at her daughter, who was fidgeting to get moving. "Honey, Derek's going to help us with Benji for a bit, and we'll meet up with him outside okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." Mia carefully handed the puppy back to Derek.

By then, the crowd had started to edge closer again, and Meredith looked resigned to spending some time with them. Already the cell phones were in the air, snapping pictures, and she held tight onto Mia's hand as she turned away from him. He quickly made his way towards the door. "All right, Benji, let's get you outside, and don't pee on my shirt."

* * *

Meredith kept Mia at her side as she signed a few autographs, and posed for some photos with the fans that had crowded around them. She always did her best to be gracious and accomodating, but at the moment she felt too rattled to be completely herself. Seeing Derek out of the blue, in here of all places, wasn't what she'd expected. What was she going to say to him after all this time? She needed to be in control and adult about this, if not for her sake, then for Mia's.

As she hurriedly gathered up supplies, she tried to calm her nerves. She could do this, she could see him again and it would be fine.

"Mommy, are you all right?" Mia asked, as Meredith piled dog toys, treats, bowls and a dog bed into the cart.

"What? Oh of course."

"Who is that man who helped Benji?"

"Derek? He's a friend, an old friend..."

"Oh. He looks nice, and his dog was cute! Are we done yet? I want to see Benji."

"Okay, we're done I think, let's go." Meredith steered the cart towards the cashier, unable to avoid the inevitable any longer.


	5. Breaking Hearts

**Thanks to all that have been reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I realize this story is different in a lot of ways from my other fics, so I hope you'll be able to continue to enjoy it as it unfolds. There's a couple more flashbacks in this chapter, filling in a little more background for our couple. (With a little bit of a callback to early Grey's as you might recognize at the end of this chapter.)  
**

* * *

**Chapter Five  
Breaking Hearts  
**

_The night Derek lost his driver's licence for 48 hours would be the first of several times he couldn't control his addiction. But waking that next morning, with a severe hangover, and no clear memory of what happened the night before sent him staggering into the kitchen. Meredith was making coffee and toast, wearing her favorite t-shirt and soft flannel pajama pants, and she looked at him warily._

_"__Hey, you look like crap," she told him, handing over a cup of coffee.  
_

_"__Need water..." he muttered, pulling the fridge open and grabbing the bottle gratefully. "Aspirin?"_

_"__You're lucky I understand your morning after rambling..." She tossed the aspirin bottle at him, before hopping onto the counter. "Guess you shouldn't mix red wine and whiskey, huh?"_

_Derek cut her a look before swallowing a couple pills, and gulping more water. "What?"_

_"__Seriously, Derek?" Meredith sighed a little. "Okay, here's the way you explained things last night - you drank the wine while you were waiting, went to get more and then ended up drinking with Mark. When I got home, I found the house empty and I thought at first something terrible happened when I saw the lamp knocked over."_

_ "__Lamp?" Derek closed his eyes. "Sorry..."  
_

_"__Fine, there's more. Then you come roaring into the driveway, nearly hitting the bumper of my Jeep, with the cops right behind you. Derek, you were drunk and you drove home, what were you thinking?" Meredith looked at him over the rim of her coffee cup, concern and anger warring in her expression. "What if you got into an accident?"_

_"__But I didn't..." He squinted, trying to remember. "Right?"_

_"__According to the cop, you took out a stop sign and a mailbox. You've lost your licence for 48 hours!"_

_"__Shit, I'm sorry, Mer." Derek ran a hand through his hair. "I remember picturing you at the party, meeting some asshole in a suit that Thatcher lined up for you. I just got so mad."_

_"__I told you last night, it was boring, but I guess you don't remember that either," she said. "Don't prove Dad right, Derek. When he finds out about this, he's only going to use it against you." _

_"__Did you meet anyone at the party last night?"_

_"__Just some guy Dad's doing business with, some real estate guy," she admitted._

_Derek nodded bitterly. "I can just imagine..."_

_"__Derek, for god's sake, I love you! I'm not letting Dad come between you and me, all right? Can we stop having this argument?" She dashed away tears from her cheek, looking at him sadly._

_He went to stand closer to her, putting his hand on her thigh. "I'm sorry, Mer, it won't happen again, I swear." He leaned in, and cupped her cheek, a scrap of memory from the night before coming back to him. Remembered wanting to make love to her on the sofa, but he had a feeling that didn't happen. But she was always there for him, and god knew he needed her in his life. _

_She tugged on his hand and he moved between her legs, wrapping his arms around her waist. He rested his head against her chest, and she threaded her fingers through his hair. Despite the throb in his head, and the queasiness in his body, he welcomed the feel of her touch. _

_"__Promise me you mean that," she whispered. "Promise me it won't happen again..."_

_"__I promise..." And at that moment, he meant every word._

* * *

Meredith took a deep breath as she and Mia headed outside. The initial shock of seeing Derek still lingered, it somehow didn't feel real. Of course, their relationship had imploded due to his drinking, despite all of his promises to stop, and yet there was still that old frisson of excitement in her veins. After all, they had shared too many intimacies, experienced too many highs and lows, to deny their past.

As Mia made a beeline for Benji, Meredith took the opportunity to stall the conversation by stowing the bag of essential puppy supplies in the back of the Mercedes SUV. How much did one small dog need, seriously? But she could feel Derek's eyes on her, and she turned finally to face him.

"So, you're here in Nashville. Are you working?"

Derek shrugged lightly. "Not really, just weighing my options."

She crossed her arms over her chest, finally taking the time to look at him closely. He looked older, of course, but unlike a lot of men, he seemed to have grown more attractive with the passing time. His hair was still black and thick, if a bit unruly; his eyes were intensely blue as ever; the habitual stubble along his jaw was appealingly masculine, and his build was slim and hinted at muscles under the well worn plaid shirt and faded jeans. In fact, he looked damn good, even more at ease with himself, if that was possible. Whatever demons he'd had before seemed to have been exorcised, and left him clear eyed and relaxed.

"Well, there's always someone looking to hire a good guitar player," she said finally. "Or whatever you might be looking to do."

"I'm in no hurry." Derek shrugged again. "I just felt it was time to come back here, where I feel at home. You seem to have achieved what you set out to do, though. You must be happy."

"I can't complain." Meredith looked at Mia, who was playing on the grass with Benji. "But it wouldn't mean anything without Mia. She's a wonderful little girl."

"I can see that. And I heard Hunter is going to run for mayor of Nashville," he added, raising one eyebrow.

"Oh yes, news travels fast."

"I have an inside source..."

"Well, I think Thatcher is going to back him. Kind of a scary thought, isn't it?"

"Very."

For a moment, their eyes met in recognition of her father's actions before her cell phone chirped to indicate a new text message, and she glanced at it quickly. "Oh, I'll need to deal with this, sorry…." she murmured, suddenly relieved that she had an excuse to leave. Derek stirred up too many memories, too many emotions, and she needed to put some distance between them.

"I understand," he said quickly. "Look, Meredith, I didn't expect to see you like this, and I don't expect that things will change between us just because I'm back in town. I know you have the life you wanted." His voice was low and depreciative, and she shivered despite herself. After all the years, and the determination to put him out of her life, he was here and he would be damn hard to put out of her thoughts. But he was her past, and that was where he needed to stay. She tried to ignore the way his eyes lingered on her, the way she felt the emotional tug of their past on her heart. How did this happen, after so many years...she should be immune.

"Life goes on..." she managed to say finally.

_"__Long after the thrill of livin' is gone_..." he added, unable to resist quoting John Mellencamp.

Despite herself, a small laugh bubbled out of her. "Somehow quoting song lyrics doesn't surprise me!"

"Hazard of the job, I suppose," he smiled, and her heart flipped again. She remembered that smile, and the times they'd shared smiles like it.

"I really need to go. Good luck with whatever it is you'll end up doing," she said firmly, backing away.

"Thanks, it was good to see you...and good luck with the puppy..." He looked over at Mia, who was happily playing with Benji while Max sat nearby as if keeping an eye on the two of them.

"I'll need it!" Meredith moved quickly to hurry Mia into the vehicle, leaving him looking at her. She felt suddenly breathless and confused as she slid into the driver's seat. Mia looked up at her, still cuddling Benji against her chest.

"Derek has an awesome dog! I like him..."

"You mean Max? You liked Max?"

Mia nodded, but then she considered. "I like Derek too. He was nice to take Benji to pee."

"That was very nice."

"Can we ask him to help train Benji to shake a paw like Max?" Mia asked hopefully.

Meredith avoided the question for a moment, concentrating on the traffic. "Oh, we'll see, Mia. I'm not sure how much time he has. Besides, Benji's pretty little yet, we need to worry about getting him housetrained before anything else."

"Okay." Mia accepted that answer, and returned her attention to the puppy. Meredith was thankful there were no other questions for the time being. She wasn't sure she could answer them.

* * *

Later that evening, Meredith curled up in the wing chair near the fireplace, with a cup of tea on the table next to her. The air was cool enough to warrant the faux flames of the gas fireplace, and she enjoyed the ambience as she checked her email on her laptop. After the shock of seeing Derek at the pet store, and then dealing with the demands of the puppy's feeding and potty demands, she was content to relax for the evening.

But a quick glance through her inbox confirmed that it wasn't to be. Cristina sent her a few messages about Alex's latest correspondence. Not only was he giving Izzie some of the songs meant for Meredith, now he was talking about hiring Derek to play guitar for the girl.

"Oh no, he is not doing this..." Meredith muttered, grabbing her phone to call Cristina, who answered on the first ring. "Cris...you've got to stop Karev..."

"Hey, how was I supposed to know he was going to hire some guy out of the blue? And what does it matter who plays backup for the pop tart?"

"That guy...is someone I used to know a long time ago," Meredith sighed. "As in...we had a pretty major relationship."

"Aha, I see..actually I don't...I thought we were friends, Mer. Who is this guy?"

Biting her lip, Meredith wondered how much to share with Cristina. "He was with me when I started out, I thought you knew that..."

"Oh, wait you mean _that_ Derek Shepherd! Sure, I heard about that, but you still didn't tell me anything about him."

"It was a long time ago, before I was married to Hunter...it's a really long story, Cris."

"You can't dodge it forever, obviously. You still owe me the details the next time we have drinks."

"I promise, I will tell you the sordid details." Meredith wondered briefly if she could share all of those details, but for the moment it satisfied Cristina, who returned to the original topic of conversation.

"I think you need to sit down with Karev again. He's going to keep pushing it."

"Just give me some time, okay? I need to sort out what I need to do here. I hate to go on tour and leave Mia for long periods of time. And now we have a puppy, and Hunter's running for mayor...how does my life get so complicated?"

"Complicated doesn't begin to describe it, Mer. Look, let me deal with Karev a little longer and see if I can't get him to think rationally before we start to panic. He's just an overgrown frat boy, essentially..."

"Okay, thanks Cris."

"That's what you pay me for!"

Meredith set the phone aside and picked up her tea again. Her life was complicated, all right. She rested her head against the back of the chair and closed her eyes. Seeing Derek in the afternoon had made her feel off balance, what the hell would she do if Karev hired him to play back up guitar for Izzie? Not that she meant to go on tour, seriously...but it would be extremely awkward if that did come to pass. Her relationship with Derek had spiralled out of control more quickly than either of them had realized, leaving them unable to deal with the fallout.

Before she could get too maudlin, Hunter strolled into the room and dropped into a chair across from her. "Well, Mia's settled in bed with Benji in the crate on the floor. I think we'll need to use that old baby monitor to listen for any whining during the night."

"Are you taking Benji outside if he needs to pee?" Meredith asked.

"I have an early meeting, but sure, I'll listen for him. April's picking me up at 7:00 and briefing me on the way."

"Ah, I see. And what meeting is that?" Meredith asked, picking up her mug of tea.

"Just a pre-mayoral race thing. She's been great at getting things organized."

"I'm sure she has. She's a marvel of organization, even picking up your dry cleaning." Meredith looked at him. "And just to let you know, I'm still a little unhappy about getting Benji. We could have discussed this a little more before you told Mia."

"Sorry, babe, it just seemed like the right time." Hunter glanced at his phone as it vibrated in his hand. "I need to take this, we'll talk later, okay?' He got to his feet and answered the call, leaving her alone with her thoughts again.

* * *

Derek sat outside on his back porch, feet propped up on the rail, hands jammed in the pockets of his denim jacket. He was still thinking about seeing Meredith, and he had replayed the scene over and over again in his mind. There were a lot of things he could have said, things he had imagined saying a thousand times over the years, and yet he hadn't. His broken promises had broken her heart, more than once, until she finally had enough. He had a bad memory of fighting with her after a scene inside the Bluebird, not one of his finer moments.

He held his phone in his hand, ready to call Richard. He needed to check in and get his sponsor's words of wisdom to deal with the emotional fallout of seeing her. Max bumped against his leg, before resting his head on Derek's leg. "Good boy, Max. You want to go for a walk?" In response, Max's body wiggled in happy anticipation, his tail wagging quickly. "All right, we'll go, and I'll call Richard later. A walk will clear my head anyway." He got to his feet and went in search of the leash. Hopefully he could put the memory out of his mind and call Richard later.

* * *

_Meredith was sitting at one of the small tables at the Bluebird, absently twirling a glass of iced tea. She and Derek were supposed to be singing tonight, but he wasn't there yet. It was a fund raising event for a local charity, and there were several big name stars on hand, all willing to lend their names to the cause. She still felt a little star-struck, being in close proximity with so many of the people she'd idolized for years. Even after being on tour, opening for Vince or Reba, hadn't made much difference. _

_She felt a tap on her shoulder, and she looked around, expecting to see Derek, but it wasn't. "Hunter, what are you doing here?" _

_"__You say the nicest things," he said with a grin. "Can I join you?"_

_"__Well, I'm expecting Derek. We're on in a little while, but he's not here yet."_

_"__Hmmm, I see." Hunter snagged a chair from the next table and sat down beside her. "I'm beginning to wonder if this guy is real."_

_Meredith rolled her eyes. "You've only met me once before without him, hardly a cause for concern."_

_"__Still, I wouldn't leave you alone if I were seeing you." Hunter flagged down a waitress and ordered a beer. "You want something?"_

_"__No, I'm okay, thanks."_

_"__You asked what I'm doing here; it's always good to attend these things and try to do a little networking. And I do contribute to the charity, before you think I'm a total sleaze," he added with a smile. _

_"__I don't know you that well yet," she countered. _

_"__Give me a chance, I'll show you how nice a guy I am."_

_Meredith laughed. "You never stop flirting, do you?"_

_"__Second nature, I admit, but I really would like to get to know you better." Hunter leaned in a little closer, putting his hand on her arm. "You're a beautiful, talented woman and I find that very hot."_

_"__Ah, Hunter, maybe you need to..." she started to say, but before she could finish, Derek was shoving Hunter aside. Caught off guard, Hunter fell backwards, into the path of the waitress returning with a tray of drinks. _

_"__Derek!" Meredith jumped up and grabbed his arm. _

_"__Who the hell is he?" Derek demanded. _

_"__Can we talk about this somewhere else?" she asked, as the crowd gathered around them. Hunter managed to stand up, and helped the waitress to her feet as well. "Derek...there's nothing happening. Hunter was just talking to me." Derek's eyes seemed a little unfocused as he looked at her, his breathing uneven as she steered him through the crowd. Once they were outside, she whirled around to face him. He rested one shoulder against the brick wall, his expression still angry. "Oh for god's sake, stop looking at me like that!"_

_"What was going on with that guy? It looked pretty intense." He pushed away from the wall, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "It makes me crazy seeing some other guy with his hands on you. That's the guy you met at the party, isn't it?"_

_"He just showed up and sat down, I didn't invite him, all right? You can't seriously believe that I'm interested in him?" Meredith's eyes widened in shock. "You're drunk again, and you're wrong about this! You've caused a scene in there, and we're not going to be able to perform. What's wrong with you?"_

_For a moment, Derek stared at her, ashamed of his actions but his anger was fueled by the alcohol. He caught her face in his hands, and brought his mouth down to hers forcefully. Increasing the pressure, he forced her mouth open to his, tongues crashing together. Despite herself, Meredith started to respond to his familiar touch. She met his mouth hungrily, small whimpers of desire punctuating the kisses. Derek seemed bent on devouring her, his hands pulling at her hair, so that he could wrap it around his hands. Her head went back, and he kissed the column of her throat with increasing urgency._

_Finally, she pulled away from him, and they eyed each other, breathing hot and ragged. "I'm not sure how long we can keep doing this," she whispered, wiping the tears with the back of her hand. Her lips were bruised and swollen from his hard kisses, and he couldn't keep his eyes away from them._

_"Mer..."_

_She held her hand up to stop his words. "No, don't say anything right now. You keep promising that you'll stop drinking and you don't. I need some time to think..." Without another word, she turned and walked away from him.  
_


	6. Life Goes On

**Thank you all for the reviews and to all of you that are favoriting this story even if you haven't commented. I've come to understand that not everyone is comfortable leaving a review, and that's okay! This fic is somewhat more intense than my usual, and perhaps I should add a Kleenex alert for chapters that are portraying the fallout of Derek's drinking in the flashbacks. :)  
**

**So this chapter has a few different things going on with it, a couple glimpses into the goings on for other characters...I don't plan to do a lot of side-stories, but I think it's helpful to see some of their life as well.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Six  
Life Goes On  
**

By Monday morning, Meredith was still struggling to get Mia organized, and help her with getting the puppy outside to do his business. Hunter had left for work already, merely grabbing coffee and kissing her on the cheek on his way out the door, pleading a busy day and no time to waste. This was, of course, after he spent a lot of the weekend busy as well. She wondered sometimes just how he was being occupied, but she pushed that thought aside.

"You aren't taking him to school, Mia. He needs a routine and he needs to learn he can't pee in the house!" she said, after Mia tried to plead for taking Benji along to school.

"But he's gonna be lonely!"

"He needs to sleep, and he'll be safe in his crate while we're out. I'll be home in a couple hours to let him out, we'll just have to figure out a schedule that works, okay?" Meredith suggested, crouching down to look her daughter in the eye. The puppy wiggled his way inbetween them, his little tail wagging happily.

"Okay..." Mia sighed. "Can we take him for a walk after school?"

"We can try; guess it never hurts to start early. Now, you need to eat your breakfast, and get to school." Meredith scooped up the puppy, and guided Mia towards the table. Benji did his best to be cute and lovable, licking her chin, his warm little body snuggling against her trustingly. She had to admit, he was sweet and adorable, and she was grudgingly admitting it was a good idea to have him. Not that she was going to tell her husband that just yet.

"What about Derek? Can we ask him to help?" Mia looked up from her bowl of cereal, eyes bright with a solution to their problem. "Maybe he could puppy-sit!"

Meredith squeezed Benji involuntarily, She remembered how sweet Derek had been, helping with Benji, and for a moment she contemplated getting in touch with him, asking for some advice about the pup. Probably not one of her better ideas, still the image of him holding Benji was difficult to dismiss. What was it about men holding puppies that did something to a woman's good sense anyway?

"Well, I don't know...we can discuss that later," she finally hedged.

"But Mom..."

"Later, now eat..."

After breakfast, she drove through the morning traffic toward Mia's school, half listening to the radio, and the chatter from the back seat. One of the streets she normally took was blocked off, and she frowned at the detour. "What the hell...?" she muttered, trying to see what the problem was. There seemed to be large trucks at the entrance to the park, and she could see film crews milling about.

"Look Mom...it's Izzie Stevens!" Mia said excitedly, as Meredith drove slowly past the crowds.

"What? You know who she is?" Meredith looked in the rear view mirror, meeting Mia's eyes.

"Sure, all the girls in school think she's cool."

"Do you?"

Mia shrugged. "Not like you, Mom...but I know her songs, Sara plays 'em all the time..."

"I see..." Meredith muttered, thinking that Izzie's brand of country might be a little too risque for ten year olds. Then she caught sight of Izzie strutting along the sidewalk, wearing hot pants, boots and a bustier that left little to the imagination. Her backup dancers followed, clad in similar attire, and Meredith rolled her eyes. Somehow the new era of country music didn't impress her much, to quote Shania Twain. If this was what Alex wanted her to become, she wasn't having any part of it. She stepped on the accelerator, and drove away as quickly as she could.

* * *

"Meredith, we need to sit down with Karev again," Cristina said later that morning. "He says he's willing to negotiate, if we're willing to meet him halfway. Can you do this?"

"Why? I don't really need to tour, maybe I should just admit I'm not able to attract the younger crowd, and be done with it. I saw Izzie today, filming a video, and she looked like a hooker. That's not my image, Cris! I just want to sing, and make people feel something through the music...maybe it's time to retire."

"You can't retire! You still have a big following, and you can offer more than Izzie Stevens any day of the week. Look at Dolly or Vince, they're still out there performing and doing what they love. Don't let Karev keep you from that."

"You really know how to be persuasive."

"Again, that's what you pay me for, but I'm also your friend, right? I want you to do what's best for you, Meredith. You love to perform, right?"

"You're right, more than anything..."

"Then we'll do it on your terms. He can't argue with that."

"Okay, fine. I'll listen to what he has to say, but I"m not promising anything. Hunter's already not happy about me touring, with the election coming up."

"Mer, since when did you become the arm candy for that ass?" Cristina scoffed. It was no secret to Meredith that Cristina didn't care for Hunter. "You have the bigger career in this relationship, don't you think?"

"Just trying to keep things peaceful."

"As always, Mer, between Hunter and your father you leave nothing for yourself. Maybe you need to do what_ you_ want this time."

"Let's wait and see what Alex says, all right?"

"Fine, just giving you the benefit of my wisdom," Cristina replied, and Meredith could hear the smirk in her voice. "See you at Storm..."

Shaking her head, Meredith set the phone aside, and looked down at Benji who was busy with a chew toy. "What do you think, Benji?" she asked, kneeling beside him. "I know, you have no idea what I'm talking about. You just want your tummy rubbed! Life is pretty simple from your perspective, isn't it?" She indulged his pleading look, rubbing the soft fur on his tummy. If only everything was as simple.

* * *

A short time later, they were ushered into Alex's office. This time he was standing at the large windows, looking out at the city, hands in the pockets of his trousers. He turned around at the sound of them entering, and he grinned widely. "Ah, nice to see you've returned. Have a seat, can I get you a drink or coffee?"

"Nothing right now, just cut to the chase," Cristina said, sitting down beside Meredith.

"I trust you decided that we can discuss this calmly."

"Of course we can, so long as you see things our way."

"That doesn't sound like meeting in the middle."

"You know that Meredith is your label's biggest name. Don't pretend she doesn't have a say in how this plays out."

Alex nodded, but a sly grin kicked up his mouth. "Sure, but I think she might want to consider this suggestion...I met Derek Shepherd the other night at the Bluebird...his guitar work is good, and I know you have a history together. I _was_ thinking he could play guitar for Izzie, but it might be even better if you two could perform together...just like old times. What do you think about that idea, Meredith?"

"What? Are you serious?"

"Oh come on, Meredith. You two were hot together back in the day, I've done my research. If you don't want to tour with Izzie, then we can work something out to have an intimate duo tour with you and Shepherd. Think of the possibilities!"

"It's not a good idea," Meredith said quietly. "You can't drag him into this."

"Why not? If you're not going to sell out big stadiums, this would be the perfect thing. Smaller audiences, more intimate settings with an acoustic sound! From what I understand, you two wrote some amazing love songs together, you could reprise all of that..."

Meredith sucked in a breath. "It worked then, because we were in love...we haven't been together in over ten years...it's not the same. You can't ask us to sing love songs to each other now, that's just wrong on so many levels."

"What if he agrees to it?"

"He's not going to agree."

"Are you so sure about that?"

"Yes."

Alex smirked, and checked his watch. "Well, I have a meeting with him after this, so maybe he'll be more eager to do this than you think. A man's got to eat, after all."

"He can't possibly..." Meredith said in shock.

"Think about my offer," Alex said, getting to his feet indicating the meeting was over. "I'll be in touch."

"You're such an ass," Cristina said. "This isn't what we discussed on the phone."

"I changed my mind...sue me."

* * *

At that moment, Derek was not even close to attending a meeting with Alex. In fact, he wasn't even aware that his name was being thrown out there to provoke Meredith. He was in his backyard, splitting some wood to keep his mind off of her. After ten years, he thought he should be able to deal with it, but as soon as he'd looked in her eyes and inhaled that familiar lavender scent of hers, he was lost again.

Richard had advised him to keep busy, until they could get together one on one and the pile of wood was a good distraction. He swung the axe furiously, making the logs fly into pieces, while Max watched cautiously from the deck, nearly covering his eyes with his paws.

By the time he finished, the pile of wood had been reduced in size and his t-shirt was soaked with sweat. He rubbed a hand over his face, and went to sit on the deck beside Max. "It's okay, I'm done..." he sighed. "Not that it helped, but we'll have plenty of firewood, I guess...damnit, I could use a beer right now..."

Max cocked one eye upwards, and Derek sighed. "Yeah, yeah...bad idea..." After being sober for five years, taking a drink was the last thing he should do. He got to his feet and headed inside, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat away. He opened the fridge and snatched up a bottle of water, downing it quickly to slake his thirst. The craving for alcohol was always there, insinuating as a snake inside his body. It was a feeling he would have to deal with for the rest of his life.

Of course he had always meant it when he'd promised Meredith he wouldn't drink again, but good intentions never worked out that way. Whiskey had been a good friend when he was feeling low, or feeling like he wasn't good enough for Meredith. He'd needed the warmth that infused him after a few shots, until a few shots wasn't enough, and he needed more to keep him going. Oblivion had become his crutch on more than one occasion...

_Derek was lost in a fog of whiskey, seated at the bar at the Bluebird, with Mark on the barstool next to him. It was two nights after his fight with Meredith, and true to her word she had kept her distance from him. It hurt like hell, knowing she was avoiding him._

_"__One more?" Mark asked, holding up his glass. _

_"__I think...I think I should go..." Derek muttered, trying to look at his watch. "Mer's mad enough already..."_

_"__Hell, then we can do whatever we want! I know this waitress here who has the most amazing..." Mark said with a suggestive grin before Derek shook his head._

_"__No, not doing that to her. I'm an ass for drinking, and I accused her of fooling around with Hunter..." Derek regarded his empty glass morosely.  
_

_"__Your loss, Shep. I'm not tied to one woman, so you can stay here and drink..." Mark stood up, a little unsteadily, and clapped Derek on the shoulder. "While I, on the other hand...can go and party. Sure you won't join us?"_

_Derek closed his eyes, conjuring up the mental image of Meredith when they were happier, her eyes shining as they sang together. He couldn't understand why he kept fucking up, drinking when he'd promised not to. He didn't want any other girl, he just wanted Meredith. No matter what else happened, he wasn't about to cheat on her. Hunching over the bar, he waved Mark away, and held his glass up for another. Drinking wouldn't help, but at least he wouldn't feel any pain._

His cell phone rang then and he returned to the present, shaking off the memory of past heartache. Thankfully, it was Richard, just in time. "I really need to talk to you," he said, after they'd exchanged greetings. "I was just standing here, wishing I had a drink."

"Then it's good that I called. Seeing Meredith really set you off, didn't it?" Richard's voice was calm and knowing.

"Yeah, thinking about the past," Derek admitted.

"You knew this might be a problem. I'm free for a late lunch, let's meet somewhere we can talk privately. I have to sign some paperwork for the mayoral race, but I can meet you in an hour."

"Thanks, I know how busy you are these days."

"I'm not too busy to talk to you. That's part of the deal, you know. No one can do this alone," Richard reminded him.

Derek nodded, and they made plans to meet at a coffee shop far away from The Bluebird, and the temptations it might hold for him.

* * *

Hunter sat behind his desk, and watched as April crossed the office towards him, paperwork in hand. "Here, you need to sign these," she told him, setting it down in front of him. "This is to cover that money transfer."

"Thank god, I'd hate to have anyone discover the funds were missing from that account," he commented, scrawling his signature across the bottom of the page. "Especially now that I'm officially in the mayoral race…."

April nodded, gathering the paperwork again, before resting one hip against the edge of his desk. "So, about that…are you serious that we can't see each other now?"

"April, you know I'm serious. I have to be the loving husband, the perfect example of good old American values. I can't have a lover on the side, no matter how much I might want to. Trust me, okay?" He rested his hand on her leg, exposed by the way her skirt rode up as she shifted against the desk. Too many amorous encounters had started just this way between them, and while he didn't regret it, he knew it was the wise thing to do to end it now. His marriage to Meredith might not have been a match made in heaven, but he thought he had done his best by her just the same. He couldn't blow it now.

"You are so far removed from the good old boy image, Hunter," she sighed, leaning in to run her fingers over his chest, flicking his tie out of the way. "You know you like to be dirty and under-handed instead. And I know just how to make you happy, please don't push me away." Her fingers moved lower, and he tipped back in the chair, letting her continue.

"Did you lock the door behind you?" he demanded, unable to resist just one more time.

"What d'you think?" she purred.

* * *

Izzie rolled over in bed, and looked at the man beside her, propping her chin against his chest. "Tell me again how this plan is supposed to make Meredith want to tour with me?"

"Don't worry about it, I have it under control. You just have to show up and sing."

Pouting slightly, she flipped her hair back. "I'm more than just a pretty face, you know. I want to write my own songs, and be taken seriously. Pop country is okay, but it's not going to make me a big star..."

"Sure, you can do that later, baby...for now, just let me handle things..."

"Alex..." she sighed, but then her cell phone rang, and she grabbed it in irritation. "What? Oh god, tell me you're kidding? She can't come in...I'll be right there!"

"What is it?"

Izzie sat up and grabbed her robe quickly, leaving him looking at her in confusion. "It's the security guard at the gate." Her condo was in a gated community, with a guard to keep an eye on any over eager fans that might be trying to ambush her.

"So who's here? Some stalker fan?"

"Worse, it's my mother..."

"Wait, didn't you tell us that your mother is dead?"

Izzie's mouth tightened. "I said she's not with me, not dead. She's an addict and she's only after money. I keep telling her to leave me alone, and she keeps showing up."

"That's a problem." Alex rubbed a hand over his face. "D'you want me to deal with her?"

"No, god no...I can handle this." Izzie stormed away from the bedroom. Alex flopped back against the pillows, frowning. Just what he needed, another damn complication.

* * *

Derek fiddled with the coffee cup in front of him. He felt calmer now, sitting across from Richard. "Thank you for being here," he said. "I was so close to going to buy something, anything, to drink. Seeing her reminded me so much of what I did to her, all the crap I put her through."

"Feeling sorry for yourself?"

"What? Well, maybe a little."

"Are you keeping busy?"

Blowing out an exasperated breath, Derek eyed his sponsor. "Of course – I split a whole shitload of wood today. We better have a cold winter in order to use it all."

"Splitting wood isn't exactly the best use of your talents. You should be doing what you do best, preferably somewhere besides the Bluebird. Do you have any job offers on the horizon?" Richard finished his coffee, and accepted a refill from the waitress. "How about some pie, Derek? I could certainly use a piece of that lemon meringue I saw on the counter."

"Sure, why not?"

"Good, Adele has me on this damn diet, but a man's got to have dessert sometimes," Richard grumbled, once the waitress had left to fetch two slices of pie. "Now, about the job prospects?"

"Well, actually I met the new president of Storm Records the other night. He said if was interested I could play guitar for Izzie Stevens on tour."

"That's great..."

"Not so fast, Meredith is supposed to be on the same tour."

"Hmph...not so great. Maybe there's something else you can do."

"I'm not in a hurry, I do have some money socked away. I don't have to rush into anything."

"Good. I have a few contacts around town, let me see if I can find something else suitable," Richard said, nodding decisively. "If nothing else, I know there's a mayoral fundraiser coming up that you could perform at if you want. It would help get you in front of a lot of influential people."

"Thanks, Richard. I appreciate all of the help."

"I've been in your shoes, Derek, and it's my way of paying back my debt. One day you can do the same thing."

"I hope so, I sure don't think I'd be of help to anyone right now," Derek noted, just as the waitress returned with their dessert.

"You didn't drink today, and that's the main thing. Don't get down on yourself, we all have moments of weakness but it does get better," Richard said, picking up his fork. "Now, let's enjoy this pie, and don't tell Adele."

Derek smiled. "Not a word."

* * *

**Not to worry dear readers, there will be more MerDer interaction soon, I hope you can continue to be patient!  
**


	7. Between Heartbreak & Revival

**Sadly, at the time of this update, Shonda has shafted all of us MerDer fans by killing Derek, and I can't believe she actually went there. Even though I wasn't watching anymore, it's still such a slap in the face to those of us fans who supported the MerDer romance from the beginning. And while the characters are hers to do with as she pleases, I've been writing about McDreamy almost since the beginning and I feel like he's a little bit mine too. Actually, he belongs to all of us, and I truly hate how she's ended his story so abruptly. May he rest in peace in GA heaven, enjoying a glass of Scotch with Mark and being reunited with all of the other sadly departed characters (of which there are way too many).  
**

** I'm feeling a little depressed; thank god for fanfic.  
**

**As for this story, thank you all again for the reviews, and your thoughts. I get that you are all on the 'I hate Hunter' train, but you will soon discover the reason Meredith married him! This chapter will likely be worthy of a Kleenex alert as far as the flashbacks go, so consider yourselves warned. And I do appreciate that y'all are hanging in there despite the heartbreak, and with circumstances being what they are on the show, I may need to bring a little more happiness into things sooner than I planned.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7  
Between Heartbreak &amp; Revival  
**

_I've got a voice and I've made a choice between heartbreak and revival_

Meredith looked over at Hunter, as he joined her in the kitchen later that evening. Mia was already in bed, played out after chasing Benji. They had been able to get the puppy outside a couple of times successfully, and a couple of times they'd been too late. They both seriously underestimated the size of his bladder, but Meredith swore he was doing it on purpose. Maybe she needed to take up Mia's suggestion and ask Derek for pointers on puppies.

For now, she waited until Hunter poured a glass of wine, and sat down at the table, his phone in his hand before she said anything. "Alex suggested that I should tour with Derek, like an intimate acoustic thing," she said quickly, thinking that there wasn't any point in beating around the bush.

"Excuse me? Did I hear you right?" Hunter set his phone aside and looked at her in surprise.

"Got your attention, didn't it? Sorry to throw that out there, but it was kind of out of the blue for me too." Meredith was still trying to process the idea, and she swirled the wine in her own glass as she waited for him to say something else.

"You aren't seriously contemplating this, are you? Is he even in a condition to tour?"

"Quite honestly, I don't know. He's back in Nashville, though, I saw him the other day. He seemed okay." Meredith thought Derek had looked better than okay, but she didn't add that to her statement.

"You saw him? When was this?"

"At the pet store, after you went to the office," she said shortly, resenting his tone.

"So he's back here, and already being courted to sing with you," Hunter observed dryly, grasping his glass to take a drink. "Does Karev know what kind of history you have?"

"Apparently so, and he said he wants to use that to sell tickets. Cristina thinks that this is just a ploy to get me to tour with Izzie instead. Choice of two evils and all..."

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to tour with Shepherd one on one. That's a past you left behind, you don't need to revisit it," Hunter said firmly. "He left you in a bad place, and I don't want him to stir things up again."

Meredith closed her eyes, willing away the memories. "I know, but..."

"You're my wife, Meredith. I was the one who picked up the pieces after he left you broken," he said, taking her hand.

She squeezed his hand in return. "I know, it wouldn't be right and I told Alex that. I'm sure he would be happy for me give in to tour with Izzie. He wins."

"It's not giving in, it's being smart. I just don't understand why you need to go at all."

Meredith looked at him over the rim of her glass. "I love to perform, Hunter, that's part of me that I can't deny and that you knew about me when you married me. And it's part of what I need to do to keep my fans happy. I'm sure I'll have days to swing home and attend some functions with you. Thatcher will be sure to give you all the support you need in my absence. I really do want to get back on stage again."

"If that's what you need, I'm not going to fight about it," Hunter surprised her by saying. "Better that you do the tour with Izzie; Shepherd burned his bridges with you a long time ago. You don't want to open up that part of your past to the media scrutiny, think of the damage it could do. Not just for your sake, think of Mia..."

"I know..." Meredith sighed, and sipped her wine again. It had always been about Mia...

_Meredith held the little plastic test indicator in her hand, staring at the positive sign; there was no use in denying the truth, she was pregnant. Since this was the third time she'd done the test, it was obvious that it wasn't a false result. Somehow she hadn't anticipated this, and her heart thudded in her chest, wondering what she was going to do. How was she going to tell Derek he was going to be a father? Sinking to the floor, she rested her forehead her knees. _

_After the fight at The Bluebird, she had managed to keep some distance from Derek, despite knowing that he felt remorseful. He called her constantly, promising that he would stop drinking, until she relented. A couple of months went by, and she was torn between loving Derek, and hating the way he was throwing his life away, There would be good times, when his mood was better, and they spent that time writing a few songs, ending up in bed like nothing was wrong. She loved those times, just the two of them, snuggled under the faded quilt his mother had made years ago. And he would swear again he was staying sober, inspired to write music and support whatever she wanted to do._

_Yet he hadn't been able to keep that promise. Most of her days were spent in the recording studio with Liam, working on the CD. She and Derek weren't there together much, as the tracks were being laid down separately, and he found that he needed to spend time with Mark when she was busy. _

_She began dreading the return home in the evening, knowing they would fight, and nothing would be resolved. Sometimes she stopped to visit with her father, and Hunter would be there as well. Despite her initial impressions of him, he was unfailingly easy-going and laid back, offering to listen whenever he sensed her frustration level was high. He seemed to respect the boundary she had set, and she came to think of him as a friend. As the days went by, she grew increasingly tired and she felt nauseous, unable to eat much. She blamed it on the stress of work and dealing with Derek's drinking. Obviously, that wasn't the case.  
_

_Stashing the home pregnancy test away in the back of the cupboard, she decided to keep the revelation to herself for the moment. She would have to find the right moment to tell Derek, and yet, no time seemed to be right as his drinking escalated and his mood turned darker.  
_

_"__You need help, Derek," she told him, as he stumbled into the kitchen the morning after another late night. "Please, you can't go on like this..."_

_"__I'm fine, all right? Don't nag me about it!" Derek slammed the fridge door shut after grabbing a beer from the shelf. "You have your career, I'm just the guitar player."_

_The familiar refrain made her snap. "Stop it! You're more than that, and you know it. Liam says..."_

_Derek glared at her, cutting her off. "Liam is an ass, and he wants to screw you."_

_"__What? Are you insane?"_

_"__I can see the way he looks at you; he doesn't hide it, even when I'm there." He tipped the bottle up and took a long pull at it. "Or maybe that asshole Hunter will be willing to jump into bed with you. You spend enough time with him. God, Meredith, I thought you had better taste."_

_"__Don't you dare lecture me about who I spend my time with, Derek. You don't seem to want to be around much," she reminded him. She had made the mistake of mentioning Hunter's name on a few occasions, and it was obviously eating at Derek._

_He set the empty beer bottle on the counter with a sharp crack. "So maybe I should just back the fuck out of your life altogether, and you can pick one of them instead! You must love having these guys falling all over you!"_

_"__I don't want anyone else." She rested her hand on her abdomen reflexively, still unable to tell him about the baby. He wouldn't listen in his present condition. _

_"__I'm no good for you, Meredith," he muttered, turning away from her. "Do whatever you want, but this isn't working."_

_"__What? Derek, please…I love you…" She hurried after him, but he threw her hand off his arm as he stalked towards the bedroom. He slammed the door shut, leaving her standing there confused and upset. Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she couldn't move for a few minutes, unable to believe what was happening. Moving stiffly, she walked back to the kitchen, and picked up the phone. _

_"__Dad...I need to come home for awhile..." she said quietly, once Thatcher answered. "Please don't ask me any questions right now, all right? And don't say 'I told you so'..."_

_"__You're always welcome here, Meredith. I'm not going to ask any questions, except when will you be here?"_

_Meredith took a deep breath. "Soon." She closed her eyes again, fighting off the tears that threatened to spill again. If it weren't for the baby, she could deal with Derek's moods and his drinking, but she had to think ahead. Once he calmed down and got in control of his inner demons, she could come home and they could make a plan for the future. She just wasn't sure when that would be…_

* * *

Meredith surveyed the suitcases on her bed, trying to decide what exactly she should take along on tour. The majority of her on stage outfits would be packed separately and sent on ahead, this was just her personal stuff. She should be accustomed to this process after all this time, but she still couldn't focus on the job.

Mia bounced into the bedroom, with Benji at her heels. "Mom, how long will you be away?"

"Well, for a couple of weeks at first, and then I think I can come home for a few days before we go again."

"Oh, that's a long time."

"I know, sweetie, but you have Daddy and Benji...and Grampa said you need to go visit him." Meredith sat on the bed, and put her arm around Mia. "You won't even miss me!"

"Yes I will. It's not the same, Daddy doesn't make my lunch the same as you do." Mia looked up. "Why d'you need to leave?"

"Part of my job, Mia, but I'll think about you every day!"

"You're going with Izzie, right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Can you get her autograph for Sara? She keeps bugging me, now she knows about the tour," Mia sighed, sounding wise beyond her years.

"Sure, I'll do my best."

"Okay. We can talk on Skype too, right?"

"Honey, you know more about that than I do," Meredith laughed. "But if your father can coordinate the whole thing, then sure, we can do some on line calls too." Her cell phone rang then, and she picked it up from the night stand. "This is Cristina, I need to talk to her."

"Kay...I need to take Benji outside anyway!" Mia bounced off the bed, and hurried away, leaving Meredith to answer the call.

"What's up, Cristina?"

"I think it's time we had that heart to heart discussion. I'm coming over, with tequila."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Derek Shepherd, and you need to tell me all about your past relationship with him."

"Um, okay...why now?" Meredith held up another couple of sweaters, trying to choose between them.

"Because evil spawn Karev just told me that Derek is joining the tour as lead guitarist in the backup band for Izzie."

Meredith sat down on the bed, her legs suddenly shaky. "I can't believe this. I tell Alex I'm doing the tour with Izzie, like he wanted, and now he does this? What the hell is going on?"

"I'm not sure, but before we hit the road, I need to know all the gory details, okay? I'll be there in half an hour."

"Sure, okay. Hunter's not home anyway, so we can talk."

Once she set the phone aside, she rubbed her fingers over her temples tiredly. If Derek really was going to take a job on the tour, despite her best efforts to avoid the situation she was going to be thrown into seeing him every day. She snatched up her phone again, and called Alex's office. She needed Derek's phone number and she sweet-talked Alex's secretary into giving it to her. If Cristina's news was true, Meredith needed to hear it from Derek and find out what the hell was going on.

* * *

Derek set his guitar case on the bed, next to the suitcase. Max laid on the floor, and rested his head on his paws, watching with interest. "Now, you can't go along with me," Derek commented. "Mark will be looking after you, and you need to behave, all right?" Thankfully, Mark had agreed to look after Max, so that Derek could take this job. Something he still wasn't sure he should be doing, but after several phone calls and discussions, in the end Alex had made the offer one that he couldn't refuse without looking like a complete fool. Then again, maybe he was a fool, for putting himself into Meredith's proximity. Obviously, it was a no-win situation, he would just need to be an adult about it, and avoid being alone with her. He could do that, right?

After Richard had talked to him, he was reminded that he was still just taking things one day at a time, and it would always be that way. He still needed to apologize to Meredith, and make amends, as part of the recovery program but it had been difficult to take that step.

Then his phone rang, and it was almost a sense of déjà vu to see the caller ID display indicate it was her. Or at least he assumed it was her, since it showed _Conrad, H_. in the call display. He really doubted that Hunter was phoning him. "Hello?"

"Derek..." Her voice was slightly uncertain.

"Meredith...I'm not really surprised you're calling, I take it you've heard the news?"

"I just heard about you joining the tour. Should I say welcome, or should I question your sanity? After everything we've been through, do you really think that's a good idea?"

"It's just a job, I think we can be adult about the situation."

"But we're going to be thrown together, you know what it's like on tour, Derek."

"I'm in Izzie's back up band, and I'm sure our paths won't cross that much. I promise to keep out of your way."

"That isn't the point! I told Alex I wouldn't tour with just you on some acoustic remembrance thing, just to give in and tour with Izzie, and now you're on the tour too. This is just not going to work, Derek..." Meredith paused for breath. "Damnit, I'm rambling, and I hate that."

"What kind of acoustic thing are you talking about?"

"You mean Alex didn't have a meeting with you about us reprising some of our old love songs?"

"Not at all," Derek said firmly, sensing this was important.

"That devious ass..." Meredith muttered. "He led me to believe you were going to accept a proposal to tour with me alone, just so I would go along with the other idea. I hate that man!"

"Look, I can tell him I changed my mind, if it's going to cause problems. He just made the deal kind of hard to say no to."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"If it makes you feel better, I'm not drinking. I've been sober for five years now," he said, finally able to tell her. "It took me awhile to get my act together, I admit, and I apologize for everything I did to hurt you. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm just telling you how it is. It's not easy, but I'm doing the best I can."

"Oh god, Derek, thank you for telling me, I'm sure it wasn't easy. I'm glad you were able to get the help you needed and that you're in a better place now. You deserve a chance to get the recognition for your work," Meredith said quietly. "Look, maybe we can work together and be friends, of a sort, on tour. We can deal with this."

"Sure, friends..." he replied, scrubbing one hand over his jaw. Maybe he should have his head examined. How did you just be friends with the woman you'd loved and then lost? And were obviously still in love with? "Mer..." he started to say, but then he could hear the puppy barking in the background on her end. "Hey, how's the pup doing?" he asked instead, on safer ground with that topic.

"Oh, it's been a little crazy. We're getting to be experts at pee cleanup," Meredith laughed softly, and he could just picture her eyes sparkling, and that little scrunch of her nose. "Maybe you could offer us some advice before we head out on the road, so that Mia can work on getting him better house-trained."

"I'd be happy to, just let me know when and where," he found himself saying.

"Good, that's good..." Meredith said quickly. "Look, I have to get going, Mia's waving at me to help her with Benji, and I'm sure you have things to do."

"Good luck, I'll try to think of what I did with Max when he was a puppy."

They ended the call, and he paced across the floor, shaking his head. Hearing her voice, her laughter, talking about her daughter all made him realize again what he lost, and that he only had himself to blame. He wondered if she felt anything at all for him now, or was she just being polite, talking about being friends?

* * *

_Derek lifted his head from the pillow warily, anticipating the dull throb of his headache behind his eyes and the sour taste in his mouth. The hangover from hell seemed to be the new normal, and he rolled over, rubbing his temple. The house was dark and eerily quiet, and he squinted at the bedside clock. It was late in the afternoon, wasn't Meredith was supposed to be home? Then their big fight came back to him, and he groaned at the remembrance of what he'd said to her. _

_He pushed himself off the bed, and stumbled into the bathroom. It took a moment to realize that her toiletries were gone from the counter, and his gut tightened in concern. Another search determined that her closet was empty, and he felt a hollow feeling that matched the empty hangers. It might have been his imagination, but it seemed like a faint lavender scent still hung in the air, mocking him as a cruel reminder of her presence_

_Derek slumped to the floor, burying his head in his hands. What had he done?_


	8. Secrets & Lies

**I thank you all for the reviews to the last chapter, despite the sadness of the flashback. Yes, I am going to carry on with the story, at least fanfic is a place where we can still enjoy what Shonda has decided to take away from us. As another writer has pointed out to me, we would never treat the characters like that, we want the MerDer romance to continue in all shapes and forms until they're old and grey (pardon the pun). **

**Now for this chapter, there's another flashback, which will likely be the last one, since it fills in some of the remaining bits. Again, it might require a Kleenex alert.**

* * *

**Chapter 8  
Secrets &amp; Lies  
**

Derek surveyed his half-finished packing, and raked a hand through his hair. There was no point in continuing at the moment, he had to get out of the house and talk to someone. "Be back in a bit, Max..." he said, ruffling the dog's fur. "Guard the house." He grabbed his keys and headed outside, and without thinking about it much, found himself at The Bluebird.

He cut through the evening crowd, taking a seat at the bar where Mark looked at him in concern. "You look like crap."

"Hello to you too, Mark, and thanks for the uninvited observation."

"I've known you long enough to tell you the truth. And I've seen you look pretty bad in the past."

"Just bring me a coffee, all right?"

"So you're serious about this non drinking thing?" Mark asked, setting a mug of coffee in front of Derek.

"It's always a challenge, but tonight..."

"Don't tell me, let me guess...you told Meredith about the tour?"

"She heard, she called me..."

"Ah, well don't pretend like I didn't tell you it wasn't a good idea," Mark pointed out. "The history between the two of you would make most men keep a healthy distance."

"I know, I know...but we can be adult about it, and just be friends," Derek said firmly, recalling his conversation with her. She was right, they had to be that way.

"Uh huh, you believe that, do you?"

"I have to."

"I remember clearly what a mess you were back in the day, and when she left you I thought you were going to kill yourself with whiskey. Why do you want to torture yourself?"

"Because it was my fault she left me, Mark. I was a mess, and even then it took me a few years to get my shit together and do some rehab." Derek took a sip of coffee. "Unlike you, who seemed to be able to pull yourself into a better place."

Mark grinned, surveying the evening staff that was dealing with the crush of people waiting for the first act to get on stage. "I admit, I'm doing okay, but I've had my share of ups and downs."

"I suppose drinking with me was one of the downs," Derek observed, raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was, but I was a willing participant if you recall. And after you left town, I was spending my share of time between several girlfriends until I realized that Addison was the only one I wanted to be with."

Derek felt a twinge of jealousy over Mark's stable marriage. He had dated a few other women over the years, but none of them made him feel the way Meredith did. Maybe he really was a one-woman man; the problem was she was with another man.

"Well, I'm glad you have that, and I still can't quite believe that you're going to be a father soon."

"Yeah, it's kind of a shock to me too, we certainly weren't planning on it!" Mark grinned happily. "Addison is going to be a great mother, and I'll just do my best to help out. Having to look after your dog for awhile is going to be a good start."

"Hey, Max is well trained, housebroken and doesn't need diaper changes."

"Good point. Are you singing tonight? There's a couple empty spots on the program. Might do you good to get on stage again, prepare for the tour. They loved you last time."

"I don't know..."

"C'mon, I have it on good authority that Ms Izzie Stevens herself might be stopping in later. You need to meet her before you hit the road, she's quite a handful that one."

"I've seen pictures, and we've had some set run throughs...it's pop country, but easy enough to play backup for."

Mark nodded. "She won't win any awards, but girls love her. Too bad they're not old enough to drink, or we'd pack them in wall to wall when she's here."

"I'll stick around for awhile, be interesting to see what she's like," Derek said. "Not making any promises about singing, though..."

* * *

Meredith sat with Cristina in front of the fireplace. The bottle of tequila sat on the coffee table, along with the shot glasses, but they hadn't really consumed much of it. She seldom drank more than a couple glasses of wine, after dealing with Derek's drinking, and they had spent most of the time talking.

"So you and Derek were the golden couple of rising country stars, but you were the one who got the record deal," Cristina commented, leaning back against the sofa cushions, after hearing the short version of the past.

"I suppose we were to begin with, but the record deal made it all fall apart slowly," Meredith agreed, hugging a cushion against her. "I wish I could go back and do things differently. I mean, Derek had his chances too, Eddie always wanted him to do more, but Derek had his insecurity issues to deal with. "

"What the hell would you change? He was an alcoholic, and you did the right thing. Look around you...this house, this life you have, it wouldn't be the same if you'd stayed with him. You have a marriage that seems stable, and an awesome kid..." Cristina raised her shot glass in a toast. "You're a country icon!"

"Oh god, Cristina! You make it sound like I'm ready for sainthood. I had my share of bad behavior too, things that I'm not proud of."

"Look, I was hired as your manager just when you were starting out, and now you're up there among the rest of the big stars, don't sell yourself short. You just need to remember that, and don't get involved with your long lost lover."

"He's not just a long lost lover...he's Mia's father," Meredith admitted, eying Cristina to see what her reaction was.

"Holy shit..." Cristina's eyebrows shot up dramatically. "Does he know?"

Meredith twisted a stand of hair, hesitating. "No, he doesn't. That's one of the things I'm not proud of. It just seemed like the best way to deal with it at the time. I was pregnant when I married Hunter, he adopted her at birth. Hunter might not be the best husband, but I had to make the decision to do what was right for my baby, even if it meant walking away from Derek."

_When Meredith arrived at Thatcher's with her suitcases, she intended to take a week or so to let Derek cool off before telling him about the baby. She immersed herself in finishing the CD, and kept the knowledge secret, waiting for the right moment. Their paths didn't cross much during that period, and she was partly thankful and partly distressed over it. After the second week, Liam told her that Derek had showed up for some recording sessions, but he'd been hungover and surly to the rest of the band. On his last appearance, his usually stellar guitar work was not in evidence, and Liam had to tell him to get his act together or leave the studio. Derek had walked out, slamming his guitar against the floor as he stormed away._

_The news left Meredith in tears, and she tried to phone him, but he wasn't answering any calls. When she stopped at the house, she found the place deserted, and several discarded whiskey bottles littered the floor and coffee table. Empty beer bottles lined the kitchen counter, and several dishes had been thrown against the wall, leaving scattered bits of pottery strewn on the floor. _

_She was about to leave, when Derek walked through the front door, carrying a bottle in his hand. Her breath caught, as she took in his appearance. Clearly drunk, with a thick scruff of beard and his hair in a tangle of black curls, he sank down onto the sofa. "Meredith…what are you doing here?" he muttered. His words slurred, and she could see how bloodshot his eyes were, even a few feet away from him. _

_"I just wanted to see how you were doing. I heard about what happened at the recording studio."_

_"Oh I bet you did! Old Liam couldn't wait to tell you!" Derek leveled an accusing finger at her. "Has he talked you into bed yet?"  
_

_"No! Of course not, Derek." Meredith twisted her hands together, suddenly wishing she was anywhere but here. It was silly, this was the man she'd loved for so long, and yet he was a complete stranger to her now. "Look, I should just go. This isn't the time…" She made a start towards the door as she spoke._

_Taking a swallow from the bottle before setting it down, Derek managed to get to his feet. "Mer, wait…don't go, please. I need you…"_

_"Then stop drinking, and get some help Derek. You're hurting yourself more than anything right now. If you want me to help I'm sure we can find a good rehab program, or some counselling…" _

_"Don't need help, I can handle it," he muttered. "Just you, Mer, need you…" He swayed a little unsteadily, and she grabbed his arm before his knees buckled and he dropped to the sofa again. His eyes closed, and she realized he'd passed out cold. With a little sigh, she covered him with the afghan and moved the whiskey bottle out of reach. _

_"I need you too, Derek, but not like this," she whispered, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry…" _

_Later that evening, Thatcher found her huddled on her bed, staring bleakly at the wall. "Meredith, you need to tell me the truth," he said quietly. "I know we haven't been close since Ellis died, but I'm willing to listen. Shepherd's not worth this kind of angst, you need to move on with your life."_

_Unable to stop the tears that spilled again, Meredith turned to look at her father. "I'm pregnant, Dad. And Derek's not in any condition to be a father, what am I going to do?"_

_"Let me take care of you, Meredith. I'll fix this…"_

* * *

"You wanted the whole story, so now you have it," Meredith sighed.

"Wait, your father arranged the whole marriage? How the hell do marry your daughter off like that?" Cristina asked. "It wasn't the 1950's for god's sake!"

"Cris, I know you didn't grow up in Nashville, but believe me...in a lot of ways the country music scene was and still is to some degree, rather moralistic. I was just starting out, being a single mom wouldn't have helped my image," Meredith explained. "It wasn't the wedding I'd been dreaming of, obviously, but I knew I had to make it work."

_Meredith looked at her reflection in the mirror, adjusting the fit of the simple white suit jacket she wore. Instinctively she rested her palm over her abdomen, thinking of the baby. She wasn't showing yet, and the stress of the last month had taken its toll on her appetite so that she had likely lost weight, if anything. Her doctor had chided her on the last visit to make sure and eat, but between the morning sickness and the heartache over Derek, she just couldn't force anything down most days._

_But this was her wedding day, she was marrying Hunter Conrad, and she had to keep the thought in mind that this was good for everyone involved. Thatcher had been very supportive, and he helped her to see that she needed to do this. Hunter was stable, and had a good future ahead of him; he would be the perfect husband and father. In some ways, Nashville and the country music community could be very old-fashioned. Unwed mothers were rare in the industry, and the gossip might prove impossible to overcome. You could drink, have affairs, and get divorced, but babies out of wedlock were another matter altogether, it seemed._

_Hunter was fully aware of her situation, and still agreed to the idea, for reasons Meredith couldn't really understand. Maybe he just felt sorry for her, or maybe he just needed a wife for his own reasons. Yet she couldn't fault his understanding and his unfailing support, so maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. _

_She twisted the engagement ring on her finger, thinking of the moment he'd slipped it on her finger. It had been at dinner, some intimate place, and he had surprised her with it. There had been a look of possession in his eyes as he took her hand, and the kiss he gave her after was just as claiming. Sometimes she looked at it and felt it was less of a business deal, and more of a real love match. Even so, they hadn't shared more than a few kisses since then, and he hadn't pressured her about anything more intimate. _

_She couldn't deny she enjoyed his company, but it was far from the marriage she'd dreamed about. Was it wrong to marry someone you didn't love? Now she would be in his bed tonight, as his wife, and she had no idea how that would go. Derek had been her first and only boyfriend; she'd never been with anyone else._

_There was a soft tap at the door, and then Thatcher came into the room. "Are you ready, Meredith? You look lovely." He kissed her cheek, and gave her a quick hug. _

_"I think so."_

_"Honey, it's too late for having second thoughts. You want to give your baby a good life, and marrying Hunter is going to do that. And your career will take off, and you'll have everything you ever dreamed of," he said persuasively. "Trust me, Meredith. I told you I would take care of everything. You know you can't marry Shepherd; he's unstable and he's got a lot of demons to deal with. His drinking would cause you more heartache down the road, and you can't have an alcoholic for a father to your baby. I hope you realize that."_

_"I do, Dad, and I'm being grown up about this. I have more to worry about than me now. It's just a little part of me that still hurts; I thought Derek was always going to be part of my life. Ever since we were in school...music was something we had that drew us together." _

_"I know, baby, but sometimes things don't turn out the way you think. I imagined that your mother would be here with us longer, and then some drunk driver changed all that. I want you to be happy, just give it some time," he told her, before glancing at his watch. "It's almost time to leave."_

_"Then we should go, I'll be fine." _

_"Just wait, I want to give you something that belonged to Ellis." He pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket and opened it for her. She blinked, seeing the gleam of gems set in warm gold. "I gave her these earrings on our last anniversary before her death, she loved them."_

_"They're gorgeous." She picked them out of the box, and the light caught the brilliant emerald cut blue topaz stones, accented with tiny diamonds. "I'll wear them today, something old and new, even blue, kind of covers most of the talismans." She turned to the mirror, and quickly exchanged the ones she had on for the new ones. With her hair pulled back, she admired them for a moment, before looking back to Thatcher. _

_"Perfect, and now we should go. I have my driver waiting, and we'll meet Hunter and Cristina at city hall. I still think you could have had one of your friends as a witness," he observed as they headed out the door. "I mean, Cristina Yang seems like a good manager and all..."_

_"I like her, and besides, we need to keep this quiet until it's all finalized. Any of the girls I know would be gossiping about it instantly. This is better."_

_"I understand completely." Thatcher helped her into the back of the car and the limo purred away from the driveway quickly. Meredith clutched her hands together to stop the shaking. No turning back now._

_The rest of the day passed in a blur. Later she would remember Hunter's warm hands clasping her cold fingers as they stood in front of the justice of the peace and Thatcher's reassuring smile as they signed the paperwork that finalized their marriage. Cristina had been a calming presence, and thankfully had no knowledge of the ghost of Derek hanging over Meredith's heart. They all went out for dinner, and at the end of the evening, she found herself standing out the bedroom window again. This time in the new house Hunter had purchased with help from Thatcher, where her new life would begin. She heard him enter the room behind her, and she took a deep breath before facing him. _

_"Here we are, Mrs. Conrad," he said, his tone light, as he handed over a glass of sparkling water. "No champagne, but this is just as good. To us…"_

_"Yes, to us…" she whispered, before he leaned in to kiss her. There were no fireworks going off, and there wasn't the same soul deep desire she'd experienced with Derek. But she wouldn't have that again, ever…_

* * *

In his study, Thatcher Grey leaned back in the chair and savoured the rich taste of the bourbon in his glass, before looking over at his son-in-law. "Hunter, you realize with this mayoral race, you'll need to have a complete security check. No skeletons in the closet that I'm not aware of?" His shrewd gaze over the rim of his glass took in the laid back style that Hunter took pains to perfect. However, Thatcher knew the other man was anything but laid back, and far removed from complete honesty. Still, he could use that to his advantage, as he intended to do.

"I have nothing to hide," Hunter said smoothly. "Unless you count the secrecy over Mia's true paternity. That could get dragged out in the open, and you don't want that any more than I do."

Thatcher nodded in agreement. "Of course, and Meredith wouldn't be pleased if that came to light either. Mia is too young to be exposed to scandal, too innocent to understand. I trust you will be able to keep that hidden."

"I'm her father in every way that counts," Hunter pointed out, swirling the alcohol in his own glass. "And I've done well by Meredith since we were married, you can't dispute that."

"Oh, I'm not disputing that, but I know that you've been less than completely faithful," Thatcher said quietly. Again, he took a slow sip of his drink, clearly enjoying the way Hunter shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"What? Are you serious?" Hunter snapped, an angry set to his jaw.

"Let's just say I make sure to know exactly what is going on with the people I do business with. You should know that by now, Hunter." He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a large envelope that he set in front of him carefully. "Now, what I have here is some proof of your extramarital activity. Just a few photos that I'm sure you don't want Meredith to see. I love my daughter, and I'd hate for her to find out just what a bastard you are, so I hope to use these as leverage, so to speak."

"Leverage?"

"When you're elected mayor, which I'm sure you will be, you can do certain favors behind the scenes for me…approval on certain business dealings, you know what I'm talking about," Thatcher said, enjoying the look of disbelief on Hunter's face. "I brought you into this family, and if it weren't for my support your marriage wouldn't have happened. I own you."

"I'm quite sure Meredith would have survived the gossip about the baby…" Hunter started to say hotly, but Thatcher held his hand up to stop him.

"I know she would have survived, but what she needed at the time was someone that could provide a stable home for her child. Her career was just starting, and she was extremely fragile, if you'll recall. I understand you weren't really in love with her, but marriages have been made on less. At that point in your life you needed a family as well, and you've come along to where I had hoped you would. So please, don't be a fool and throw it all away over some affair."

For a few moments neither man spoke, and Thatcher was content to let the silence draw out. Hunter shook his head and stood up slowly. "Fine. If you must know, I already told April we were finished."

Thatcher raised an eyebrow. "So you say. I'm quite sure she wasn't the first, and won't be the last who catches your interest. Just keep in mind that I have these photos, should you find yourself drawn back into the affair with her, or anyone else. Are we clear on this?"

"Crystal.," Hunter snapped.

"Good, I'm sure we can enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship out of this. Just keep your dick in your pants," Thatcher said with a sly smile.

Hunter picked up the heavy crystal tumbler and gulped down the last of his drink. "One thing you obviously aren't aware of, Thatcher..." he said, smiling in return, "...Derek Shepherd is back in Nashville. I would hate for Meredith to get involved with him again, wouldn't you?"

"Are you serious?"

"What do you think?" Hunter set the glass down. "Would I lie to you?" Then he turned and walked away, whistling softly.


	9. No One Will Ever Love You Like I Do

**Thanks to all of you that are still reading out there! There will be happier times to come soon, and there are some MerDer interactions in this chapter! It turned out to be a lot longer than I anticipated, but there didn't seem to be a good spot to break it, so it's all here in its glory. Please read, enjoy...review!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9  
No One Will Ever Love You Like I Do  
**

"So what are you going to do about seeing Derek every day on this tour?" Cristina asked, pouring herself a shot of tequila.

"Believe me, I'm not going to do anything foolish," Meredith started to say, ignoring Cristina's inelegant snort of disagreement, just as her cell phone indicated a call. "Hello? Oh, really? Well, thanks..." She ended the call, and set the phone down slowly. "Well, that's interesting. One of the guys in the band is at The Bluebird and he says that Derek's there. Rumor has it he might perform tonight."

"You aren't thinking what I think you're thinking?" Cristina asked, eyebrows going up again.

"What?"

"Going to see him perform."

Meredith smiled a little, unable to deny that the idea had been an immediate response. What would it be like to see him there, in the place they had their start so long ago? But then she shook her head. "I really shouldn't. Mia's sleeping, and it wouldn't be right for me to run out like that."

"But you want to, I can tell. Tell you what, I'll stay here and keep an eye on things. You can do one wild and crazy thing, right?"

"It's not that wild, Cris...if I go, I'll just slip in the door and see him play, and then sneak out."

"Wait, what about that little ball of fur that likes to pee on shoes?" Cristina asked, frowning at her empty shot glass.

"Benji is in his crate in Mia's room, so you should be safe." Meredith got to her feet, and checked her watch. "Okay, I'll do this. I can call the car service and be back before you know it."

"Are you wearing that?" Cristina nodded at the sweater and faded jeans Meredith was wearing.

"It's fine, really." But despite her words, Meredith ran a hand through her hair. She felt silly being so nervous, she fully intended to do this anonymously. It wasn't like she was going up to sing with him. "I don't want to pull a star routine and draw any focus away from the singing." She picked up her phone and headed towards the door. "Be back soon!"

* * *

The Bluebird was packed as usual when Meredith slipped inside, and took a spot at the back of the room. She'd been there on occasion over the last few years, but at the moment she felt an overwhelming rush of memories. Memories of being here with Derek when they were starting out, happy and excited about the future, so sure of themselves and their love for each other. She scanned the crowd, looking for him, and spotted his distinctive head of hair at the bar. He was talking with Mark, but true to his word, there was no alcohol in front of him, just a coffee cup.

The girl on stage was finishing her song, and Meredith clapped along with the rest of the audience. The new artists all looked so young and fresh, and she wondered if she'd looked the same way ten years ago. It all seemed like a long time ago.

Mark bounded onto the stage and grabbed the mic. "And that was Ashley Williams, folks, thanks for that nice round of applause! Now, once again we have a returning artist for you, someone that got a great response the last time he was here. He's a long time friend of mine, and he's not a bad singer if I say so myself...let's give a warm welcome to Derek Shepherd!"

Loud cheers and clapping broke out as Mark indicated Derek, standing at the side of the small stage. Meredith caught her breath again, seeing him there, his guitar in hand as he acknowledged Mark's introduction. Again, he was wearing well worn jeans, with a white button down shirt this time, and he looked relaxed and happy to there. He took his seat and adjusted the mic, before speaking to the crowd.

"Thank you for the welcome again. I won't bore you with a lot of talk, since you're here for the music. This is a song I wrote a few years ago, and I hope you like it. It's called 'No One Will Ever Love You'."

_Don't you try to tell me someone's waiting.  
They're not waiting for you.  
Oh and don't you try to tell me that you're wanted.  
That you're needed.  
Cause it's not true.  
I know why you're lonely.  
It's time you knew it too.  
No one will ever love you, no one will ever love you.  
No one will ever love you like I do._

_Why you always looking for the limelight?_  
_Ain't you satisfied with me?_  
_For once why don't you get down off your high heels,_  
_you're no big deal._  
_Can't you see? I know why you're lonely._  
_It's time you knew it too._  
_No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you._  
_No one will ever love you like I do._

From her spot, hidden at the back of the room, Meredith felt the sting of tears behind her eyelids, listening to him sing. He had obviously matured a great deal in the time they'd been apart, and his voice tugged at her soul. She could tell the lyrics had come from his heart, and the melody was haunting. If he wasn't a household name, he should be. She couldn't deny him the chance to shine on this tour; it would be a good forum for him to get the recognition he so clearly deserved.

As the last note faded away there was silence for a moment, and then everyone started to applaud. Meredith joined in as well, intending to leave before anyone noticed her. But before she could make a move, Derek looked in her direction and their eyes locked. Again, that familiar frisson of desire swept through her, and she found herself unable to take a step. After he made his way off stage, and headed towards her, she still couldn't make herself back away.

"Meredith..." he said, smiling at her in that way he always did. "What are you doing here?"

"I just...I heard you might be singing..." she replied, shrugging a little. "You were so good, Derek!"

He shrugged diffidently in return. "Thanks. I didn't imagine I would be comfortable alone on stage, but it's been good."

"Alex was right to hire you," she said.

"I'm still just in the backup position," he reminded her. "But I'm okay with that."

"Izzie is going to make a star out of you, she'll play to you, I'm sure of it. It's what I would do."

"Would you?" The warmth in his tone made her flush.

"You remember how it works, on stage chemistry always helps."

Derek nodded. "I guess we'll work things out in that regard. Do you have time for a coffee?"

"Not really, I should get back. Cristina, my manager, is at home with Mia and she's not the best with kids, or dogs..."

"So you just came to see me play, then?" A little smile played along his mouth again.

"I guess I did. I'm glad you're doing well, and that you've got things under control." Meredith made herself back away, to put distance between them. The blue of his eyes was stirring up too many memories, and his smile was too knowing. All she could suddenly think of was that smile tormenting her as he'd held himself over her in bed, making her wait for him to slide into her. The mental image it conjured up hit her senses like a heat wave, making her knees weak and her pulse pounding.

"Are you all right?" he asked, as if sensing her flash of desire. As if he could sense the hunger for him that she thought had been locked away.

"Fine, it's just...seeing you..." she said softly, trying to keep her composure. She'd underestimated the effect of seeing him again, especially here where they had shared so many special moments. "Listening to that song, the lyrics were so...haunting...damnit...I have to go..." She blinked quickly and turned to leave, hurrying outside before he could say another word.

At the door, she collided with Izzie, who was coming in with Alex close behind her. "Oh, god, sorry..." she murmured. "Izzie...Alex...? What are you doing here?"

"Just hoped to get a chance to perform," Izzie grinned. "And I hear that my new lead guitarist is here, so we can use the opportunity to bond. You should stay; I would love to hear about your old songs..."

Meredith frowned. "I have to go. Alex, are you her date tonight?"

"Of course not," he replied swiftly. "Strictly business."

"Mmhmm..." Meredith took a moment to check out Izzie's choice of clothing for the evening. This time she was wearing skinny jeans tucked into knee high boots, and a skimpy white camisole under a leather jacket. Her long blonde hair was in a side ponytail that hung over one shoulder. Not exactly country, but better than some of the things Meredith had seen her in. Alex looked a little out of place, still wearing his usual suit, even though he'd ditched the tie somewhere.

"Aw, sorry to hear you can't stay," Izzie said sweetly. "C'mon, Alex, let's go…" She tugged at his arm.

Alex nodded shortly, and Meredith shook her head. "Well, you two have fun. I'm sure Derek will be thrilled to see you here."

* * *

In the morning, Meredith poured a cup of coffee for Hunter and set it on the counter in front of him. She hesitated for a moment, seeing the stormy look in his eyes, but then she decided she couldn't postpone the news for long. "I just found out yesterday that Alex has hired Derek as the lead guitarist for Izzie. He'll be on tour with us."

"Are you serious?"

"Would I make that up?" Meredith asked, raising her eyebrows.

"So you didn't know before?"

"Of course I didn't know! Alex played me by tricking me into thinking Derek was going along with the acoustic tour, when he had this idea in his back pocket the whole time. He's such an ass..."

Hunter shook his head. "Your past association with Shepherd should be enough to re-think this tour. Being on the road with him...seriously, Mer?"

"I'm going to deal with this, so please don't insult my intelligence by thinking I'm going to throw away what we have! Mia is what's important," Meredith said firmly, placing her hands on the counter. Last night's flash of erotic hunger was best forgotten, a temporary bout of insanity obviously.

"Mia is the reason we have a life together," Hunter said quietly. "I agree, we need to protect her at all costs. I was talking with Thatcher last night, and he made it quite clear that our lives will be under scrutiny with the mayoralty race. I should have realized that before, but I didn't."

"He told me when she was born that he had taken care of everything. There's no trace of Derek's...name...anywhere on the birth records," Meredith said, trying not to choke on the words. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

Hunter winced at the implication. "You're right, he did, but he has a way of holding things over my head." He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. "If you tell me that there's nothing to worry about, then I'm sure you're right."

"Good..." Meredith took a sip of her coffee to steady herself, just as Hunter's phone rang, interrupting them. He glanced at it, and frowned.

"I need to take this," he said, pushing away from the counter. "It's April, must be something about the new deal we're working on."

"Sure..." She watched as he took the call, walking away into the family room, a serious look on his face. She massaged her temple, wondering if this was going to work out.

"April, what are you calling about now? I thought we agreed you would wait until I was in the office to talk?" Hunter hissed, looking over his shoulder to make sure Meredith wasn't following him.

"But I missed you, and I need to hear your voice, baby. I'm here, waiting for you..." April said softly.

"It's over..."

"I have something to tell you, and it can't be on the phone. When will you be in?"

"Soon, just be patient. I'm trying to deal with some news of my own here, and it doesn't make me happy. Just handle whatever it is until I get there," he said firmly.

"Fine." She abruptly ended the call before he could say anything else, and he stifled a curse before heading back to the kitchen. What the hell else could happen to irritate him? As if in response to this question, he spotted Benji out of the corner of his eye, making a beeline for him. Mia was in pursuit, and the puppy just managed to elude her and start to lift his leg to relieve himself on the carpet.

"Benji, no!" Mia shouted, and Hunter made a dive at the same time to grab Benji. Too late, as it turned out, and the dribble landed partially on his new shoes.

"Damnit! Mia, I thought you had this under control!" Hunter shook his foot as if that might help.

"Sorry, Daddy, but he was too quick!" Mia scooped Benji up, and headed for the kitchen. "I'll clean it up, I know it's my fault..."

Meredith appeared, hearing the commotion, and took in the situation in one glance. "You know where the cleaning stuff is, Mia. Put Benji outside first."

Once her daughter was gone, Meredith glared at Hunter. "Don't yell at her, she's trying to train Benji but it's going to take time."

"Fine, I'm just in a bad mood already, and now my shoe has been peed on. Forgive me if I'm not cheerful," he said icily. "I have to go change them now and get to work. That little furball needs to learn where to pee."

"That little furball was your idea, dear. Just leave the shoes, I'll make sure they get cleaned. And please, when I'm away, be nice to Benji, he's really a sweet little dog. I don't want to have Mia crying on the phone to me."

"Fine. I promise not to yell," he agreed. "Now I'm late, so I'll see you tonight."

"Oh, I've got that thing tonight, remember? Unless you want to be there? I'm performing at that charity dinner for helping runaway kids. Just a short set, but it's a good cause, and I'm glad I can still do it before the tour."

"Christ, I'd forgotten about that, and it's on my schedule too. I guess I'll see you there."

"All right then. I think Thatcher will be there, so I'll arrange for Mia's babysitter to look after her." Meredith took the shoes he handed over. "Have a good day!"

"Thanks, you too." Hunter brushed a quick kiss over her cheek before he stalked away to find another pair of shoes.

* * *

Richard looked at Derek across the table of the coffee shop. "Going on tour with Meredith is not a good idea, and you know it. Don't test yourself like this so soon."

"It's not just Meredith, there's going to be dozens of other people around, from the other singer to the roadies to the managers and backup singers and other band members. It's a veritable circus. I'll be lucky if I even see her for more than a moment backstage."

"I still don't think it's wise."

"Richard, the chance to play again is going to be experience if I want to go solo someday."

"You really think that going the route of country star is what you want to pursue? There's a lot of pressure, and continued scrutiny, in that life."

"I know, but I think I can deal with it better now."

Richard sighed. "Just be sure and keep in touch, Derek. I'm always willing to listen."

"I appreciate that, and you have your own agenda these days, so it's good to know you have my back."

Richard's cell phone rang then, and he picked it up. "Sorry, just let me take this..." As he spoke, Derek glanced out the window at the passing cars. At the stoplight, a silver Jaguar idled, and he admired the sleek lines of the car. Then he realized it was Hunter Conrad driving, and he frowned, realizing the woman in the passenger seat wasn't Meredith. Of course, it might've been a co-worker, or a relative, Derek thought idly. But then the woman lifted her hand and stroked Hunter's cheek in an intimate gesture that made Derek pay closer attention. What the hell, was the man involved with someone else?

"Derek?" Richard's voice pulled him back to the moment.

"Sorry, just thought I saw someone out there I recognized."

"Do you have plans tonight?"

"Nothing much, why?"

"There's a charity dinner tonight that needs another performer, someone's backed out due to illness. I have to go, part of the campaign thing, and they just called to see if I could find someone to fill in. You feel like singing? "

Derek shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"It's a good cause, to help runaway kids."

"Sounds good. What time?"

"Eight o'clock. There's some other performers as well, no big pressure."

"I'll be there. Now, I should go and take Max out for a walk. I'll see you later." He stood and made his way to the door, thinking again about Hunter and the mystery woman. And telling himself that it really wasn't any of his business...

* * *

Meredith sat in front of the mirror in the space designated for a dressing room. She applied more lipstick, and patted powder on her nose, thinking about the upcoming performance. For this size of audience, she was able to keep it simple, no need for the usual bevy of hair stylists, makeup artists and costume wranglers. She hummed softly, thinking about the two songs she was planning to perform, when there was a tap at the door and then Cristina appeared.

"Hey, you're ready?"

"Pretty much."

Cristina grabbed a bottle of water from the small bar fridge, and dropped onto the sofa. "Nice flowers," she observed, looking at the two big bouquets flanking Meredith as she sat facing the mirror.

"Aren't they? There's a basket over there with chocolates, if you're interested," Meredith said, waving towards the table.

"Ooh...truffles!"

"Save a couple for me, I'll have them when I'm done."

There was another tap at the door, and this time it was the event organizer, holding out a sheet of paper. "Sorry to interrupt, Ms Grey, but there's been a slight change to the lineup tonight. Luke Wheeler dropped out, he's got the flu."

"Oh no...do you need me to add anything to my set?"

"His spot has already been filled, thanks to Richard Webber. He suggested someone to step in, and thankfully, he has. We just juggled the schedule a little to accommodate him, he doesn't need a lot of setup so he's on right after you."

"Great, who is it?"

The woman consulted the paper in her hand again. "Um, I'm not familiar with the name...Derek Shepherd. I'm sure he'll be good, Richard gave us a very glowing recommendation!"

Meredith's eyes widened, and she met Cristina's in the mirror. "Fine. That's great, thanks for letting me know."

"Wonderful! I'll be off then, can't wait to hear you sing!"

"Well, this is going to be awkward," Cristina smirked, popping a truffle in her mouth.

Meredith rolled her eyes, and resisted the urge to throw something at her friend. "I better get used to it, I suppose."

"Yeah, this is just the warm-up. The tour should be epic!"

* * *

Derek looked at the lineup for the evening's program, and frowned when he spotted Meredith's name. "Richard, you didn't tell me that Meredith was going to be here when you asked me to attend," he said, glancing up at the other man standing next to him.

"I really didn't know about that myself, Derek. I'm not on the committee; I'm just speaking here for the sake of the election. Someone called to ask for suggestions, since I work with musicians from time to time. I'm sorry if that's going to be a problem."

"It's fine, just wasn't expecting to see her again before the tour started. I can handle this." He looked at the list again. "And they've put me on after her, d'you suppose they did that on purpose?"

"Hardly,' Richard replied a touch sarcastically.

"You're right, just being paranoid." Derek scanned the crowd milling around, drinks in hand. Waiters weaved by, offering plates of appetizers. He recognized a lot of the Nashville elite, both artists and behind the scenes songwriters and musicians, rubbing elbows with local businessmen. Then he narrowed his eyes, spotting Hunter Conrad across the room, deep in conversation with several men, including Thatcher Grey.

"How well do you know Hunter?" he asked, keeping an eye on the group.

"Ah, my esteemed competitor? Just the usual facts, I suppose. He's done well in his real estate business, ever since aligning himself with Thatcher. There's always gossip in this town about the deals, but if there's anything illegal going on, nothing's been proven. He and Meredith entertain frequently, and invitations are like gold. As a couple, they're almost like Nashville royalty."

Derek winced slightly at that comparison. "Mm...and they're happily married?" he managed to ask casually, thinking of what he'd observed earlier in the day.

"From all appearances, so don't get any ideas," Richard said firmly.

"I have no ideas of that sort, but he always seemed a little too smug. I did see him with another woman today, and they seemed a little more than friendly. I just hope for Meredith's sake that they are happy together. She deserves that much."

"I see, well, all I can tell you is to outward appearances they seem happy and their daughter is a sweet girl."

"A perfect family, then."

"It seems that way. If he's having an affair, I haven't heard any gossip about it. But then, my wife is the one who reads all the celebrity articles. You'd need to ask her."

"What are his chances to win the election?"

"I think we're running pretty close right now, hard to say how it will go."

The lights were beginning to dim, indicating the start of the performances. "I should get backstage. I'll talk to you later, Richard. Enjoy the show."

"Absolutely."

* * *

Hunter downed his glass of champagne, as the lights dimmed. "Show time," he muttered to Thatcher. "I should stop backstage and wish my lovely wife good luck. Catch up with you later?"

"Of course. Give her a kiss for me."

Nodding, Hunter moved away quickly, threading through the crowd, shaking hands here and there. His mind was still occupied with the news April had hit him with earlier in the day, and he wasn't paying complete attention to anyone. He found Meredith in the dressing room, along with Cristina. "Hey, you look great," he said, as she glanced over her shoulder at him from the mirror.

"Thanks, how's the crowd?" Meredith asked, taking his hand to step down from the stool. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before replying.

"Usual, lots of drinks flowing, so everyone's happy." He looked at Cristina. "Can you give us a moment?"

"Oh sure, I'll be backstage, Mer. See you in a few," Cristina said, quickly leaving the room.

"What's up?"

"Can't I have a moment with my wife?" he asked, sliding his arm around her waist. "It's been a stressful day, and I want to apologize for this morning. I was in a crappy mood."

"Hmm...you were, and you need to make it up to Mia. She's doing a good job with Benji, but puppies need a lot of time to get it right," she reminded him.

"You're right, and when you're away, I promise to spend as much time as possible helping her with that," he said.

"Well, good..." Meredith said, a little surprised. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, just dealing with some unexpected crises at work. Nothing I can't handle," he assured her. And he would handle April's bombshell that she was pregnant with his baby, quietly and before anyone else got wind of it. That was the last thing he needed in his life right at the moment.

"I have something to tell you too," she started to say, but he pressed a kiss on her lips.

"Later, all right? I'll be out in the crowd, watching you do what you love best," he said, winking at her before he turned to leave the room.

Meredith shook her head in annoyance as she made her way backstage. As usual, Hunter was too much in a hurry to hear what she had to say, and now he'd be pissed when he realized Derek was performing tonight. She had to push that out of her thoughts for now, and focus on the upcoming performance. But unbidden thoughts of her marriage continued to creep into her mind; whether it was seeing Derek again that stirred things up, or just Hunter's moods, she wasn't sure. She knew after ten years that Hunter could be difficult to live with, that he had his moods, that he spent a lot of time at the office; yet considering their marriage hadn't exactly started in a traditional manner, they had survived longer than a lot of others. Or was that why they were still together...because it wasn't emotional and messy?

Then she rounded the corner, and bumped into someone. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said quickly, and then realized it was Derek in front of her. He steadied her by putting his hand at her back and the touch made her shiver. Meeting his blue eyes reminded her sharply of the previous night and her response to him. "Derek..."

"Meredith, you look amazing, can I tell you that?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her more carefully.

For a second, she glanced down at her short gold dress, which sparkled with shots of gold thread. The halter top wasn't overly low cut, but it did expose a small bit of cleavage. Her hair was loose and waved softly around her face, nothing too big or too teased. She flushed slightly before looking up at him again. "Thanks, you look good too..."

"I wasn't sure what to expect, so I thought I'd keep it more casual," he said with a shrug. In fact, his indigo blue shirt paired with dark wash jeans, and polished boots was just right for the venue.

"It's good, you look good..."

"You left so suddenly last night, I hope seeing me isn't going to cause problems," he said quietly. "I don't want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable."

"Derek, it's just going to take a little time to get used to seeing you again, I think. I didn't know you were playing tonight, but I'm okay," she assured him, despite feeling flustered.

"Yeah, it was a short notice kind of thing, didn't expect to see you either. I'm looking forward to watching you perform," he said, "it's been awhile."

"It has. Good luck with your set." She moved away slowly, telling herself that he was just a friend, that he was part of her past. She could still feel his eyes on her and it occurred to her that her husband would be watching her from the audience at the same that Derek was backstage watching. How weird was that?

"He looks hot," Cristina whispered, once Meredith reached her. "Does he have a girlfriend?"

"What? No…wait, how would I know?"

"Just asking. He's still looking at you, you know. Are you sure your relationship with him is as over as you said?"

"It was over a long time ago," Meredith said firmly, resisting the temptation to glance over her shoulder at him. "And it has to stay that way."

"If you say so, Mer," Cristina smirked, as the music started to play in the background, indicating Meredith's set was about to start. "You're on, knock 'em dead!"

* * *

_Song lyrics here (and in previous chapters) from the show 'Nashville'_


	10. Flying and Falling

**And here we are at chapter 10! As always, thanks to those of you kind enough to leave your reviews...the story may be moving a little slowly, and no sex yet (except for a little mention in an early flashback), but really would you want them to jump right back into bed without any kind of resolution to their past issues? The heat and the steam will happen in due time! As for the rest of it, I hope that at least some of you will be there till the end with me.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 10  
Flying and Falling  
**

Derek watched Meredith confidently take the stage, her smile lighting her features with the joy she always had when she was singing. The song was upbeat and the crowd was right there with her, clapping and singing along. He could feel the infectious enthusiasm of her performance, and he was completely mesmerized by the sight and sound; there was no doubt that she owned the room when she was out there. Unable to stop the grin from spreading on his own face, he was caught up in the moment, thinking of happier times. She was the Meredith of his past, now highly polished and professional but with a grace and charm that had always been uniquely hers. And he couldn't deny the desire that had bubbled up in his body after spending a few moments with her; that was still there, still palpable, but was he only wishing for the same feeling on her side?

The applause exploded as she finished the song, then the lights dimmed, leaving her alone in a single spotlight. She took the microphone in hand and took a seat on a stool that had been placed beside her. "Thank you so much, I'm glad to have the opportunity to sing for you tonight. This is a great cause, and on behalf of the charity, I appreciate you all being here with your generous donations. Now, I'd like to slow things down a little. This is a ballad that will be on my new CD coming out very soon, and I wanted to preview it for you."

The crowd was respectfully hushed while Meredith closed her eyes briefly. Derek could see her gather herself, and he held his breath for a moment, waiting along with everyone else for the words. The opening notes on the piano hung in the air as she began to sing.

_First you fall, then you fly_  
_ and you believe that you belong_  
_ up in the sky._  
_ Flap your arms, as you run,_  
_ every revolution brings you closer to the sun._  
_ You fall asleep in motion, in uncharted __hemispheres,_  
_ and you wake up with the stars_  
_ fallin' down around your ears._  
_ And when they hit the ground,_  
_ they're nothin' but stones_  
_ that's how you learn to live alone._  
_ That's how you learn to live alone._

_Bit by bit, you slip away,_  
_ you lose yourself in pieces_  
_ by the things that you don't say._  
_ You're not here, but you're still there_  
_ The sun goes up and the sun goes down,_  
_ but you're not sure you care._  
_ You live inside the false,_  
_ till you recognize the truth._  
_ People send you pictures,_  
_ but you can't believe it's you._  
_ Seems forever since your house_  
_ has felt like home_  
_ that's how you learn to live alone_  
_ that's how you learn to live alone_

If Derek had felt mesmerized before, this song caught him off guard by how emotional it was. The lyrics reminded him sharply of everything they had gone through in the past, and the fallout of his addictions.

_It don't feel right, but it's not wrong._  
_ It's just hard to start again this far along._  
_ Brick by brick, the letting go,_  
_ as you walk away from everything you know_  
_ When you release resistance_  
_ and you lean into the wind,_  
_ till the roof begins to crumble,_  
_ and the rain comes pourin' in,_  
_ And you sit there in the rubble,_  
_ till the rubble feels like home_  
_ That's how you learn to live alone_  
_ that's how you learn to live alone_

The last note faded away, and for a moment there was complete silence before the audience began to applaud and surge to their feet. Derek felt an overwhelming need to rush on stage and wrap his arms around Meredith, hold her close and tell her again how sorry he was about everything. How stupid he'd been, how selfish and insecure he'd been to get lost in the whiskey time and time again, hurting her more than he'd ever meant to. He didn't know if words could ever make up for that, or if he'd ever have the opportunity to make up for his actions. They say time heals all wounds, but the greater the loss, the deeper the cut, making the healing process more difficult. The pain fades, but the scars remain as a constant reminder of what was lost, and how much you don't want to get hurt like that again.

His throat felt tight, and he wondered if he would be able to sing after this, swallowing the sudden lump. "She's good, isn't she?" Someone spoke up at his elbow, and he looked around to see another woman there. He nodded shortly, not trusting his voice at the moment. "That's gonna be her next number one hit, I just know it! I'm Cristina, by the way, Meredith's manager. You must be Derek, she's told me a lot about you."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "She has?"

"Sure..." Cristina's tone seemed to speak volumes, but before Derek could say anything else, the stage lights were back up and his name was being announced as the next performer.

"Guess I'm up, nice to meet you," he said, before striding out into the bright lights. He managed to exchange a brief look with Meredith as they passed by each other, and her mouth curved into a small smile. It made him wonder again at their tentative new friendship and whether it would last.

* * *

Out in the audience, Hunter leaned back in his chair, applauding along with the rest of the crowd. He felt a surge of possessive pride, seeing her there, and seeing the effect she had on the audience. There was a good reason she was the favorite female country singer several years running. His cell phone vibrated, indicating an incoming text message, but for the moment he ignored it. It vibrated again, and this time he pulled it out of his pocket, as Thatcher glared at him. "I'll be right back..." he muttered, pushing away from the table. Then he stopped in his tracks, listening to the emcee announce the next singer. "What the hell?" he snapped, looking over his shoulder. Derek Shepherd was walking out on stage, with just a guitar in hand as Meredith slipped past him. They exchanged a short glance, and Hunter frowned, seeing that look. Why didn't Meredith tell him about this?

He glanced at Thatcher, and it seemed to be a shock to him as well. So obviously Meredith hadn't mentioned anything yet to her father about Derek being in town again. For a moment, Hunter debated what to do, but he couldn't make a scene. Instead, he kept walking, looking at his phone again. Then he tapped out a brief message to respond to April's note. She could wait; right now he was headed backstage again.

* * *

Meredith stopped in the wings to listen as Derek started singing, feeling a little drained after the emotional outpouring of the last song. The look she'd exchanged with him as they passed by made her wonder if he'd felt the personal tug of the lyrics. The moment she'd heard the demo of the song she knew she had to record it, it was so raw and haunting.

Cristina came up beside her then, and handed over a bottle of water. "Great set, they loved you, and that new song is going to be a rocket on the charts!"

"Thanks," Meredith responded, her eyes still on Derek. He was at ease, guitar in hand, looking confident. His song was upbeat, and yet the lyrics were still personal.

_Here I am feeling lonely_  
_ Here I am feeling blue_  
_ Think about picking up the phone_  
_ And_  
_ Think about calling you_  
_ Ought to be a little more careful_  
_ After what went down last time_  
_ Cause you got my heart playing tricks on my mind_

"You should be out there with him," Cristina smirked. "Just think of the crowd reaction you'd get."

"God, don't say that. You might give Alex ideas again. Not to mention Hunter's reaction." Meredith rolled her eyes at Cristina's suggestion.

Cristina peered around the edge of the curtain. "Speaking of the devil, he just walked away from the table, and he looks pissed."

"Lovely. I'm getting a little tired of his accusation that I'm not going to be able to handle seeing Derek. I'm not the same girl I was back then," Meredith said, frowning slightly.

"Between you and me, there is some serious sizzle going on with you and Derek, I could see it from yards away. I bet Hunter picked up on it too. You better be careful, Mer."

"Cris! I'm not about to do something stupid! For Mia's sake, remember?"

"Right, but are you happy?" Cristina asked quietly.

Meredith took a slow swallow of water as she evaded the question. At the moment, she didn't have an answer to that.

* * *

Derek finished his song, and took a moment to savor the applause as he stood up. He gave the audience a wave as he headed off stage, where he discovered a small crowd had gathered. Besides Meredith and Cristina, he saw Hunter and Thatcher had joined them, and Richard was also at the edge of the group, giving him a discreet thumbs up.

"Well, well...isn't this interesting," Thatcher spoke up first. "When did you get back? And how long are you staying?"

"Don't start," Meredith said quietly, putting her hand on his arm.

"Start what? I think he should explain his presence here, Meredith. After all this time, he must have a reason."

"I don't owe you an explanation," Derek said evenly, keeping his tone light, even as he gripped his guitar tightly. "This is a free country, if I want to be here in Nashville, I have that right."

"You didn't exactly leave on the best of terms."

Derek eyed the men grouped around Meredith protectively, as Richard moved closer to him. "I didn't mean to stir up anything. I just felt it was time to come home."

"It's all right, Dad," Meredith spoke up. "Please don't make a fuss."

Thatcher slid her a look that spoke volumes, and Derek realized suddenly that her father obviously had stepped in and had a hand in her marriage to Hunter. Back then, Derek had been too messed up to figure that out, but it was pretty obvious to him now.

"I should just go," he said, nodding towards Richard. "Do you need to stay?"

"Did you get him into this?" Hunter asked, glaring at Richard.

"Just as a performer tonight. I had no idea that it would cause a furor," Richard commented. "But seeing how good a job he's done, I think I'm going to have him perform at my next fundraiser. You're all welcome to attend." He flashed a sly grin at all of them.

Hunter frowned. "Not likely. You should just step aside, anyway, save yourself the embarrassment of losing."

"Don't be so sure of that yet. I'm still in the running."

"Let's not get carried away now," Thatcher spoke up. "This isn't the place for mayoral posturing. This is a charity function. I just wanted to make sure that Meredith was all right."

"Why wouldn't I be all right?"

"Given the history..." Thatcher shrugged, looking at Derek. "I think it would be a good idea if the two of you kept your distance."

Meredith clenched her fists. "That will be a little difficult, Dad. He's booked as the lead guitarist for Izzie on our tour."

For a moment, there was complete silence, before Thatcher found his voice. "Why didn't you tell me about this before, Meredith? Obviously you had knowledge Derek was in town."

"It didn't exactly come up in conversation."

"Did you know about this tour business?" he demanded, looking at Hunter.

"I just found out myself this morning."

"And you're fine with that?"

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Meredith asked, glancing around. "This isn't exactly the best place to be trotting out family problems."

"Look, I'm just here to do a job, nothing more," Derek said firmly. "I've moved on from the past, and you have no reason to be concerned about my presence in Meredith's life." He managed to keep his tone of voice even, hoping to convince everyone that he meant every word he said. "Now, much as I'd love to hang out here and rehash old arguments, I have things to do."

"Of course, just take off when you can't handle the pressure," Hunter smirked. "Seems to me you do that a lot."

Taking a deep breath to control the anger that threatened to explode, Derek looked at Hunter. "You don't know me, or anything about me, so just stay out of this." He nodded towards Meredith, and then turned on his heel and walked away before saying anything else he might regret later.

Richard caught up with him. "Do you need to talk? I have time before going home, if you want to grab a coffee? That was pretty intense."

Derek kept walking, until they were outside, where he finally stopped and raked one hand through his hair. "No, I'm fine, Richard. I meant what I said back there; I've moved on from the past and it's obvious I should stay away from Meredith. I'll stay out of her way on the tour as much as possible, and once that's over we won't have to see each other again."

"That sounds sensible. But just remember to keep in touch while you're away, call me or text me anytime you need to."

"I will," Derek assured him. "Now I think I need to go home and get my dog and go for a nice long run."

"All right. Talk to you soon, Derek."

As Richard walked away, Derek closed his eyes briefly, willing away any memories of Meredith. He had to shove them all into a mental compartment, slam it shut and keep it shut. For his sanity, and his sobriety, he didn't want to go down that road again.

* * *

Meredith watched as Derek disappeared, before letting Hunter guide her back to her dressing room. Thatcher and Cristina trailed along behind her, not saying a word. Derek had certainly made it clear that he wasn't interested in getting involved on any kind of personal level; any kind of vibe she'd gotten in that regard before was gone. And that was good, really it was, it would be awkward to be on the road with him otherwise.

By the time she sat down in front of the mirror again, she was in control of her emotions. She kicked her shoes off and met Hunter's eyes in the glass. "Are you happy now?" she asked.

"Ecstatic."

"I told you there was nothing to be concerned about. You didn't need to make such a scene out there. God, the gossip doesn't take long to start in this town, you know that!" she said quietly. "He was just here to perform, the same as me. Get over yourself."

"Meredith, you have to admit it's a little difficult to see him around you," Thatcher spoke up, pouring a drink from the bottle of bourbon on the side table. He glanced at Cristina then. "Maybe you should give us a moment here."

"No, she can stay. I told her all the sordid details."

"All of them?" Thatcher raised his eyebrows before he took a sip of his drink.

"All of them."

"And I plan to keep her secrets," Cristina said, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm her person."

"Her person?"

"Yeah, you know…person to call in case of emergency…"

"Wait, I'm your husband," Hunter commented, a puzzled look on his face. "Shouldn't I be the person to contact?"

Meredith shrugged slightly. "Maybe for some things, but not everything."

"I won't even pretend to understand that." Hunter crossed the room to pour a drink as well, and then a glass of wine for her.

"I appreciate everyone's concern here, but seeing Derek isn't going to cause any problems. And if Alex wasn't being such an ass about the CD launch I wouldn't even need to go on tour with Izzie. But it's going to be fine." Meredith took the glass from Hunter, and took a sip. "He's sober, he's civil and he's plays damn fine guitar. Can we drop the melodrama?"

"Hey, maybe Izzie will make a play for him!" Cristina grinned, with a wink at Meredith. "I heard she's had a few flings with the guys in her band. Must be a little awkward after awhile, but hey, consenting adults and all that."

Meredith tightened her grip on the stem of the wineglass, tamping down the irrational surge of jealousy at the idea of Izzie in bed with Derek. She knew Cristina was likely just trying to defuse the situation, but it still rankled. "You never know…" she managed to say lightly, before taking a deep swallow of wine, letting the icy cold chardonnay slide down her throat.

Hunter set his glass down, fishing his phone out of his jacket pocket, and glanced at the display with a frown. "I've got to take this, be right back…" Without another word, he walked away, his fingers already tapping out a message.

"Work? Or campaign stuff?" Meredith asked, just idly curious. It seemed like Hunter's phone was constantly ringing, or vibrating with text messages. Before anyone could answer, he was back at the door.

"Sorry, babe, gotta run. I'll see you at home later. Kiss Mia good night for me."

"Must be campaign stuff, at this hour," Thatcher observed, but he checked his phone and didn't see anything in that regard coming to him. "I'll be on my way too. Good show tonight, honey. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that before. I let myself get riled up over Shepherd. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I get that, but please give me some credit for being an adult about this." Meredith lifted her cheek for his kiss. "I'll talk to you before I leave. Mia's excited about spending time with you while I'm gone."

"And she should be. I plan to spoil her shamelessly." Thatcher hugged her quickly. "Talk to you soon." He nodded at Cristina and then left them alone.

"Oh thank god…" Meredith sighed, joining Cristina on the sofa and reaching for the dish of chocolates. "I love my father, but sometimes he just wants to control everything too much…" She popped one of the truffles in her mouth.

"They're both control freaks," Cristina snorted, taking a chocolate for herself. "You need this tour, I think, to get a break. We'll make sure to go out and have girls night once or twice."

"Sounds good. But we're not taking Izzie…"

"What? I thought you two could bond…"

In response, Meredith tossed a pillow at Cristina's head, ending that train of thought effectively.

* * *

As for Izzie, at that moment she was looking at her mother, who had passed out on the sofa in Izzie's living room. A bottle of vodka was on the table, along with a nearly empty vial of pills. Since the woman had arrived on Izzie's doorstep, there had been nothing but trouble. Lorraine Stevens had threatened to tell the media all of Izzie's secrets, main of which was the fact that Lorraine wasn't dead. Now that Izzie was moving up in the country music scene, selling records and doing endorsements, her wealth had increased, something that her mother was determined to get a part of.

In order to keep her quiet, Izzie let Lorraine move in with her, until she could figure out what to do. Now she had Alex on the phone, as she glared at the prone form on the sofa. "What the hell do I do with her? I can't leave her at home while I go away; god only knows what she'll do!"

"Calm down. I think the best thing to do is get her into some nice quiet rehab facility, under an assumed name. She can get some help, and you can go on tour without any fear she's going to expose you."

"She'll talk to the staff," Izzie hissed, twisting her free hand in her hair. "And they'll leak it to some hideous gossip website faster than you can say scandal."

"Not if we pay them enough. Trust me, I know how to handle crap like this."

"Good, because I don't want to find my picture plastered over the front page of the Enquirer!"

"Like I said, trust me…you'll just owe me big time," Alex said smoothly.

"Oh I'm sure I can think of a way to repay you that you'll enjoy," she laughed. "Just do it fast, she's driving me crazy. This is why I told you she was dead, it's easier."

"I'll call you with the details as soon as it's arranged, and then we can discuss payment. Talk to you later," he said, before ending the call. Izzie set the phone down, looking at Lorraine again. She might regret asking Alex for help, but there wasn't much choice at this point.

* * *

Hunter slid into the driver's seat of his car, and turned to look at the woman waiting for him. "April, this is not what we discussed. You shouldn't be here."

"Then you shouldn't have given me a set of keys," she reminded him, her eyes snapping with irritation. "Look, I told you I'm pregnant, and I'm not giving it up. Please, Hunter, don't push me out of your life like this. I love you!"

"April, you knew when we started this that it was just casual. I can't divorce Meredith; her father will hang me out to dry by my balls." He glanced over his shoulder; feeling paranoid after his talk with Thatcher. "I'm willing to pay you support, I'm not that unfeeling, but there can't be any hint of this in the media. I thought you understood. In fact, you need to leave now. If someone sees us together like this we'll be in trouble."

Tears leaked down her cheeks, before she spoke. "Hunter, I know you're not happy with Meredith. Don't you want to be with someone that loves you for the man you are? Someone who understands you, and your ambitions? At least think about this, please? I promise not to say anything about the baby, just don't push me away…" She put her hand on his thigh, and despite himself, he covered it with his own. And leaned in to kiss her, forgetting for a moment that he needed to keep his distance.

Out in the darkness, there was a soft click of a camera, as the private investigator snapped pictures with a night vision lens. "Gotcha…"

* * *

_Song lyrics from Nashville "How You Learn to Live Alone" &amp; "Playin' Tricks"_


	11. The Storm is Just Beginning

**Thank you again to those of you that that left your reviews on the last chapter, I appreciate each and every one! And I appreciate that you will be here till the end of this fic, which I promise not to abandon. I like to write and if I can entertain a few of you along the way then that's a bonus. ****Maybe activity is a little slow, and reviews are down, but hey, it could be worse. (I forgot to mention last chapter, the song Meredith sings is truly haunting, if you have a chance to listen to the Nashville version, sung by Avery on the show aka Jonathan Jackson in real life.)  
**

**So on to this chapter, things are going to start to unravel for Hunter, Meredith finds out about his infidelity, plus she and Derek find themselves drawn together despite their best intentions not to. Still moving slowly, but moving forward!**

* * *

**Chapter 11  
The Storm is Just Beginning  
**

Life on the road wasn't exactly the stuff of dreams, Meredith mused as she sat in her dressing room, but it wasn't as bad as it used to be. When she'd been starting out, it was all long bus rides and budget motels; now it was private jets and limos and luxury hotels in every city. The dressing rooms were better, with more amenities and flowers and a bevy of makeup artists, hair stylists and costume wranglers to attend to her every need. Still, after a few weeks, it all blurred together. She loved the performances, and the rush of the moments on stage more than anything. Even watching Izzie strut and pout didn't bother her as much as she'd anticipated; she even found herself singing along to some of the songs after hearing them several times.

And she was right about what she'd said to Derek; Izzie played to him, standing close several times as she sang, their voices blending. It was a good showcase for him, even if watching it made her twitch in jealousy. Of course, the fans loved it, and Derek was gaining a lot of his own fans who screamed loudly when he was introduced. He even started signing autographs after the shows alongside Izzie and Meredith.

So far, they had done their best to keep their relationship professional, without giving any indication of their former emotional attachment. They kept their distance off stage, going their separate ways after the concerts, but she found herself constantly aware of him. It was the sound of his voice, the way he walked across the stage, the slight smile on his face as he played his guitar, the way his black hair was just disheveled enough to remind her of running her fingers through it; it all added up to make her slightly distracted. She couldn't fault him for anything; he was charming, professional, willing to work hard, and friendly with everyone. He didn't hang out and drink after the shows, but he still kidded around with the rest of the band and maintained a good relationship with them.

There had been one occasion when she and Cristina had gone out for a late dinner, arriving back a little giddy from wine and laughter, and bumped into him in the elevator. He had been amusedly tolerant of their giggling, pushing the button for their floor before leaning back against the wall, arms crossed. For a moment, Meredith could've sworn she could see the familiar smoky look of passion in his eyes before she looked away, flushed. Another time during rehearsal, she'd found herself next to him backstage, hands reaching for the same sheet of music; they'd shared a brief laugh before backing away. Just the other night, she'd stumbled slightly exiting the stage as the heel of her shoe caught on one of the cables and he reached out to catch her before she fell. The breathlessness she'd felt hadn't been entirely due to the near fall; the look in his eyes and the feel of his hands turned her into a melting glob of goo.

She wrinkled her nose at her reflection in the mirror. Derek was just being friendly, as he was with everyone. She still had a family in Nashville, after all. One that she kept in touch with as much as possible, even managing a few face to face calls with Mia via Skype. There had been a couple of brief overnight stops in Nashville, to coincide with mayoral race dinners so that she could lend a supportive presence for Hunter. Still, it wasn't as good as being there full time, but it would have to do. She hated being away from home for too long, and on the last phone call, Mia had been especially despondent. Even the presence of the puppy wasn't enough to make her smile more than a little. Hunter hadn't been home, and Meredith wasn't happy about that either. She would need to discuss that with him as soon as she got to talk to him; the last few days he'd been avoiding her calls, or just been too damn busy. The mayoral race was nearing the conclusion, she was well aware of that, but he needed to make time for their daughter as well. Leaving Mia alone with the babysitter on a regular basis just wasn't right. She'd texted her father, who assured her that everything was under control but he would check in again with Hunter if it would help.

It ate at her motherly instincts, made her feel guilty about being away. She picked up her phone and looked at Thatcher's text again. "Under control...?" she muttered, tapping in another message to Hunter this time. "Where the hell are you?"

She tucked her phone in her pocket, and did her best to concentrate on the moment at hand. They were in Dallas, doing a run through for their last stop before a brief break in the tour. Izzie was on stage, and as had been her usual practice since the start, was unhappy with how things were going. Every rehearsal seemed to take more time than the last, leaving Meredith with less time for her own run through. For the moment, she watched the other woman as she stopped singing, and turn to the band behind her.

"This doesn't sound right. What the hell is up with the acoustics in this place?" Izzie demanded, throwing her hands up in the air. She was wearing cutoff jean shorts, beat up boots, and a tight white t-shirt, with her hair pulled up in a messy topknot. The snap in her voice didn't bode well for anyone.

Derek glanced towards the wings, where the technicians were still gathered, and shrugged. "Sounds okay to me, Izzie." He set his guitar across his knees, and looked at her calmly. "Let's just give it another go, or you're going to run late. Meredith still needs to..."

Izzie held her hand up, not letting him finish. "This is MY tour, and MY practice time! Don't try to tell me to hurry up, are we clear?"

"Crystal," Derek said lightly, but Meredith could tell from his expression he wasn't happy about it. He always had been a consummate professional when he was sober, and she knew this was irritating him. But he picked up his guitar again, and nodded towards the rest of the band, so they picked up where they left off.

"Ah, the diva is in the house," Cristina said behind her a few minutes later, the tone a combination snort and anger. "She'll take forever if we let her. Just go out there and assert yourself."

"Just give her some time. I know my stuff, and the guys are professional enough to deal with a delay."

"You're too sweet sometimes, Mer. You need to be more of a star, you're the one with the awards and the gold records."

"She's still trying to make her own mark on things..."

"She's a bitch, and she knows it," Cristina observed. "Don't let her take over. She's only a step removed from American Idol, for god's sake."

Meredith smiled, before checking her watch again. "You're right, as usual. I need to get out there. Wish me luck!" She stepped out onto the stage, prepared to do battle, as Izzie finished her song.

"I think this is my rehearsal time, Izzie," she said, approaching the other girl. "You sound great."

"What? Oh for god's sake...this is a disaster..." Izzie snapped, thrusting the microphone at Meredith. "I'm done. Maybe you can deal with this, but I can't."

Meredith nodded, taking the mic. In all her days on the road, she did her best to be friendly with the technicians and the crews at the various venues they played at; it only helped her in the long run. "Thanks, Izzie, all right, can we take it from the top?" She glanced back at the band, where several of the guys had switched seats from Izzie's band to hers, some were the same but most weren't. Still, Derek was sitting in the same spot, guitar in hand, waiting for her to start. She gave him a questioning look, and he just smiled, shaking his head. It felt right, having him back her up, and her pulse quickened slightly, before she turned away to start the first song. She closed her eyes briefly and concentrated on the music to steady herself. It always helped to remember why she was here. This was her life, the thing that made her happy, no matter what else happened.

* * *

Hunter stared at the envelope in his hand, a feeling of dread in his body. Plain white, with his name and address in bold black letters, no return address; this couldn't be good. He slit it open, and a stack of black and white photos slid out onto his desk. They were all of him and April, obviously in an intimate situation. And not only one location, but several shots of them together in different places. "No, no, no..." he muttered. "This isn't happening, not now, dammit..." The mayoral election was in two days, and this wasn't going to help his cause any. People in this city loved Meredith Grey, and they wouldn't be happy to see him betraying her. The note inside with the photos was quite clear that these would be leaked to the press. There wasn't any indication of a blackmail threat, just the obvious fact that this would cause trouble. Who the hell was behind this? Did Meredith have suspicions and have him followed, or worse, was Thatcher pulling strings here? Damnit he knew he should have kept April at arms length.

He grabbed his cell phone to call Meredith before any of this reached her, and then set it down. This couldn't be dealt with on the phone, he needed to talk to her in person. He checked his watch, her show in Dallas would be over soon; a flight on the private jet would get him there before she went to bed. It was time to do some damage control.

* * *

"Mer, you need to see this…" Cristina said, just as Meredith stepped off the stage later that night. The applause from the crowd was almost deafening, and Meredith had to strain to hear what she was saying.

"See what?" She grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler that was positioned close to the sidelines.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I wanted you to be prepared for the worst before this hits the media."

"You're scaring me…"

Cristina held her phone out. "I just got this email, it's about Hunter."

"What? Did something happen? An accident?" Meredith took the phone, and scanned the message, a sinking feeling invading her core. Then she looked at Cristina again. "Is this for real?"

"I think so, Mer. I mean, gossip can be blown out of proportion, but I know the guy who sent me this. He wouldn't pass this along if he didn't think it was true. He thinks it's just a matter of time before it's out on the internet."

Her hands shook as she handed the phone back. "Damnit, no wonder he's not taking my calls. That bastard…" The message indicated that Hunter had been seen with a woman, in several compromising situations that left no doubt they were intimately involved. There were pictures, but she didn't have the nerve to open any of them. According to the writer of the article, this had been going on for some time.

"Having an affair is a pretty shitty thing to do," Cristina agreed, shaking her head. "I always knew there was a reason I didn't like him. What an ass!"

"The worst thing is how this will affect Mia. She adores Hunter," Meredith sighed. In a way, she felt strangely unsurprised by this. She even suspected this wasn't the first time he fooled around, but she'd always managed to push that thought aside. But for other people to notice, he was obviously being careless. That wasn't going to be easy to ignore, and it was going to be painful for all of them. Their marriage hadn't been the best, and she could weather the storm this would bring, but for him to do this to Mia was unacceptable.

"I'm sorry, Mer. You deserve better than this."

"I can deal with this, seriously..." Meredith murmured. "I just need a little time."

"The hell with that! You need a good divorce lawyer, I know someone who can take care of things for you. You want me to call him?" Cristina had her fingers poised to scroll through her contact list.

"Maybe later, Cris, okay?" Meredith looked towards the stage, where Izzie was belting out one of her big hits. Derek was standing close behind her, intent on his guitar work, a slight sheen of sweat on his face, his hair falling over his forehead. For the first time since he'd showed up in her life again, Meredith let herself wonder if she could let herself get involved with him again. Then she shook her head, unable to think clearly at the moment. "Let me process all of this, we'll talk later." She smiled briefly at Cristina before heading back to the dressing room.

* * *

At the hotel, Meredith had the limo drop her off at the back entrance, and she kept a low profile, managing to avoid the paparazzi that hovered at the front door. After walking away from Cristina, it had taken longer than she liked to get out of the concert venue, signing autographs and pasting a smile on her face for fan selfies. Despite all the diva drama during the rehearsal, the concert had gone well, but all she wanted at the moment was a nice hot bath, and maybe a really big glass of wine. Definitely a big glass of wine was in order, and then she could deal with Hunter's actions.

She pushed the button for the elevator, and within seconds, it arrived smoothly, and she stepped into it. Without looking for anyone else that might be approaching, she selected her floor and the close doors option. Just as the door started to slide together, a hand stalled it, and then Derek stepped inside.

"Oh, hey..." she murmured, sharply aware of the close quarters of the elevator car. "What floor?"

"Sixteen..."

She punched the button and stepped back, looking at him. "Good show tonight..."

"Yeah, after all the dramatics at rehearsal, but then it's not like we haven't seen that before," he agreed. He leaned one shoulder against the wall of the elevator, and gave her a slight smile before looking towards the floor indicator. In his faded jeans, and white button-down shirt, he looked almost younger than he should have. She felt older and wearier in some ways.

"Izzie manages to pull it together, I'll give her that," she said.

"She does have a good voice, and if she ditched the attitude it would make things easier."

"I know…" Meredith paused, unable to keep her thoughts on Izzie. That was the last thing on her mind at the moment. She was here alone with Derek, and the knowledge that Hunter had betrayed their marriage vows made her a little reckless. As if every heated glance, every touch in passing, every smile seemed to have led up to this moment.

As Derek turned to look at her, she moved a little closer, caught in the intense blue gaze of his eyes. It was familiar, and yet it was different. She caught a whiff of his after shave, mixed with the scent of his skin after the intensity of the stage performance. The combination was heady and sent a spiral of pure desire down to her core. Her head tipped back, just as his lowered and his mouth hovered over hers. It felt so right, so damn good, that she couldn't think of anything else at the moment but this. Without conscious thought, her body responded and she pressed against him. His arms slid around her, strong and sure.

Time ceased to matter as he kissed her; a slow, mesmerizing kiss that was seductive and warm. He teased the corner of her mouth with his tongue, and she nearly gasped in response. She could feel his soul deep hunger, as if he thought this moment might be his only chance and meant to savor it. Her own response was just as hungry. Her arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer, giving in to the temptation for the moment. All too soon, the elevator slowed and she backed away from him reluctantly, attempting to control her sudden need for more kissing. Her breathing was erratic, matched by his own.

"God, Derek..." she murmured.

"I know, I'm sorry, Mer, I shouldn't have done that." Derek raked his hand through his hair, as the doors slid open on his floor.

For a moment, she touched her mouth, feeling the imprint of his lips there. "I wanted it as much as you, don't apologize. Look, things are a little bit of a mess for me right now, but I can't say more than that at the moment. Can we talk later?"

He nodded and paused the door. "You have my cellphone number...I'll be awake for awhile yet if you want to call me. Whatever is going on, I'll be happy to listen."

"Thanks," Meredith said softly, watching him disappear as the doors slid shut again. She sagged against the wall of the elevator as it whooshed silently upwards to her own floor. She made it to her room without even being aware of it, until she was there and standing staring out the windows at the city lights. Did that just happen? Her thoughts were completely scattered, and for a moment she glanced at the phone in her hand. The temptation to phone Derek and pour everything out to him was overwhelming, just as overwhelming as the desire to see him again.

She crossed the room to the bar and poured a glass of wine, and sank down onto the sofa. Maybe she should just call Cristina and get her to come by instead; that was a safer option by far. She took a swallow of wine and then picked up the phone again, resolutely meaning to call Cristina but somehow her fingers drifted over Derek's name on the contact list instead. The thought of the kiss they'd shared was obviously influencing her, and he was right here in the same hotel, just a few floors away.

But before she could select his name from the list, there was a sharp knock at the door and she dropped the phone as if she'd been caught doing something wrong. Maybe Cristina was there, bringing tequila and Chinese food to binge on...that would be so like her best friend.

* * *

Derek had paced the length of his hotel room a few times, too restless to sit down. He knew it had been the wrong thing to do, kissing Meredith like that had been completely impulsive and stupid. And yet it was obvious she had kissed him back, just as if there had been no time lost between them. Her hair still had the same soft lavender scent as it had before, something that had haunted him for a long time. It triggered too many memories that he thought he'd put away for good. He should have known that it would be like that between them. One kiss and he was lost to the feel of her in his arms, and the heady rush of desire that sent him spinning.

He paused, and looked at his cell phone, wondering if she was going to call him. It was madness, expecting something that shouldn't happen. They had managed to form a friendship again during the tour, even if seeing her on a daily basis again nearly killed him. Hearing her light laughter, listening to the emotion she channeled into her singing, and watching her move on the stage all made him question his sanity for doing the tour. Oh, he had to admit, it was good exposure for him, and he felt grateful for the response from the fans. And if Izzie was being a little too obvious about her motives when she got close to him on stage, he could handle that. Izzie wasn't Meredith and he wasn't interested in getting involved with a girl who was such a prima donna, no matter how much sex appeal she exuded.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, he sat on the bed and his glance drifted over to the mini bar. He pictured all the little bottles in there that would offer immediate solace to his frustration. He could almost taste the burn of the whiskey, and feel the warmth it would bring as it infused his system. Maybe just one, just to take the edge off...would he be able to handle just one? He stood up and took a step towards it, going so far as to put his hand out to open bar before he snatched it back. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and headed resolutely for the door. He would go for a walk, clear his head; at least, that was his intention, he really wasn't planning on doing anything else foolish, like stop by Meredith's room to talk to her.

* * *

Meredith threw open the hotel room door, smiling a little. "Cristina...you must be..." she started to say, but then her voice trailed off as she saw Hunter standing there instead. He looked a little more rumpled than usual, and the smile on his lips didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Sorry, not Cristina, babe..." he said, shrugging. "We need to talk."

"Oh you have no idea," she muttered, letting him step into the room.

Down the hallway, Derek stopped, watching Hunter disappear into Meredith's hotel room. Of course, he shouldn't be surprised and yet he couldn't help the twist of jealousy that went through him. As he walked away, he grabbed his phone out of his pocket. "Richard, sorry to call you so late but I need to talk to you..."


	12. Buried Under

**Thank you again for the reviews to the last chapter, and a PM or two to let me know you're still out there reading. I know life gets busy for everyone, so whatever you can spare for this fic is appreciated. So here we have the day after, with Hunter arriving to see Meredith...and what will that fallout bring?**

* * *

**Chapter 12  
Buried Under  
**

_Now the truth is a ball and chain_  
_ Holding my conscience to the flame_  
_ It's covered up but still I know_  
_ The secrets of a life your guilty of_  
_ A smoking gun is what I found_  
_ The dirt I have on you is the ground_  
_ Oh, I'm buried under_

Meredith closed the door behind her, and watched as Hunter went straight to the bar and poured a generous shot of Scotch into a glass. Without saying a word, she walked past him and went to look out the window, at the array of glittering lights. She wasn't about to make this easy for him. Behind her, she could hear the splash of liquor into the glass again.

"Do you want a drink, Meredith?"

"Do I need one?"

"It might be a good idea..." Hunter's voice was closer to her, and she knew he'd crossed the room to stand behind her. She could see his ghostly reflection in the darkened glass as he joined her. "Are you going to look at me?"

She turned slowly, meeting his troubled eyes. "Give me one good reason why you cheated on me," she said quietly.

"What have you heard?" he countered.

"That your political career is in jeopardy, someone has evidence of you in an intimate situation, and that woman isn't me. Did you really think you wouldn't get caught? Did you really want to destroy our marriage, and break Mia's heart? No, you weren't thinking with your head, you were thinking with your..."

"Mer, this isn't what you think..." Hunter cut her off before she could continue.

"Oh really?" Meredith's tone was frosty. "Since you've come all this way to talk to me about this, don't even think to insult my intelligence, Hunter. I realize our marriage started out in an unusual manner, but I thought we had managed to build a good life together. You love Mia as if she were your own flesh and blood..."

"She _is_ my daughter, more so than her biological father ever could have been," Hunter said swiftly. "I love you and Mia, this doesn't mean anything."

"Stop lying! It might just be sex to you, but it's betrayal to me." Meredith crossed her arms over her chest, unwilling to give him any latitude. "Just tell me the truth this time. Who are you having an affair with?"

Hunter swallowed the last of his drink before saying anything, and she could see his jaw clench as he stalled. "First of all, I never meant to hurt you. This thing has just gotten out of control, if we can just work together to deal with the media, then we can deal with things quietly."

"Quietly? You mean, pretend this didn't happen? Shove it under the rug, and carry on with separate lives in the same house? I hardly think that will happen, and I don't want to live that way. If you want to be with someone else, then it's quite simple...talk to your lawyer and we get a divorce." Meredith stepped away from the window, and sat down, feeling strangely calm about the situation. "Just be prepared for it to be a public nightmare."

"Divorce? Mer, please..."

"Look, you messed this up. Just tell me who she is, I deserve that much."

Hunter rubbed his hand over his jaw, before dropping down on the sofa next to her. "Fine, you're right, I messed up, and I'm sorry. I never thought it would go this far."

"Who is she?" Meredith repeated.

For another moment, he fidgeted, swirling the glass in his hand. "It's April..."

Meredith's eyes widened, and she felt a sharp twist of shock go through her at his confession. "Oh my god, how didn't I figure that out? All the time you spend with her, all those long meetings and business trips...god, kind of a cliché isn't it?"

"Yeah, and it gets worse. She's pregnant."

"Seriously, Hunter? I thought you were smarter than that," Meredith laughed softly despite the situation. "She made sure to get you good."

"I'm glad you find this so amusing," he muttered, getting up to fill his glass again. "My life is falling apart and you're laughing."

"All about you, isn't it? What am I supposed to do about your problem?"

"Show me some support, stand up with me to face the press so that I don't lose the election. Other politicians have survived this sort of thing."

"Is that the only thing you're concerned about? Your career?"

"I would think you'd be concerned about the negative publicity as far as your career goes, too."

"Oh, but in my case, I will be the injured party," Meredith said sweetly. "You're the ass. Haven't you paid any attention to social media lately? You're the one caught with his pants down, literally. But Mia is going to be heartbroken, and that's even worse than betraying me."

"Do you want me to beg for forgiveness? Grovel? Tell me what you want me to do," Hunter said, returning to sit beside her. He took her hand, and Meredith wondered why she didn't feel anything more than a kind of detachment.

"Hunter, I don't really want you to grovel. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten married, but at the time it seemed like the best solution. I was too young and confused, scared about how it would look to have a baby on my own. I am always going to be grateful to you for being there for me, but maybe it meant that you sacrificed something to be there."

"No, Meredith, I wanted to marry you, I swear it. Thatcher may have suggested that course of action, but I really did want to be with you. The thing is...I never felt like you gave up entirely on Derek Shepherd. He was always there, like a ghost in the machine, hovering over our marriage. You look at Mia, and see him, and I just couldn't compete with that. Maybe I did screw around, and I'm sorry about that, but I really never meant this thing with April to get so out of control."

Meredith absorbed his words, acknowledging that he had seen beneath the facade she'd thought had been in place. "Thank you for being honest. Maybe we both went into this marriage for the wrong reasons. I thought it was the right thing to do, to have a father for my baby..."

"And I am her father, in every way that counts."

"You have been, I agree. And now you're about to have your own child, with April. Do you love her?"

"God, Mer, I don't know...this was a kick in the gut. She's been there and supportive..."

"And I haven't?" Meredith asked quietly, raising her eyebrows.

"Of course, it's just different."

"I see, so you want April to be the wife who will be there at your side, in ways that I'm not?"

"No...yes..I don't know..." Hunter buried his face in his hands.

"You should make a decision then. You don't have much time before the election."

"What should I do?"

"Do what you need to be happy. If that's being with April, then make a life with her, have a family. The election will happen, one way or another..."

"Damnit...I don't know..."

Meredith shook her head. "I can't make that decision for you. I can talk to Dad, you know he's going to be livid. And if you don't win the election, is it really the end of the world? You have your business, you'll have your new family..."

"But I really want to win this thing," he murmured. "I think I can do something good for Nashville. At least give me a few more days."

"It might not be up to me. The photos will likely be out there before we can stop it. That's the sad thing about today's social media. I can stand there with you, and put on a brave face, but it's not going to fool anyone. However, for the sake of Mia, I'm willing to do that. Once the election is over, so is our marriage." She said it softly, but she meant every word. There had been enough secrets, enough hiding...it might be time to bring things into the open.

Hunter was silent, and she could see the slump in his shoulders as he took in what she said. For a moment, she thought he would protest more, or try to convince her to give him another chance. Finally, he looked at her. "All right, I guess I deserve that. I'm surprised you're not angrier, I thought you'd throw things or yell at me. Might have been easier. To be honest, I came here to do my best to lie to you, cover up the truth so that we could pretend this didn't happen. I may not agree with your decision, but I appreciate you're willing to give me a few days at least."

"Don't thank me yet, once this gets out, you will be in major damage control. And I am still angry, but more than that I feel like this was inevitable," she said, getting to her feet.

"I suppose you must be happy, you'll be free to pursue Shepherd..."

"Don't even go there, that has nothing to do with this discussion!

"I'm going to bed now. I'll get you some pillows, you can sleep on the sofa."

Hunter slouched back tiredly. "I understand."

* * *

In the morning, Derek walked outside to where the limos were being loaded for the trip to the airport. Izzie was standing under the awning of the hotel, wearing huge sunglasses and carrying a big cup of coffee. "Just make sure the bags aren't scuffed," she directed. "God, how difficult is it to load luggage?"

Derek set his guitar case down next to his suitcase. "Izzie, just relax. The bags will be fine."

"Easy for you to say...that bag looks like hell already. Mine are Gucci, too damn expensive to be thrown around. Thank god we have a few days inbetween dates now so that I stop at home and repack..."

Not having a response to that, Derek just shook his head. Then he caught sight of Meredith coming out the door, with Hunter not far behind her. She was wearing slim white jeans, and a black t-shirt that accentuated her slight curves, and like Izzie there were large sunglasses covering her eyes. She never looked better to him, even though she seemed to radiate a tenseness that hadn't been there before. What the hell had Hunter shown up for? He managed to plaster a pleasant smile on his face as they approached.

"Good morning," she greeted him. "Are you ready for a few days rest?"

"Sure...everything okay with you?" He glanced at Hunter who was a few feet away now, talking on his phone.

"What? Oh, it's kind of complicated." She gave him a quick smile, and he was all too aware of her nearness. And of the sudden need he had to kiss her again, and help her deal with whatever was troubling her.

"Well, my offer still stands...if you want to talk, that is," he said quickly.

"Derek, there's a few things that I need to deal with," she said quietly. "I can't talk much right now, but Hunter's gotten himself into a situation. Just give me a little time, and no matter what you think when you see the news, please keep in mind that I'm okay. I want out of this marriage but it's going to be messy."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Derek couldn't help but put his hand on her arm. His heart surged at her statement; after last night and seeing Hunter arrive at her room he hadn't been expecting this.

"I'm okay," she assured him, lowering her sunglasses so he could see her eyes. While there were faint blue shadows beneath them, they were bright with expression as she looked at him steadily. "More than I expected I would be."

"Good." Derek looked up as Hunter approached, and he reluctantly backed away slightly. Hunter slid his arm around her waist then, and greeted Derek with a nod. Derek resisted the urge to do something he would regret later, and returned the nod just as brusquely. "Conrad, surprised to see you here, with the election so soon and all."

"Just came to take my wife home," Hunter said smoothly. "I thought she might want to have a quiet flight."

"Hunter, you know it's not just that," Meredith murmured, stepping away from his side slightly.

"Well, don't let me keep you," Derek said, checking his watch. "I guess I'll just take my lowly self away to the plane with the rest of the crew." There was a definite undercurrent between the couple, and the body language between them spoke volumes. He suspected he knew the reason, and it had to do with the woman he'd seen in Hunter's car that day. He clenched his fist, but held back from punching Hunter in the face.

"We'll talk soon, Derek," she said brightly, "you know, about that song you were just telling me about."

"Right, sure," he agreed, realizing for Hunter's benefit she was being politely distant. He watched them walk away, just as Cristina tugged on his arm, getting his attention.

"Derek! Stop staring at her," she muttered. "Turn around and walk away."

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." He dragged his eyes towards her.

"Please, you look like a lost puppy. I know she's going through some crap, but trust me, this will pass."

"How do you know what she's going through?"

"Who do you think she texted last night when she finished talking with him? I know all her secrets."

"So she's really okay?"

"She will be, now let's going before Izzie decides to irritate me," Cristina said. "Crap, too late."

Izzie suddenly took Derek's other arm. "Derek! I have the most amazing idea for a song!" she said excitedly. "C'mon, you can listen to the lyrics I've written down. You write songs, don't you?"

"Well, yes..." He tried to back away, but found himself being pulled along in her wake as she chattered non-stop about what she had written, leaving Cristina shaking her head.

* * *

Back in Nashville, Derek walked through the airport, guitar case over his shoulder and suitcase rolling along behind him. He was tired, and had heard enough of Izzie's ramblings during the flight about being taken seriously as an 'artist'. She did have some good ideas about writing her own stuff, but it wasn't what she was suited for. Her image was all smoke and mirrors, all flash and no substance; it would take a long time for the fans to take her seriously as something other than that.

As he made his way outside, he heard Mark calling his name. "Hey, Derek! Over here!"

He grinned at his friend, leaning against the fender of his truck, while Max barked enthusiastically from the passenger window. "Good to see you, Sloan. This has been a helluva time..."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "So you've heard the news, then?"

"I'm not sure what news you're talking about..." Derek deposited his suitcase in the truck bed and looked at Mark.

"Hunter Conrad is all over the papers today, and not in a good way." Mark pulled a folded paper out of his back pocket. "Seems our soon-to-be mayor has been misbehaving...there's pictures and everything."

"Seriously?" Derek snatched the paper out of Mark's hands and scanned the headline. "Is this for real?" There were several pictures of Hunter and a woman in an intimate embrace to go with the story. Now the tension between Meredith and Hunter made sense; just as he suspected, Hunter was having an affair.

"So it seems. Meredith say anything about this?" Mark swung into the driver's seat, as Derek settled into the passenger side. Max leaned against him happily, tail wagging as Derek rubbed his head.

"Not exactly, but she did say something was up."

"You two get along okay on the road?"

"Sure, of course," Derek said quickly. "Why wouldn't we?"

Mark raised his eyebrows over his sunglasses, indicating his disbelief at this comment. "Just friends and all that, after all these years? You weren't tempted to try and rekindle the romance?"

"Drop it, Sloan."

"Aha, you sound a little defensive, Shep," Mark laughed.

"Don't you remember that saying, what happens on tour, stays on tour?" Derek muttered.

"Doesn't that refer to Vegas?" Mark smirked. "Whatever, just don't get carried away...you got pretty messed up before. I don't want to find you passed out drunk cause she broke your heart."

"She didn't break my heart, Mark. If anything, I broke hers, and she did what she had to in order to be happy." Derek stroked Max's fur gently, as the dog laid his head against his shoulder.

"Damn, Shep...no wonder you write country music."

"Tell me again why I hang out with you?" Derek sighed, looking out the window.

"Because I'm charming and witty and tell you the truth so you don't get too full of yourself?"

"If you say so." Derek grinned despite himself, but he couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen with Meredith. And where that would leave his relationship with her.

* * *

Meredith and Hunter found themselves in a media frenzy after their plane landed. Her phone buzzed with a text from Cristina warning her about it, and security guards were already in place to escort them. A crowd of paparazzi had gathered outside the airport, and she was sharply aware that this was just the tip of the iceberg. So much for trying to keep a low profile until they were at home.

"Welcome to your nightmare," she murmured, putting on her sunglasses.

"I don't blame you for hating me right now," he replied, as they faced the crowd. Security held them back as best as possible, but it was still a sea of cameras and microphones thrust towards them. As Hunter fielded a few questions, she tried to keep a pleasant look on her face. All she could focus on was getting through this and home to Mia. She hoped that all of the gossip would be removed from Mia's view until she had the time to sit down and talk to her.

"Miss Grey!" Someone shouted at her and she looked over at one of the local news reporters, someone that had always been fair in her news stories. "Can you tell us your side of this? What's going on with your marriage?"

"I'm not really going to answer that right now. We would ask if you could respect our privacy at this time. I believe that a formal statement is going to be issued soon," she said calmly, and Hunter nodded in agreement.

"Did you get caught with a prostitute, Mr Conrad? Is that how you prepare for the election?" More questions were peppered at them as the security guards began to move them backwards, giving Meredith and Hunter a path towards the limo that waited at the curb.

Meredith shook her head as Hunter was ready to answer. "Don't let them get to you, it will only end up on the evening news."

They scrambled into the limo and the door shut them into relative quiet. "Welcome home," she sighed, as the limo moved into traffic. She looked back, wondering what Derek was going to say when he saw all of this unfolding. The memory of the kiss still lingered, the only bright spot in the last 24 hours. That, and the look of concern and warmth in his eyes this morning. She hoped that he would be able to wait a few days as well before she could speak with him again. There wasn't going to be a lot of time for anything but damage control at this point.

* * *

"Are you really serious about this plan?" Cristina demanded, after Meredith reiterated her agreement to wait until the election was over to file for divorce. It was later in the evening, and they finally had a chance to catch up on everything. Hunter was with his lawyer, trying to find out if there was something he could do to stop the flow of bad press. Mia was tucked in bed, cheerfully exhausted after telling Meredith about everything Benji did, how he was growing and making progress as far as being house-trained and how her ballet classes had been and that Grampa had taken her out for ice cream on far too many occasions. It had been a thankful distraction for awhile, listening to Mia chatter innocently about what was important to her.

"Yes, I am," Meredith said calmly. "We've been married nearly ten years, I can't just throw all of that away. Not for Mia's sake, above everything. Hunter confessed to me, and while I don't forgive him, I'm willing to give him a few days. We went into this marriage for all the wrong reasons, but I need to protect our little girl."

"You don't think she's going to find out at some point that he's not her real father? And that Hunter is an ass of the first degree?"

Meredith frowned. "Of course, someday she's going to find out, but I don't think she's ready for that. She's still too young to understand."

"And how do you think Derek is going to handle finding out the truth?"

"I'm still not sure about telling him," Meredith hedged, taking a sip of her wine.

"He seems to have his act together now. I think he's a better man than Hunter, if you want my opinion," Cristina observed. "Of course, what do I know?"

"You have a right to your opinion. I agree, Derek has been nothing but a gentleman during the tour..." Meredith paused, thinking of the kiss in the elevator and felt a flush on her cheeks.

"Wait...what are you blushing for?"

"It must be the wine. Seriously, Cristina, I know that Derek has come a long way since I had to make a decision about my life. He was the first love of my life, but he did a lot of stupid things too...how do I know he wouldn't go back to that?"

"Nobody's perfect, Mer. All I know is that he's been supportive during the tour, keeping Izzie calm, and never out drinking with the guys. That would have gotten around, trust me."

"Still...I need some time before talking to Mia about this. I never expected Derek to be popping up in my life again, nor did I want any support from him. It was just better to leave it a secret."

"Mer, don't you know that secrets never stay buried? Just make sure you tell her before someone else finds out the truth," Cristina warned her. "With Hunter's infidelity on the front pages, it won't take much for some enterprising gossip columnist to start digging into your past."

"Damnit, you're right, I didn't think about that. And damn him again for doing this to us," Meredith sighed. Her phone rang then, and she glanced at the screen. "Oh now it's Dad...he won't have anything good to say either. But then, he decided Hunter was good husband material, so he doesn't have a leg to stand on here."

Cristina snickered, as she took a swallow of her drink. "If only he'd known..."

"Yes, exactly," Meredith agreed, taking the call. "Hello, Dad...yes, you're right, Hunter needs his head examined...no, I'm not equally crazy. I just need to protect Mia, you don't want her caught in the middle of this, do you?"

She nodded and listened for a few minutes, wincing slightly at the descriptive adjectives Thatcher used for her husband. "Yes, I agree with you, and I'll need all the help I can get as far as the divorce so I'll talk to you soon. Dad, really, I'm going to be all right...love you too..."

Setting the phone down, Meredith sighed a little and gave Cristina a tired look.

"Are you really going to be all right?"

"Maybe not right away, but yeah, I will. I think it's time to take control of my own life."

"Good, let me give you the number for that divorce attorney. Even if you aren't doing this right now, you should give him a call. His name is Owen Hunt, and he's a shark. He'll make sure everything is taken care of, and you don't get taken to the cleaners. He'll take care of the press and I'm sure he can give you some advice about Mia."

Meredith nodded, before putting her fingers to her temples. This was just the beginning.

* * *

Thatcher set his phone aside, and propped his feet on the desk after his call to Meredith. She seemed extremely composed about the situation, more so than he would have anticipated, but then she had become a lot stronger over the years. He picked up the stack of photos again, and shuffled through them, shaking his head at the sight of Hunter betraying Meredith. Despite their talk previously, it was obvious that Hunter hadn't broken off the affair with his assistant. It wasn't that much of a surprise, he'd paid a lot of money to have Hunter followed, and photographed...and now this was just going to make it so much easier to manipulate things after the election. Thatcher smiled to himself as he anticipated just how well this was going to play out. Sometimes you just couldn't orchestrate a better situation if you tried...

* * *

_*Title of this chapter &amp; song lyrics from Nashville_


	13. Heartbeat Hits the Road

**Thanks as always for the reviews! I know some of you are wondering why Meredith would stay with Hunter yet, but it's all to protect Mia. And now Meredith will reveal some of the secrets to Mia and Derek, so we'll see how that plays out. Read, enjoy...review!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 13  
Heartbeat Hits the Road  
**

_This is real skin._  
_ These are real smiles and tears._  
_ This is gravity, stronger than any of your fears._  
_ This is where the heartbeat hits the road._  
_ This is where your dream becomes your soul._  
_ This is real life, don't let it pass you by, laugh and cry._  
_ This is real life, sometimes we love, sometimes we fight._

Meredith wrestled a small box out of the back of the closet, and sat back on floor, as she took a deep breath. The box was tied with pink ribbons, which were a little faded from being hidden away for ten years. She hadn't expected to have to deal with this just yet, but with the gossip swirling around Hunter she was afraid that Mia would hear something she wouldn't understand. For that reason, she'd kept Mia at home from school until the election was over. It was only a few days, after all.

She pulled the ribbons away, and lifted the lid open. There were several papers inside, along with a few pressed flowers and other small mementos. She smiled a little at the sight of Mia's first picture taken in the hospital. For a second, she was taken away, looking at Mia's little face still scrunched up and red, with a startling amount of dark hair on her head. "Oh baby, you were so tiny, and yet so determined to make noise..." she said softly. "Good lungs on you, maybe you'll take after your parents someday..."

Then she picked up a small velvet pouch and spilled out a silver chain with a small heart pendant. She blinked away a quick tear, remembering that Derek had given it to her on Valentine's day the year before everything fell apart. It wasn't expensive, but at the time it had meant the world to her. There was a small picture in the pouch as well, one of the two of them smiling happily at her high school graduation, it all seemed so long ago.

Finally, she unfolded the birth certificate, and her pulse sped up again, thinking of that day. Even though she had been married to Hunter, the document listed Derek as the father. It wasn't until Hunter formally adopted Mia that Thatcher pulled some strings and got the hospital to revise the paperwork. Meredith wasn't sure if anyone would remember what happened, but stranger things had been revealed. It only took bribery by unscrupulous reporters to get people to talk.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" Mia's voice made Meredith jump, and she turned her head to see her daughter at the door, with Benji at her heels.

"Oh, sweetheart...I'm just looking at some old things," she said, holding out her hand. "Come sit down, okay?"

"Okay..." Mia sat down on the floor next to Meredith, and Benji flopped beside her, nose on his paws.

"Look, see this is you...the day you were born," Meredith said, holding up the picture.

Mia giggled. "I was pretty little!"

"You were indeed, but you made sure to cry pretty loud to make sure we knew you were there!" Meredith laughed, before taking her daughter's hand. "Mia, I have something to tell you..."

"Is it making you sad? You look sad..."

"Oh honey, not really, but I don't want you to hear this from someone else. You know that Hunter is in the election for mayor, right? So there's a lot of focus on him, and also on us...sometimes it can get hard to deal with."

Mia petted Benji for a moment. "Is that why I didn't have to go to school today?"

"Partly, yes. I want you to know that we both love you very much, and you are the most important thing in our lives, no matter what anyone says to you. But..."

"Are you and Daddy fighting?"

"Not exactly...but I'm afraid things will be a little different here soon." Meredith paused, searching for the best way to explain the situation. "Do you know what it means to be adopted?"

Mia nodded slowly. "Uh-huh...there's a girl in my class adopted from Africa..."

"Right, I remember seeing her at the last school play. Lots of families adopt babies that can't live with their birth families, just like that. And sometimes there are different situations when babies are adopted...like if a couple splits up and the mother gets married, her husband can adopt the baby so it's all legal...oh, I don't think I'm explaining this right..."

"Mommy, was I adopted from Africa?" Mia asked, her eyes wide.

"Oh, no, honey! You are my baby, I gave birth to you...but Hunter isn't your biological father," Meredith said quietly, cringing slightly even as she said the words out loud. "He adopted you right away, and he's your father in every way. He loves you so much. I just wanted to tell you now because of the election. I didn't want you to hear something from someone else, and get confused."

"But why didn't my real Daddy want me?" Mia's eyes filled with tears, and Meredith pulled her close, stroking her hair.

"Mia, it's not that way. He left before he knew about you. We were young, and it's hard to explain everything, just that it didn't work out between us. Your bio father is someone that I knew for a long time, we went to high school together, we started out in the music business together, but somehow things just didn't work out. Then I married Hunter, and we made our family together with you. We love you, and want to make you the happiest girl in the world."

"But you said things were changing...why?"

"Yes, things are changing after the election. Hunter is moving out..."

"But why?"

"Oh sweetie, sometimes grownups grow apart and need to separate. Your father met someone else, and he's going to be with her. You and I are going to be just fine, and he promises that he will visit and love you just like always. I know this is a lot for you to understand, but I'm always going to be here for you. And your Grampa is going to be here for us too."

"Oh..." Mia said, her voice soft. "And where is my real Daddy? What's his name?"

"Well, he's here in Nashville now. I know it's hard for you to understand all of this, but I can't tell you his name right now." Meredith wasn't sure how to tell Mia that the Derek they met at the pet store was her father.

"If he's here, can I see him?"

"It's not that simple, Mia, we need to deal with the other things first, okay?" Meredith said, smoothing the hair away from Mia's forehead. "Just promise me you will let me know if anyone says something to you at school, or anyone bothers you?"

Mia nodded, swiping away tears from her eyes. "I promise, Mommy. Are you okay?"

"I'm just fine, baby. We can do anything, as long as we're together..."

* * *

Derek set the newspapers aside and wondered how Meredith was handling all of the media pressure. The headlines were all focused on the fact that Hunter Conrad had been caught with another woman on the brink of the municipal election. It was the kind of gossip that sold papers, and fueled multiple salacious comments on the internet. The only question was how long would Meredith pretend everything was still all right? She did warn him not to worry about what he read in the papers but it was difficult not to wonder about what was going on behind the headlines.

Then another headline caught his eye, and he pulled the article towards him again. There was a picture of Meredith and her daughter, caught as they were out walking their dog. Meredith looked a little irritated at the photographer, while Mia was concentrating on keeping Benji in line. Something about the little girl's expression made him look at her more intently. She had Meredith's slight build and fair hair, and the same scrunch to her nose when she was concentrating but there was something else that seemed strangely familiar to him. The tilt of her head maybe…or was it the blue eyes?

He shook his head slightly, trying to remember how old Mia was exactly. He wasn't a good judge of age in children, but he thought he'd read somewhere that she was around ten or so. A slow burn of suspicion began to invade his thoughts, making him feel slightly light-headed.

His phone rang then, interrupting him and he grabbed it to see Richard's name on the display. "Richard…what's up?" he asked, setting the magazine article away resolutely.

"I'm just trying to relax, with the election tomorrow I'm a little stressed, to be honest. Care to join me for coffee? We haven't been able to get together much since you've been touring."

Derek ran his free hand through his already messy hair. "Yeah, sure, maybe that's a good idea. I have something I want to talk to you about anyway."

"Good, how about we meet in half an hour?"

"Sure, somewhere close to the park so I can bring Max for a walk. I've been cooped up for too long in planes and hotels, and he needs the exercise."

"Good plan, I'll see you soon then."

It didn't take long to get Max on the leash, the dog was happy to go for a walk as always. As they made their way towards the park, Derek continued to mull over the logistics about Meredith's daughter. The time frame seemed to fit, but could it possibly be true that Mia might be his daughter? Or was that just being egoistic, assuming something like that? Surely she would have told him if that were the case.

By the time he spotted Richard, he was doubting his logic. "Richard, good to see you," he said, dropping down onto the bench. Two cups of coffee were already there, and he grinned to see that Richard had already taken care of the beverages. "Thanks, this is great."

"I knew you would be ready for the caffeine, I know I am," Richard said. "You look good, but a little tired."

"The tour schedule takes a lot out of you," Derek admitted. As Max settled at his feet, he opened lid on the coffee and inhaled the bracing scent.

"And how are things with you and Meredith? After your call the other night, I was worried."

"Thanks again for talking to me. I might've taken that drink, otherwise." Derek sipped his coffee before speaking again. "I think our relationship is evolving again, but now with Hunter's scandal on the front pages I haven't talked to her since we came home. But I have a question for you about her since you've been here in Nashville all these years while I was away."

"What is it?"

"Her daughter, she's about ten years old right? I left here ten years ago, Richard, what are the chances that she's mine? Mine and Meredith's, not her husband's daughter?"

For a few moments, Richard was silent, staring off into the distance before sighing heavily. "Derek, why are you asking me this now? Why stir up old memories?"

"I want to know. It fits, and I don't know why I didn't realize it before. It just came to me today, seeing a picture of Mia."

"Derek, all I can tell you is that I know Meredith married Hunter rather quickly, and there was some gossip about the fact she was pregnant . Everyone assumed the baby was his and that they married to keep things respectable. You know how the morality squad can be in these parts."

"Yes, I know." Derek sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "She walked away from me, and I'm sure her father was behind the hasty marriage to Hunter. Thatcher has his own agenda, and that would include a son-in-law that he could manipulate. I don't think I ever quite fit into that mold."

"You _were_ drinking a lot back then."

"I was, and I don't blame her for leaving, but still...I want to know the truth, if Mia is my daughter I've missed a helluva lot of her life. I can understand why Meredith wouldn't say anything at the time. But after that, I would've wanted to know."

"Adele and I always wanted children, it just never worked out. I don't blame you for wanting to know the truth. But is that going to change anything? Make your life better?"

"I don't know, Richard," Derek admitted, slumping back against the bench. "Maybe I should forget about it."

"Talk to Meredith, only she can tell you the truth. Just don't let it eat you up inside. Be sure and call me if you need help to deal with this."

"Of course, but you have your own stress to deal with. Any idea of how this election will turn out? I've missed a lot, being out of town."

Richard shrugged. "Conrad is still ahead in the advance polls, but this little scandal of his might hurt him. Nashville is still a little conservative in their beliefs, and Meredith is one of their beloved stars...he picked the wrong time to be unfaithful."

"He's got Thatcher Grey behind him, though, that's gotta make it difficult for you. Thatcher will do his best to get Conrad in there, despite the scandal."

"If I lose, I lose. I've done my best, it's up to the voters now."

Derek finished his coffee and set the cup aside. "Well, I will be out to vote for you, for sure. And I'll let you know what happens with Meredith." He stood up, and Max jumped to attention as well, ready to walk. "Thanks for listening."

"Always, Derek, that's what I'm here for. I'm just glad you're doing well, and doing what you love again. I read some of the reviews about the tour, everyone's been raving about it."

"Music is what I do best," Derek admitted. "I might mess up a lot of other things in my life, but not that."

By the time Derek got home from running with Max at his side, he felt a little more clear headed. He wasn't angry with Meredith, but he felt he deserved some straight answers. Unfortunately, with the election so close there wasn't likely much chance to speak with her; she was going to be stuck close to campaign headquarters.

"Just you and me for the night, Max," he commented, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "Maybe we should watch that race I recorded last weekend, what do you think?"

Max just wagged his tail happily, before settling on the floor as Derek filled the food bowl for him. "Food for you, and I'll have a shower all right?" Derek headed for the bathroom, stripping off his t-shirt as he went, humming a little. He should try to write a few new songs while he was home, that would be a better use of his time and his energy, rather than chase after something that might not be real.

He stepped into the shower, reveling in the steamy heat as he lifted his face and ran his hands through his sweat disheveled hair. Then he braced himself against the shower wall and let the water sluice over him in a warm caress. For a moment, he was tormented with a desire for Meredith, stronger than before. Thinking of her delicate yet supple body, slick with soap under his hands, and he groaned softly in frustration. This wasn't doing him any good, and he managed to push that fantasy aside and finish his shower more quickly than he'd first intended.

As he toweled off, his doorbell rang, and Max started to bark. "Damnit..." he muttered, grabbing his jeans and hurriedly pulling them on. Towel in hand, he hurried to the door, giving Max a command to sit. Then he opened it, coming face to face with the object of his desire as she stood hesitantly on his porch. "Meredith, what...?"

"We need to talk..."

* * *

Meredith almost backed away, looking at Derek as he stood in his doorway, half-dressed, beads of moisture still trickling down his chest, and his black hair slicked out of his eyes. "I can come back later...maybe this isn't a good time...?"

"It's fine, I just wasn't expecting to see you here. I thought you'd be busy with the election eve festivities, or whatever."

"Hunter is tied up with things, but I don't have to be there. He's got a lot on his mind right now."

"I'm sure he does, I saw the papers. He's an ass for being with another woman, for what it's worth."

She nodded, putting her hands in her jacket pockets. "Thanks. But I didn't come to talk about Hunter, ass that he is. Is it all right if I come in?"

Derek raised one eyebrow and slung the towel over his shoulder. Her heart gave a little lurch, and she wondered if this wasn't the worst idea she'd had in a long time. As he held the door wider for her to pass by, she caught the clean scent of soap on his skin. She needed to focus on what she was going to say to him, keep her thoughts away from dangerous territory.

"What's going on?" he asked, closing the door behind her.

"That's a loaded question. Derek, this isn't easy for me. Honestly, I didn't expect to find you back in my life again, after what happened between us years ago. But with everything going on with Hunter, and his affair being exposed it just seemed the time to tell you something."

"Hmmm, I can understand why you didn't expect me to show up. And I certainly shouldn't have kissed you like that when we were in the elevator…" he said quietly, looking at her steadily. The soft lamplight cast alluring shadows over his body, highlighting the hard lines of muscle, and it threw her senses off balance. She had felt the strength in his embrace when they shared that kiss, but the reality of seeing how he'd become more toned over the years made her unable to tear her eyes away from him. "Mer, are you okay?"

"What? Oh yes..." She sucked in a breath, feeling disoriented. All the time they'd spent in proximity during the tour, without addressing the fact things really hadn't changed between them seemed to taunt her. "Actually, no…I'm not okay. Maybe I shouldn't have come here now, not while I'm still with Hunter. I told you that I want out of the marriage, and I only promised to wait until after the election for Mia's sake. It's going to be difficult enough for her to understand. She's always been my priority."

"I get that, Meredith."

"Good, because I keep second-guessing myself, thinking I should have just pushed him out the door," Meredith said, taking a step closer to him. All she could think of was kissing Derek, it was the only thing that seemed to make sense at the moment.

She could see a flare of understanding in his eyes, and without thinking she closed the distance between them. Then her hands were on his face and she was pulling him closer, just as he was reaching for her. One of his hands caught the back of her head, while the other landed at her waist to pull her against him. Their mouths met and it was all she could do not to moan in response. It was real and hot, not like the memories she'd kept tucked away, and she could feel how much he wanted her. Just as much as she wanted him.

The kiss turned a little more intense, as he moved her backwards, so that she was against the wall. Her hands stroked the damp skin of his back, feeling the desire vibrating in his body. He was pressed against her in that intimate way she remembered and she rolled her hips in response, feeling more alive than she had in years. She slid her hand between them, over the tense muscle of his stomach, finding the edge of his jeans that were open. Derek jerked slightly at the touch, kissing her harder, while his own hands moved lower to cup her ass. Sweet shocks of pleasure made her gasp, and she was close to undoing his zipper when he pulled away. His eyes were dark and stormy blue as he shook his head.

"No…not like this, Meredith," he muttered. "Not after all these years, I don't want it to be like this. If we do this now, there's no going back and I don't want you to get hurt again. Damnit…!" He backed away and raked his hands over his hair furiously.

For a few moments, she could only stare at him, her breathing ragged, and the erotic need still humming in her veins. Then she closed her eyes and nodded. "I know, I'm sorry that isn't what I came here for…well, I mean…you're right, I can't do this with you now. But I want to, I want you so bad right now Derek…even though it's so wrong..."

"Just as much as I want you, to be inside of you, to make you shake and scream," he said, his voice hoarse. "I want to make up to you all the things I did wrong before, I swear I do, but not like this. You need to get your life straight with Hunter, and decide what you want to do next."

"Oh god, I just meant to talk to you tonight. How is it that things get so complicated with us, Derek?" she asked softly.

"It just seems to be that way." He leaned one shoulder against the wall, his arms crossed. He seemed composed, but she could see the way his eyes were darker with desire, and the way his abdomen still moved quickly from his ragged breathing. "What did you want to tell me?"

"It's about to get more complicated, Derek, and please don't hate me for not telling you sooner…" She gathered her courage. "You have a daughter; Mia is our child…"

For a long moment the silence stretched out between them, and she clenched her hands together to keep from trembling. There was no going back now, but she wondered if he was too overwhelmed to say anything. She looked at him from beneath her lashes, and the desire in his eyes had been replaced with sadness.

"So you were pregnant when you left me?" he asked finally, his voice a little choked. "You knew?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, it was the only thing I could do at the time, and Dad was willing to smooth things over, get Hunter involved...I just wanted to make a good life for her. You were drinking so much then; I didn't know how you would deal with it." Her words tumbled out of her, as she tried to explain.

Derek closed his eyes briefly before speaking. "When I discovered you'd left I was going to try to get you back, but all my drunken ramblings wouldn't have done much good. I never in my wildest dreams thought you were pregnant. You were right, I couldn't have dealt with it at that time in my life. Still, in ten years, you couldn't have said anything? Sent me a letter?" His tone was tinged with sadness, and a trace of bitterness.

Blinking away tears, Meredith gripped his hand. "How could I do that? I didn't know where you went, not until later when I heard you were in California, and then it was just easier to lock those memories away. Dad arranged the whole thing with Hunter, it was never the marriage I wanted, but for Mia's sake I had to make it work. Now that Hunter's infidelity is on the front pages, I thought I should tell you before some reporter digs up the past. I can't change what happened, or make up the time that you lost with Mia, but I hope you can forgive me..."

"Forgive you?" Derek blew out a frustrated breath, squeezing her hand. "After everything I put you through back then, all the broken promises and the heartache, I'm the one who needs to ask forgiveness." His voice broke a little, and his eyes were dark with emotion before he pulled her closer again. This time he held her against him in a gentle embrace, and she rested her cheek against his chest. "It's okay, Meredith, it's okay. It must have been hell for you then, I was an ass who didn't see beyond my own insecurity." His hand rubbed a slow circle on her back, soothing her just as much as the steady beat of his heart in her ear. She didn't want to move and she tipped her head up, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I've missed you so much, Derek," she whispered, and he gently wiped her tears away before pressing a kiss on her forehead. "How can I leave right now and go back to pretending, even for a few days?"

"I missed you too, honey. We'll survive this, and once you're free of Hunter we can see where we take this, all right?" He held her face tenderly, and she drew a ragged breath.

"All right." She lifted up on her toes and kissed him again, before slipping out of his embrace and fleeing out the door. Fleeing because if she'd stayed, she wouldn't be able to resist the need that still simmered between them, the need that flared despite the secrets that had been bared.


	14. The Rivers Between Us

**Thank you to all for the reviews on the last chapter. Moving along to the election and the fall out from Meredith's revelation to Derek. Hope you like it.**

* * *

**Chapter 14  
The Rivers Between Us  
**  
_The rivers between us are deep_  
_ and dark as the secrets we keep_  
_ We stand on the shores_  
_ time runnin' by at our feet_  
_ Oh, the rivers between us are deep_

Meredith took a quick look in the mirror backstage at the convention hall, smoothing a stray piece of hair into place. She was dressed conservatively in a sleeveless red sheath, a strand of pearls at her throat and her hair back in a neat chignon. Ther perfectly groomed wife of the new mayor of Nashville, she thought, wrinkling her nose.

"You look nice, Mommy," Mia observed from her perch beside her. The little girl was wearing a white dress with a full skirt, patterned with tiny blue flowers.

"So do you, sweet pea. Are you sure you want to do this?" Meredith wasn't happy that Hunter expected them both to appear on stage with him for the victory speech. It felt far too manipulative at this point, and yet here she was. "As soon as it's done, you can go home with the babysitter, okay?"

"Okay." Mia fiddled with the makeup brushes, before Meredith took a powder puff and tickled Mia's nose with it.

"There! Now let's go see if they're ready for us," she said, helping Mia to the floor, wishing they could be anywhere but here.

On stage, Hunter was acknowledging the cheers, and she steeled herself as he gestured for her to join him in the spotlight. Despite the scandal, he'd won the election, but she wondered how much Thatcher had to do with that win. With Mia between them, it appeared as if they were a united happy family. She made sure to put a smile on her face, doing her best to keep her thoughts on the present moment, even though all she could think of was the look on Derek's face when she'd told him about Mia.

As the well wishers continued to clap, Hunter pulled her against him, and kissed her cheek, pulling her out of her thoughts. "We did it, Meredith," he whispered. "Thank you for supporting me. You made it possible."

"I did it for Mia," she hissed through clenched teeth.

Hunter kissed her temple, giving the appearance of a loving husband. "Maybe I want to keep up appearances. We'll talk later, all right?" Without giving her a chance to respond, he stepped away, and waved at the crowd again.

Meredith was too startled to react, as he just flashed a smile at her and continued to accept the cheers from the crowd. He was in his element; there was no doubt about that. Again, she mustered up a smile even as she was mentally swearing at him. There was no way she was letting him have his way in this, their marriage was done. She had an appointment booked with the divorce attorney Cristina recommended. After kissing Derek again, and feeling more at home in his embrace than she ever had with Hunter, she couldn't go back to living a lie. It was time to take control of her destiny.

* * *

Derek made his way through the evening crowd at The Bluebird, and found an empty seat at the bar. He still felt off balance from Meredith's revelation, and being home alone didn't seem like a good idea at the moment. The sound of voices surrounded him, and the familiar clink of glassware reminded him of spending many evenings in this very spot in the past. Maybe it wasn't the best place to be, but it was a diversion. Still, as before, the lure of alcohol was strong as it always was when he was feeling stressed.

Mark joined him, and was already pouring a glass of soda water to hand over when Derek shook his head. "What? You want coffee?"

"What I want is a drink, preferably whiskey," Derek sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

"Seriously? What the hell's wrong with you?" Mark planted his hands on the bar, and leaned in a little closer. "Have you been drinking before you got here?"

"No, but I had to get out of the house. Just pour one shot, Mark, and walk away." The craving for the taste was almost overwhelming. "I can handle just one drink, Mark."

"I don't want to disagree with a customer, but I don't believe that's true. I've seen you drunk before, Derek; one drink was never enough."

Derek scowled at his old friend. "Let me be the judge of that, Sloan. Pour the damn drink or I'll come back there and get it myself." Then he caught sight of the television screen behind the bar, showing the results of the mayoral election. And Hunter embracing Meredith on the stage, giving the impression he was the most devoted husband on the planet. The sight of his hands on Meredith made Derek's stomach churn, not to mention Mia sandwiched between them. His daughter, his flesh and blood.

"Whatever's got you in this mood isn't worth it."

"Don't argue with me, Mark!" he snapped, taking his eyes away from the screen.

Mark looked at the television quickly, and then switched the channel to ESPN. "Look, maybe you need to talk to Richard; he's your sponsor, right?"

"He's busy with the election, not that he stood a chance. I'm sure he has enough of his own issues tonight, doesn't need mine."

"So talk to me, I listen to people rant all the time, comes with the territory," Mark urged, motioning towards the other bartender to come over and take his place. "Let's go in the back, I have a small office so we can talk in private."

Exhaling to diffuse his frustration, Derek nodded and stood up to follow Mark. As he turned, he bumped into someone, knocking a glass to the floor. "God, sorry..." he said, making eye contact. "Oh, hey, Izzie...I'm sorry. Let me buy you another drink."

She laughed, and he could tell she'd already been drinking for awhile. "That would be so nice of you, Derek! Are you going to join me?" She put her hand out to his chest, patting the soft flannel of his shirt as she smiled at him.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Izzie," he replied quickly, trying to extricate himself.

"Oh, come on! One little drink? I have some new lyrics done, you can give me your opinion. Alex doesn't think I can do it, but I can! Please, Derek..." she begged, hanging onto his arm, nearly pulling him against her as she tottered on her stiletto heels.

"Maybe some other time," he said, helping her to sit on the stool he'd just abandoned. "And maybe you need a cup of coffee instead of another drink. Do you have someone to drive you home?"

"God, you're no fun, I don't get what Meredith sees in you..." Izzie said, waving at Mark to get a drink. "All the time on tour, I could see her looking at you...damnit..." She hiccuped and seemed to lose track of her thoughts.

While he was trying to decide how to respond to her comment, Mark interrupted them, setting a glass in front of Izzie. "Here, this is the last one for you. I'll have Addison call a taxi for you when you're done this. I need to talk to Derek."

"Fine...leave..." She waved her hand dismissively. "I'm fine."

Derek hesitated for a moment, before looking at Addison who had materialized next to Mark. "I'll keep an eye on her. Don't worry," she said. "She's been here before."

"Good, thanks." He followed Mark through the crowd and into the quieter area at the back of the building. If nothing else, Izzie had distracted him briefly from the reason he was here in the first place.

"So talk to me," Mark said firmly, sitting behind his desk. "I'm not Richard, but I've known you a helluva long time and if you tell me you want a drink after being sober for years then there's gotta be a damn good reason."

"Meredith came to see me last night. She told me that she was pregnant when she married Hunter, and that Mia is my daughter," Derek said, without preamble, "how's that for a damn good reason?"

For a few seconds, all Mark could do was stare at him. "All right, didn't see that one coming. Did she show you the birth certificate?"

"Why would she make it up? It's not like she's demanding child support."

"But why tell you now?"

"She was afraid it might leak out somehow with Hunter in the media spotlight now. She wanted to tell me in person," Derek said, thinking of the conversation, and how he'd consoled her. He shook his head, his eyes dark with emotion. "Damn, Mark, I wondered about the possibility, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I have a kid, and she hid that from me for all this time. I don't know what to do right now." He was second-guessing himself now, after spending a sleepless night tossing and turning, finally dozing around dawn. Only to wake up in a cold sweat, dreaming about being in a drunken stupor, and dropping babies. Likely something Meredith would have been worried about back then.

"Does she want you involved with her daughter now?"

"I guess, I mean we didn't talk long, but she did say her marriage is over. I just don't know if I'm ready for all of this. Drinking was always my escape."

Mark gave him a look of sympathy. "I know how you feel in a way, sometimes thinking about having a kid scares the crap out of me. But the fact that Meredith told you is a good thing, she obviously wants to make things right. But I can't let you take that drink, Derek, and if you want to crash at my place so you're not tempted to drink when you leave here, that's fine with me."

"No, I should leave. You have work to do, and I need to get my head together. Maybe I'll stop in at a meeting on my way home. Thanks for listening, though."

"That's what old friends are for, Shep. Are you sure you're okay, though?"

Derek stood up, and smiled briefly. "Doing my best." He wasn't sure if he was really that fine, but he suddenly couldn't stand to talk about it any longer. Not until he could see Meredith again at any rate; no one else could answer the questions he had.

* * *

Meredith scanned the crowded room where the post-election party was being held. The room was full, and the conversation was loud as the drinks flowed freely. She sipped a glass of champagne, but her head was beginning to throb with the start of a headache. Maybe she could leave, she'd done her duty long enough. Then she spotted Hunter across the room, with April next to him, and she shook her head at the sight. When he caught her eye on them, he moved away and came to speak to her.

"What is she doing here? Thought you wanted to keep appearances up and all that?" she asked sweetly.

"She's on my staff, she had an invitation."

"Well, I hope for your sake she doesn't say anything incriminating, it wouldn't help your cause any in divorce court."

"Mer, listen about that..." he started to say.

"My lawyer will be in touch, count on it." Meredith handed him her empty glass. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home."

She left him without another word, and escaped outside, where she found Thatcher was waiting for her. "Meredith...we need to talk," he said, gesturing with his cigar towards his car.

"Not now, all right? I'm exhausted and I just want to get home to Mia."

"Then let me take you home." He held the door open to the back of the Lincoln town car, which was idling quietly at the curb. His driver was waiting for them and she sighed in resignation. Sometimes it was impossible to avoid her father's conversations.

"Fine."

"Good." He ushered her into the car, and they were settled into the quiet luxury for a few moments as the car purred away into traffic.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Meredith asked, after a few minutes of silence.

"You and Derek Shepherd...I thought that was over and done with years ago. Why are you seeing him again? Don't look surprised, you know I know about that."

"Well, he's the father of my daughter, I think he needed to know the truth after all these years, especially since he is here in Nashville again. With Hunter in the spotlight, I was afraid that we couldn't hide that fact any longer," she said, shrugging slightly. "Mia has a right to know her true father as well, with Hunter and April having a relationship. Her world is going to be drastically changed very soon."

Thatcher rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yes, of course I'd hoped that your husband wouldn't do anything stupid. However, he's proven me wrong once again. Still, I should be able to keep him in line..."

"You do that, but keep him away from me. I've had my fill of his infidelity, and I don't want to pretend any longer."

"He's just been elected mayor, do you think the public wants to have him announce his divorce?"

"Oh who cares? This isn't the 1950s! Divorce happens to the best of us, and he can go and have a life with April and they can have their baby and live happily ever after. Just leave me out of it."

"What? She's pregnant?" Thatcher asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Oh, didn't Hunter tell you that little detail?"

"No, he didn't." Thatcher frowned, staring out the window. "Ah, no matter, he still owes me his political success. He'd be nowhere without my support."

"Then he should have remembered that before screwing his assistant. Did you know about this before it all came out in the papers?" Meredith asked, already certain of his response. There was little that went on without her father's knowledge, after all.

"I may have, Meredith," he hedged. "But I had hoped to spare you the embarrassment of his actions, which is why I didn't say anything to you. I thought I had it under control."

"When are going to stop orchestrating my life, Dad?"

"You wanted my help ten years ago."

"I admit I needed it then. I know Derek might have been a drunk in the past, but he loved me. I should have tried harder to help him."

"Sometimes you have to let the person you love find their own salvation; he wasn't ready to accept your help then. You can't push people into recovery." Thatcher's voice was tinged with sadness and she looked at him closer in the dim light of the car. He avoided her eyes and looked out the window again.

"Are you talking about Derek, or someone else?" she asked.

"Just a general observation, my dear," he replied, clearing his throat. "Are you sure he can handle this now?"

"I need to talk to him again, but he deserves to know his child. And I want a divorce from Hunter, the marriage was over a long time ago."

"You've come a long way. Years ago you wouldn't have been this adamant."

"Years ago I was too scared."

"What about your career?"

"It should survive the truth, and if it doesn't, it wasn't important enough. If my fans can't accept things the way they are then they aren't really fans. In the big picture, this isn't much compared to what some people go through. Life is messy, Dad, and god knows country music is full of messy lives..." she said with a small smile.

Thatcher covered her hand with his. "You may be right, Meredith. Appearances may be everything, but underneath there are a lot of secrets. Better for you to be the one to expose them yourself."

"I'm glad you agree. Hunter seems to think he has the upper hand, though."

"Leave him to me. I will support you, no matter what." He squeezed her fingers. "After all, I love Mia and I want her to be happy. If that means letting her find out about her natural father, then so be it."

"I didn't expect you to take this stance," Meredith said softly.

"You're my daughter, why wouldn't I be on your side?"

"You've always made it clear Hunter has been groomed for the limelight..."

"Not to the point of hurting you. Leave him to me," Thatcher repeated.

"Thank you, Dad. I know it was a mess when I left Derek, but I really believe he's changed. I think he's ready to be a father, and I want to find out what it would be like to have him in my life again."

"Well, let me know if I can help."

"No offense, but maybe as a last resort," Meredith smiled a little. "This should be between us."

* * *

It was getting late when Derek finally dropped onto the sofa. Max had been waiting patiently for his return, and after a quick turn around the back yard, was now resting his chin on Derek's arm. "Sorry I'm late, Max," Derek murmured. After leaving Mark, he'd driven around for awhile, stopped at a meeting without feeling the need to get up and talk, before finally coming home. He gave himself credit for not buying a bottle, if nothing else.

He closed his eyes, letting Max's unconditional acceptance soothe him. He still couldn't shake the uncertainty that gripped him over the revelation. All these years and Meredith had kept the truth from him. Hunter had been there for Mia's first steps, and first words, all those things you couldn't replace.

His cell phone rang then, and he picked it up from the coffee table to check the display. "Meredith...hey…" he answered tiredly.

"Derek, you sound terrible. Are you all right?"

"Sure, fine. I saw the election results on the news…Hunter looked happy."

"You saw…Derek, don't be angry, he thinks everything can just go back to the way it was, and he's wrong. I left the party early, Dad brought me home. I told him that you knew about Mia."

"And how did he take that?"

"He's on my side, Derek. He may have supported Hunter for mayor, but he supports me on this decision. Blood is thicker than water, and all that."

"Does Mia know?"

"She knows that Hunter isn't her biological father, but not your identity yet. I thought we could work towards that slowly. I'm so sorry about this, Derek, I really should have told you sooner..."

"I've been thinking about this non-stop since last night, Meredith. I understand why you did what you did, but maybe I would have gotten help sooner if you'd told me about the baby. You never gave me a chance to decide what to do, and now you've had ten years with her. I never got to sing her to sleep, or comfort her when she was scared…you let another man have that privilege."

"Derek, you know that I would have done things differently," she said softly. "I wanted to be your wife. I wanted us to raise her together in a wonderful home that you couldn't provide then. I cried myself to sleep for months I wanted that so badly."

Derek sighed, and raked his hand through his hair, hearing the quaver in her voice. "I'm sorry, I know I broke your heart a thousand different ways, hurt you in ways I didn't even realize. But I was pretty damn good at pretending I didn't care. All these years, telling myself it was better for you to be with someone else, when deep down I was lying to myself. I should have fought harder for you, stood up to your father and made a life for us. I missed you, every day and every night, I could never find anyone else that I wanted to be with, never anyone else I could fall in love with. Only you."

"Derek..." Meredith started to say, and then paused, and he could hear her soft breath in his ear. "My marriage to Hunter was falling apart a long time ago, and I didn't even realize it. Now he's having a baby with April, and I've had enough of it. Having you back in my life isn't the catalyst for my divorce, but I'm glad you're here. But it's not only about the two of us, we have to consider Mia...I won't let her get caught in the middle of this. You have to understand that."

"I want that more than you can imagine, Meredith. You don't always get a second chance at life, and I want to prove to you that I'm worthy of you, and our daughter. You and me, Mer, that's how it's supposed to be. That man you always wanted me to be, I can be that man. I love you, Meredith."

Again he heard her breath, a little faster now, before she spoke. "Oh, you're sure about that are you?"

"Always, I never stopped loving you."

"That's good because I think I feel the same way," she murmured, and he felt the tension slowly seep away from him. "Let me deal with Hunter, and we can figure out what to do after that?"

"Yes, just promise me if you need anything, you'll call me. You're not alone in this now."

"I promise...good night, Derek..."

After ending the call, he sat in the dark, stroking Max's fur, wondering where they would go from here. It wasn't all right yet, but maybe it would be in time.

* * *

Meredith set the phone aside, and smiled to herself slightly. She hoped it would turn out the way it should; it almost seemed too good to be true. But there was a long way to go before anything would become a reality. She didn't need to rush into anything and mess it all up.

She heard footsteps in the corridor, and she turned to see Hunter standing at the doorway, loosening his tie. "You could have stayed longer, you know," he said tiredly.

"I had enough of it. I think we both know I couldn't stand beside you and smile as if everything was normal. It's all over, Hunter, so over."

"What if I don't want it to be?"

"You gave away any option on that when you decided to have an affair with April. So you don't get to have a say in this. We had this discussion already." Meredith crossed her arms. "I waited until the election was over the way I said I would, but we can go our separate ways now. My only hope is that we can stay civil for Mia's sake."

"And you're sure that she'll be fine with you and Shepherd getting together? I'm still her father, no matter what you say. All he did was donate the sperm."

Meredith sucked in a breath. "That's low, even for you. I told her that you weren't her biological father, but I haven't told her about Derek just yet. There's enough going on right now. That can wait." Meredith stood up, and went to open the closet door, pulling out a couple of suitcases. "But you're leaving now, Hunter. Please don't make this more difficult."

"What are you going to do when you go back out on tour? I don't suppose your record label is going to let you drop out...you can't leave Mia alone."

"Mia can stay with my father when I'm away, until we reach a more formal settlement. I hope you understand."

For a moment, she thought Hunter was going to argue with her, but he just nodded quickly and she exhaled in relief. He grabbed a suitcase and started to hurl clothes into it without caring how they landed. "Fine. Just remember how much I helped out when you needed me, Meredith. I was there when you gave birth, and I was there when Mia was growing up. I can give her stability just as much as you can, maybe more so if you're traveling. No court is going to deny me joint custody."

"You're starting a new family, with a child of your own," Meredith said softly. "How is that going to impact things?"

"Damnit, Meredith!" Hunter shouted, slamming the suitcase shut. "Stop throwing that in my face! Don't pretend you're not going to jump into bed with Shepherd and confuse our daughter! Do you really think he's changed that much? He's still an alcoholic, still broke, and he could hurt you all over again! Do you really want to expose Mia to that?"

Meredith glared at him. "Keep your voice down. Mia's sleeping; you don't want to wake her. Whatever I do with my life from now on is my choice. Derek has changed..." She stopped, hearing a sound in the hallway, a scuffle of claws on the hardwood just before Mia peered around the door frame with Benji at her side.

"Mommy...?" Her voice was sleepy, but a little quaver indicated she had heard them arguing. It broke Meredith's heart to think of what she must have overhead.

"Everything is fine, honey," she said quickly, going to crouch beside her. "Let me take you back to bed."

Hunter stepped up closer, putting his hand on Meredith's shoulder. "We'll both tuck you in, Mia. Let's go, sweetheart..." He lifted Mia up gently, kissing her cheek. "Don't you worry about a thing; it's all going to be okay."


	15. It's All Good

**So 5 out of the 5 reviews for the last chapter were mainly focused on removing Hunter from the scene...so who am I to deny y'all the MerDer love you want? Hope you like how it goes.**

* * *

**Chapter 15  
It's All Good  
**

Meredith tucked Mia into bed, with Benji on one side of her, and a favourite stuffed bunny on the other. "Did you have a bad dream, sweetie?" she asked, glancing back at Hunter who was still standing at the foot of the bed.

"I don't remember. I just heard you talking…my real Daddy, is that the man we saw with Max? You said his name was Derek before and you said something now about him. Is it him?"

For a second, Meredith hesitated, and then she hugged Mia, and kissed the top of her head. "Mia, I'm so sorry. I just didn't think it was a good time to tell you. But I didn't do it to hurt you. Derek is your father, that's true, and he wants to be part of your life. I want you to meet him again, really soon, okay?"

Mia nodded slowly, and Meredith wished she could erase all of this insecurity from her daughter's eyes. Everything had turned upside down for the little girl, and she wished it could have been different from the start.

Hunter sighed loudly behind them. "Mia you know I will always be part of your life. Just because your mother and I are not staying together doesn't mean I don't still care about you. You'll always be my little girl."

Meredith was grateful he was being considerate at the moment. The last thing she wanted at this late point in the evening was to upset Mia even further. They spent a few more minutes talking quietly with her, until her eyelids drooped and she started to drift to sleep. Benji curled into a ball beside her, giving them a look as if to scold them for disturbing his little human. He was getting very protective of her.

Quietly, they left the bedroom, making sure the nightlight was on, not speaking until they were further down the hallway. She leaned against the wall, feeling emotionally exhausted. "I don't want to fight with you anymore, Hunter. Can we please be civil, and move on with our lives? You have April, I have Derek, and Mia needs to get to know him."

"We can discuss this when we're both a little calmer; I agree I was out of line before. Maybe you're right, we need to move on. I know I was never your first choice for a husband, I just hoped you might have actually felt something for me." Hunter shrugged, a wry smile on his mouth. "It's not easy letting go."

"But if we're going to be happier in the long run, it should be worth the pain. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have ghosts in their past. I thought I did a good job of burying the past, but obviously I never did. Derek coming back to Nashville wasn't something I ever expected to happen. You have to believe me."

"I do, but just as obviously, the two of you have some complex connection that never went away. I hope you can be happy, and that he doesn't break your heart again. Because this time, I won't be there to pick up the pieces. My lawyer will be in touch with yours, they can work out the details." He touched her cheek briefly, before turning to walk away to the bedroom and get his suitcases.

* * *

"Seriously? He just walked out, and that's it?" Cristina said, raising her eyebrows as Meredith filled her in on the details in the morning. "No drama?"

Meredith filled their coffee cups again, and took a spot at the kitchen table. "For now, anyway. I have that appointment with Owen this afternoon, so we'll see how it plays out once the lawyers get involved."

"How's Mia?"

"I kept her home again today. Poor baby, I feel so bad about last night. She's still sleeping."

"When are you going to bring Derek into the picture?"

"Soon, I think she'll need something fun to do, maybe he can bring his dog along and they can bond over that. I don't expect it to be instant father-daughter time, but I hope it goes okay." Her phone vibrated and she glanced at the incoming text message. "Ugh, it's Alex again, wondering how soon I'll be ready to hit the road again."

"Much as I hate to say it, you really need to answer him. He can make things difficult for you."

Meredith wrinkled her nose, before taking a sip of her coffee. "I want to stay home and make sure Mia is okay. I'm tired of listening to record company executives tell me what to do."

"What are you telling me? You want to start your own company? Be your own boss?"

"Why not? Lots of artists do that, I could recruit some upcoming singers, be a mentor...what d'you think?"

"Hmm...it's a thought I guess. I'd like to see the look on Karev's face when you tell him you're going to leave Storm Records," Cristina smirked.

"It makes sense, Cristina. Let's give this some serious thought."

"You're making a lot of changes in your life now, Mer, are you sure you want to jump into this too?"

Meredith frowned, lifting her cup again. "Okay, let's keep it as a plan for the future, I guess, but I want to get out away from Storm Records, all right?"

"All right, good. So you can text Karev back and tell him that the rest of the tour is a go. He'd likely hit you with a helluva penalty if you backed out now anyway. On the other hand, you're getting a lot of attention with the divorce and all, and it's all positive. Even Good Morning America is asking for an interview, maybe we can work that in while you're in New York?" Cristina asked, looking at her iPad for details. "I think you should do it."

"I hate that sort of thing."

"It's good for your image, you can go on and tell your side of things. Everyone loves to hear stuff like that."

"Fine..." Meredith waved her hand, "make it happen then. Just make sure that they don't ask anything about Mia."

* * *

Derek checked his phone, seeing a text from Alex reminding him about the next leg of the tour coming up. He poured a cup of coffee and went to sit outside on the porch to enjoy the early morning sun. He wondered briefly how the tour would play out this time, with the evolving relationship between him and Meredith.

His phone interrupted his thoughts, and he smiled to see it was Meredith calling. "Good morning, Mer, how did last night go?"

"Hi Derek, it was bad and then it was okay, in a weird way," she replied. "Mia knows about you, she heard Hunter and I arguing after he came home. Your name was thrown into the conversation and she heard."

"How did she take that?"

"Well, she was upset and confused, of course. I kept her home again, but I don't want to keep her away from normal routine for too long. I think you two should spend time together before the tour starts again, maybe we can hang out and just do something fun?"

"Whatever you think is best."

"I was thinking we could have the dogs involved too, give her a little something else to focus on."

"Sure, I could help her with a little training, or teach Benji to shake a paw," he suggested.

"That sounds like a plan. Is tomorrow all right?"

"Sure, maybe you could come to my place. The backyard is a good place for a little dog to run, and then I could impress you with my barbeque skills for dinner."

"I'm surprised, you never cooked at all before," she said, thinking there must be a lot of things about Derek that she didn't even know about.

"It's surprising what you learn when you have to. It won't be anything gourmet, but I promise it'll be good. Does Mia have any food allergies?"

"Oh no, she's always been healthy and not a fussy eater," Meredith said. "I'm sorry you haven't had a chance to know her before this. She's really a sweet girl, and I see a lot of you in her. I think that was a big issue for Hunter to deal with, to be honest."

"I hope she'll be okay with meeting me. I really have no idea what I'm going to say," he confessed.

"Just be yourself, and don't worry about it too much. We'll take it slow." Meredith paused. "Have you heard from Alex about the rest of the tour?"

"Yeah, got the text. I'm surprised you want to keep on with it, after all that's happened."

"As Cristina reminded me, I'm contractually bound to finish the damn thing, so there's not much I can do about it at this point. And I truly hate to disappoint the fans that have paid their money to see me. The other thing is I'm supposed to do an interview with GMA about all of what's going on...as far as Hunter and April. I don't want them to bring Mia into it, just so you know."

"Are you sure you want to do that? You don't want to drag any of our history into this, after all."

"I can't hide forever, Derek. The fact we had a relationship before isn't a secret."

"The fact we have a child _has_ been a secret, Meredith. Do you really think it's a good idea to go on national television? Something like that has a tendency to come out when you least expect it."

"So come with me, make sure to keep the focus on us."

"I don't know, let me think about it."

"I understand your concerns, Derek, but sometimes it's better to give them an interview before they start to make things up to get ratings, or sell magazines."

"I know, it just seems sudden. I'd like to have a little time with you, before the rest of the world finds out. I can't wait to see you again."

"I want to see you too, tomorrow can't come soon enough. But I have a meeting with the lawyer today, and that's going to eat up a lot of time."

"All right, but call me if you need to talk later. I'll be around, hanging out with Max or just out for a run."

"I'll give you a call anyway, now I'm picturing you all hot and sweaty after your run," she said softly, so that his pulse jumped in response.

"You could always come and help me shower," he teased her.

"Mmm…let me think about that," she laughed, a hint of promise in her tone. "Maybe we could use some alone time to discuss the tour."

"Oh I agree, we definitely need to discuss making music together. Not that I want to rush you into anything…"

"You wouldn't be rushing me into anything, Derek…it's been ten years, after all! Now, I really have to get going. Cristina's waving at me, and pointing at her watch. Enjoy your day, I'll talk to you later."

Derek ended the call, feeling suddenly lighter than ever. He jumped to his feet and went inside, unable to sit still. He wasn't going to get his hopes up that Meredith would really come by alone later but the house needed to be cleaned up and it would keep him busy. He felt as giddy as a kid expecting his girl crush to come by, and he grinned to himself. Whatever happened, he wasn't going to mess things up this time.

* * *

Meredith rang the doorbell at Derek's later that evening, feeling slightly nervous and mostly happy. The meeting with Owen had gone well, he'd outlined a plan of action and they reviewed the assets and custody options. He would get in touch with Hunter's attorney now and take it from there. Cristina had been right as usual, the man was focused and accustomed to dealing with celebrity clients and promised to get the divorce done quickly and quietly. It seemed like things were finally falling into place.

Then Mia was invited to a sleepover at her best friend's house, and Meredith thought it would do her good to have a little girl fun. Benji was invited to join them, so it was with a clear conscience that Meredith was able to slip over to see Derek.

She could hear the sound of Max barking inside, and her heart jumped again as the door opened. Derek leaned against the open door, outlined by the light behind him, and she was taken again by how good he looked. Not half-naked this time, but wearing jeans and a blue shirt that made his eyes seem even more intense. He held his hand out to her, beckoning her inside. She took a calming breath, and stepped inside.

"You made it," he said, closing the door behind her. "I wasn't sure if you were going to."

"I did. Mia had a sleepover invitation, and wanted to go, so I don't have to feel like a bad mother. And I wanted to see you…" she said, smoothing her hands over the simple summer dress she'd picked.

"You look perfect." He seemed to understand her sudden nerves, and for a moment they just stood and let the moment stretch out. The anticipation of what the night might bring was humming in her veins. Then he took a step closer and again she met him half way, so that his hands landed at her hips easily. The house was quiet around them, and they were locked in a little private bubble for the moment. They were both still silent, their breathing quickening before he spoke again. "God, I missed you," he whispered, as she melted against him.

"I missed you, too," she confessed, as he took her face in his hands. Their eyes devoured each other, and her breath caught suddenly in her throat. Very slowly, he bent his head to hers, and captured her lips under his, and consumed her, endlessly and sensuously.

Her body responded to the familiar scent of him, of the texture of his lips against hers; it was perfect and mind numbing and utterly addicting. His fingers threaded into her hair, spreading tingles along her spine as she met his kiss feverishly. This was what she'd craved and she clung to him to stay upright. He kept on kissing her, taking her mouth over and over, his hands sliding over her shoulders, bared by the sleeveless dress. Then his mouth followed, trailing kisses along her throat, down the scoop neck of the dress.

It felt so right and familiar that Meredith could only moan softly in pleasure, and for a moment she forgot about everything else except the feel of him against her. His clever hands moved down her body, inching her skirt higher. Then he was caressing her, playing with her so that she was instantly aching and wet. The years all fell away and she remembered the way it had been between them, all heat and thrill and need. After so long, to be here alone together seemed like a dream come true. "Come with me," he said gently, taking her hand to lead her towards the bedroom. "I'm sure this isn't as luxurious as what you're used to…" he started to say, but she held up her hand.

"Derek, my home is big and too extravagant for the most part," she admitted. "Hunter liked the prestige, but this place suits you." The room was furnished with a mixture of antique and eclectic pieces that worked together somehow. There were two guitars leaning against the wall, and several piles of sheet music were close by to an easy chair at the window. The bed was covered with a soft comforter and several pillows were tossed haphazardly over it. A ceiling fan rotated lazily overhead, adding a little ripple of air movement.

"It's comfortable," he agreed, taking her into his arms again. For a moment, he was content to just hold her, and breathe in her familiar scent. "Meredith, let's just take this slow…" he murmured. "There's no rush, no need to rush into bed, is there?"

"Mmm, it seemed that way before," she teased him gently, but he could feel her body relax a little more against him.

"I have a lot to make up to you, and I don't want it to mess things up again."

She pulled away, and wandered over to look at his guitars, taking the oldest one up in her hands. "You still have this one!"

"The one I had when we started out…of course I kept it. There's a lot of memories associated with that," he assured her.

"Play something for me. I want to hear what you've been working on." She settled herself on the bed, looking at him expectantly.

"All right." He joined her and rested the guitar across his lap, strumming a few chords thoughtfully. "This feels like old times, sitting with you like this. We wrote a lot of songs together, Mer. I thought of you a lot when I was writing alone, wondering if you would like them."

She was quiet as he played, and he started to sing one of his latest compositions. "In the middle of the dark night, I'll be your one light shining…I'll keep you safe until the red sunrise…be your one light shining…" It wasn't the same intensity with the acoustic guitar; it seemed a little moodier than playing with the electric. "From now on, never gonna be alone, if you get lost I'll be there to bring you home…"

After a few more bars, Meredith joined in; blending her voice to his in the harmony they had before. "Heaven knows there ain't no ghosts in this house, close your eyes baby, let the candles burn out…"

When he played the last chord, he met her eyes, and they shared a delighted smile. "That was great, Derek!" she enthused.

"Thanks, sounds good with you singing along. Maybe we should think about doing a duet on stage again sometime…" He found himself leaning forward, closer to her again, meeting her mouth in a soft kiss. He hadn't meant it to be anything sensual, just an expression of happiness at having her with him. But her lips parted, and they moved closer together, suddenly more passionate. He buried his fingers in her hair, as she made a soft sound of pleasure, kissing him back. The guitar was pushed aside as he tumbled her backwards against the pillows, fitting himself against her, her arms sliding around his back.

The kiss was slow and thorough, as they took the time to explore and tease, feeling the familiar thrill building between them. Somehow he managed to open the buttons on her dress, his fingers shaking as her skin was exposed. He kissed a slow trail down her body. For a brief moment, he lifted his eyes towards hers, and she just nodded her consent. Within moments, he dragged her lacy panties away from her. Again, he touched her skin with his lips, and whispered softly, "I love you…"

With every kiss and every inch of skin he revealed, he continued to whisper "I love you" until she was completely bared and open to him. He lifted up to his knees and quickly removed his own shirt. "Are you ready for this?" he asked, looking at her with that seductive smile on his lips that she remembered so well, yet there was also a bit of hesitation in his voice.

"I want this – I want you – I don't want to hide how happy you make me," she assured him, lifting up and kissing him softly, then with more intensity, as their desire rose again.

His hands roamed her warm body, tracing the curves that he knew so well. Then he quickly pinned her beneath him, and started to tickle her so that she giggled and twisted until she was breathless. "You sound so cute when you giggle – I love to make you laugh," he told her, finally relenting and sitting back. Her hair was tousled and spread across her shoulders. "And you look good enough to eat," he said, devouring her with his eyes, seeing the sexy rosy glow on her naked body.

Unable to resist, he started to lick every part of her from the inside of her thighs, and across her taut belly, to her breasts, rubbing her nipples with his thumbs. Then he kissed his way up to her lips as Meredith moaned again, and while one hand stayed at her breast, his other went to her clit and teased her into ecstasy. He slid two fingers into her and moved fast, then slow, until she was writhing beneath him, desperate for release.

She felt soft and wet and creamy against his fingers, and he loved the look on her face as she started to climax. "Please, Derek, please -" she whimpered, aching and close to the edge. "God, I need you inside of me – please-" she begged him, pulling at him. His senses were overloaded with the taste and the scent of her, and he was more than ready for her. Within moments, he discarded the rest of his clothes and grabbed a condom from the beside table. When he knelt between her legs again, he found his hands were shaking as he slid the sheath over him.

Gently, she put her fingers over his, and their eyes met again. "I feel like a kid," he confessed, "like I've never done this before."

"It's like a first time again, isn't it? I like the thought of that," she said softly. "Make love to me, Derek." Her hand grasped him, so that he shuddered in response as she brought him closer. Then slowly, he parted her damp skin, sliding bit by bit into her until they were fully joined. She squeezed around him tightly, exhaling in satisfaction as they savored the sensation. Her body fit him just as he remembered, and they clung to each other, skin to skin everywhere as he claimed her lips again.

Moving slowly, finding their old rhythms, Meredith felt more aware of her body than ever. Only Derek could excite and satisfy her like this, and she let her hands stray along his back, feeling his muscles flex as he moved. Then her mind went blank, and she let herself just feel how he filled her, the force of his slowly increasing thrusts, and the caress of his tongue on her skin as he licked her throat.

"Meredith...you feel so damn good..." His voice was rough with passion and he shuddered, pressing his face against her should as the next thrust took her deep and hard. "I don't want to come yet, but I don't think I can hold on..."

"Then don't,...just let go," she urged, lifting her hips against him. His pelvis ground against hers, circling enough so that he rubbed against her sensitive clit until she was nearly mindless with need. Her body clenched, locking tightly around his as she climaxed with a sob. Her release spurred his own, and he drove into her faster and harder as if claiming her again. She held onto him, encouraging him to keep going. Everything that hadn't been said between them - the pain of the past, the need of the present and the hope of the future, all seemed to fuse between them. As he kissed her again, his body quivered and she rocked with another climax that met his. He pulsed with his release, shocking them both with the intensity before he collapsed over her, his breathing harsh against her hair. Neither of them was ready to move, simply unable to let go. She pressed a kiss against his shoulder, now damp with sweat, and enjoyed the weight of him on top of her.

"It's the same, but not…" she whispered. "Like coming home again, it feels so right."

"I love you, I always have. That never changed."

"I love you, Derek. I love that you came through to the other side of the darkness that you were lost in, and that you came back to me. I don't want to lose you again."

"I hope we can make it work this time, honey," he said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "Nothing else matters but being the man you want, and working on being a good father. Let me show you I can do this. I know you're scared and so am I..."

"So long as we're together, I think we have a chance," she whispered, lifting her hand to touch his face gently. He kissed her again, more tenderly this time, letting the slow burn of desire ignite between them again.

* * *

Much later, Derek rested his arm around Meredith's waist, listening to her even breathing. It seemed like forever since he'd felt this content, and it wasn't just the sexual release; it just felt right to have her there with him. The ceiling fan above them cooled the sweat on his skin, and he felt as if nothing could ruin the moment. She moved then, arching against him and he was suddenly aroused all over again. "Didn't you say something about the shower?" she murmured, her voice thick with desire and temptation.

"That sounds like a good idea," he agreed, sliding towards the edge of the bed. "Give me a minute to get the water running, all right?" He stood and looked at her, still rumpled and rosy against the sheets. Then he padded away to the bathroom, humming slightly. After a minute, with the water cascading and warm, he was about to call her when he felt her hands on him.

"It's not too big..." she murmured, pressing against his back.

"What? You never complained before..." he teased, handing over the soap.

Meredith giggled, a throaty sound that made him even harder. "Not that size matters, but I was talking about the shower stall.."

"Thank god, I was ready to be offended." Derek's tone was light, but his gaze darkened, watching the frothy trail of soap inching down her body. Drops of water chased it along her abdomen, and he slowly traced the drops with his finger. Lower still, until he slid a hand between her legs. "Do you want this slow, or hard and fast?" The water sluiced between them, hot and steamy in the enclosed space.

"Whatever you want, it's all good," she replied, wrapping around him. "We have so much time to make up for. Let me do this for you this time." She slid to her knees in front of him, looking up at him. "Time to make you happy..."


	16. Into the Fire

**I thank you all for the reviews to the last chapter, I know it was a long wait for the reunion! Of course, that doesn't mean everything is perfect. And I'm not just talking about Hunter, though he's part of this chapter. **

* * *

**Chapter 16  
Into the Fire  
**  
_ Into the fire_  
_I'm reunited_  
_Into the fire_  
_I am the spark_  
_Into the night_  
_I yearn for comfort_  
_Into the night, Into the fire_  
*Song lyrics from "Into the Fire" by Sarah McLachlan*

Meredith rolled over, disoriented for a moment by the strange surroundings. Then she smiled a little, thinking it was almost like one of those lovely dreams you have, only this time instead of being disappointed on waking, it was still real. She was still here, Derek was sleeping soundly beside her, and they had reunited in a most satisfying way. Her body ached in that pleasurable way that she'd almost forgotten about. If she were a cat, she would still be purring right about now.

Her eyes drifted shut again, and she was almost lulled back into sleep when the harsh sound of her cellphone jerked her awake. She fumbled on the bedside table, trying to remember exactly where she'd placed it earlier, nearly knocking a lamp to the floor in the process. Derek sat up as well, just as her fingers closed on the phone. She looked at the call display, and her pulse pounded in her ears. The number was from Mia's phone, the one she was given to use on sleepovers in case she felt scared, or if she wanted to come home early.

"What is it?" Derek asked sleepily, falling back against the pillows.

"Mia..." she replied quickly, answering the call. Expecting her daughter's voice, but instead it was the mother of Mia's friend on the line. "What? Is she all right?" Already moving, Meredith was halfway out of bed, trying to find her dress. "No, she was fine all day, oh my god! I'll be there as soon as I can, where are they taking her? Of course, of course...thank you!" She set the phone down, looking at Derek in shock. "I have to go...it's Mia..." She took a shuddering breath, feeling helpless suddenly. The previous feeling of contentment was shot to pieces.

"What's wrong? Meredith, calm down," he said, on his feet immediately. He pulled her against him, and she welcomed the embrace. "Is she sick?"

Meredith nodded silently, before speaking, her words muffled against his chest. "That was Sarah's mother, where Mia was staying overnight...Mia woke up, feeling nauseous and burning up with a fever...they had to call for an ambulance, they think it's appendicitis...god, Derek! I have to get to the hospital...she's sick and I'm not there..." She pulled away from him, and looked around for her clothes, scattered around the floor.

"All right, we'll get there as fast as possible."

"You're coming with me?"

"Of course. For one thing, she's my daughter too, and for another thing you shouldn't drive right now. What good would it do anyone if you got in an accident?" His voice was calm, and he cupped her face in his hands. "We're in this together, remember?"

"Good, that's good..." she said, blinking away another round of tears. He kissed her gently, before releasing her to gather up her clothing, while he did the same. Max peered around the corner of the door, his ears back as if uncertain what was going on. Derek called him in, and ruffled his fur quickly.

"You have to stay home, Max. Can't take you along this time, go back to sleep..."

* * *

At the hospital, Derek paced in the waiting room while Meredith was with the doctor. Though it had seemed like forever, the drive to the hospital had been relatively quick, given the late hour. Meredith had been calmer, but still berated herself for letting Mia go to Sarah's. "I feel guilty, Derek...I was just happy to have the time to see you, and now she's sick!"

"Mer, you couldn't know she was going to have an appendicitis attack," he'd said, glancing at her. "Just because you were in bed with me doesn't make you a bad mother, does it? Are you sorry you were with me?"

"No, not sorry...just guilting myself," she replied, putting her hand on his arm. "I'm glad you're here, and that we were together..."

Now he raked his hand through his hair, wishing he'd stayed with her but it all happened quickly once they got to the ER. The nurse whisked her away to talk with the doctor, leaving him alone with his own worries.

"Derek…" Meredith hurried out to take his hand, and he took it quickly.

"Is she okay?"

"They confirmed it's appendicitis, they've already prepped her for surgery," she said, looking up at him. "The faster they operate, the better it is. Luckily they got her here fast enough. They say it's pretty routine, but still…"

"I know, Mer." He folded her against him, feeling her body shaking. "I'm sure they're right, it's just routine. And when she wakes up she'll have a great story to tell."

Before she could reply, they heard several raised voices outside the waiting room. "Damnit…" he swore under his breath, seeing Hunter stalking through the door, followed by Thatcher, as well as Alex, Izzie and Cristina. There seemed to be a few of the local media assembled as well, holding up cellphones to take pictures. How everyone had managed to show up was a mystery to him. He was obviously behind the times as far as social media. "Did you call Hunter?"

Meredith shook her head slightly. "I had to give his name when I signed off the release form at the front desk. I guess they got in contact with him, I mean he is legally her parent as well, Derek…"

He stiffened at that, realizing it was true but it still grated on him. He had a bad feeling this was about to get ugly, very quickly, and he braced himself for the verbal onslaught.

"How is Mia?" Hunter demanded, looking at Meredith and then Derek, scowling as he did so. "Is she all right?"

"She'll be fine, it's just appendicitis," Meredith said swiftly. "They're already up in surgery."

"What? How did this happen?"

"It's not something you can control, Hunter," Derek said evenly. "She'll be fine."

"Fine? What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I was with Derek, Mia was staying overnight at Sarah's," Meredith said.

For a second Hunter merely looked at their rumpled clothing and passion tousled hair, the obvious tell tale signs that they had both just gotten out of bed. Then he just shook his head. "Oh of course…and while you two were screwing around, Mia was getting sick!"

Thatcher stepped in between them. "Listen, don't start on this here," he murmured. "This isn't the time for theatrics…" He glanced over his shoulder at the media.

"Yes, let's just sit down," the auburn-haired woman next to Hunter urged him. Derek realized belatedly that this must be April, as she placed a proprietary hand on Hunter's arm.

"I'm not sitting down, not when my daughter is being operated on. Where's the doctor? I want to know what his credentials are!" Hunter threw off her hand and started towards the door. "I'm the mayor; that should count for the best care this hospital can give us."

"She's not your daughter," Derek found himself saying, despite the pleading look on Meredith's face.

"Now, now, let's all calm down," Thatcher spoke up again, trying to herd everyone away from the prying eyes of the media.

"What are you talking about?" Alex inquired, looking at Derek.

"What are you doing here?" Derek countered. "You aren't related to anyone here."

"I'm the head of the record company; I have sources that let me know when any of my artists show up at the hospital. Just good business, keeping tabs on all of you." Alex smirked, as if sensing this was too good a story to keep quiet. He looked at Meredith intently. "What's this about? Do I need to get the lawyers involved?"

"It's none of your business," Meredith said crisply. "You aren't family, you need to leave."

"She's right, evil spawn," Cristina spoke up. "This is a family moment."

"You're not family," Alex pointed out.

"She's my person," Meredith said. "Just leave, please Alex…"

"Not until I get the details on this."

"Alex, my daughter is having surgery, can we deal with this tomorrow?"

"Wait, your daughter is ten, right? And Derek left Nashville ten years ago…" Alex looked at both of them. "She's your kid, right?"

Derek sucked in a breath, realizing he should have kept his mouth shut but it was too late. At this point, what else could he do? He took Meredith's hand, and she gave him a nod of agreement. "Yes, I'm Mia's biological father…"

"Oh my god, Shepherd, you just had to say that?" Thatcher frowned. "It's bad enough that my daughter's husband has moved out of the house and is having a child with another woman. Now we'll have this to deal with." He pinched the bridge of his nose and glared at the media who was gathered outside the waiting room, as if scenting blood. "Can we agree to keep this bit of news between those of us here at the moment?" This time his glare encompassed the people inside the room.

"Believe me, I'm not about to say anything," Hunter muttered.

"Look, this is big news," Alex said, holding up his hands. "But I understand you want to keep things quiet for now. I'm willing to go along with this, but not for long. Can you imagine how much interest this story will generate in the tour? The fans will eat this up!"

Cristina took hold of Alex's jacket and jerked him forward. "Listen to me, this isn't going to be negotiable. Until Meredith is ready to make the news public, you keep your lips zipped. Are we clear?"

Izzie made an attempt to pull Alex away from Cristina, but it didn't help. He managed a short nod. "Crystal, Ms Yang. Now let me go."

"You just had to make this about you right now?" Hunter shook his head angrily, and stepped closer to Derek again. "You asshole, I should have known it wouldn't be long before you were sleeping with Meredith again. It's always been about you, ever since the two of you met."

Derek's hands clenched, and he launched himself at Hunter before anyone could move. The two men fell backwards, towards the floor with Derek's fist landing squarely on Hunter's jaw.

"For god's sake, stop! This isn't helping anything!" Meredith said, as Alex jumped forward to try to help. With Thatcher on the other side, they managed to break up the fight after a few moments. "What the hell do you think this is going to solve? Don't you think this is going to be all over the news now? So much for keeping things quiet!" She threw her hands up in frustration, as Derek wiped the blood from his nose. Hunter had managed to land a blow or two as well.

"I'm sorry, Mer," he murmured.

"Damn men and their egos," she sighed, handing him a tissue.

Thatcher kept his hand on Hunter, holding him in place. "And you, what did I tell you?" he hissed. "You have an image to uphold, damnit. Provoking him isn't too smart."

At that point, one of the interns popped into the waiting room. "Dr. Bailey just wanted me to let you know that the operation is going well so far, and everything should be fine. I'll be back as soon as Mia is in recovery."

"Oh thank god," Meredith breathed, as Derek felt the same wave of relief. He slid his arm around her waist and kissed her temple. At least that was one less thing to worry about. The rest of their problems seemed less insurmountable now that Mia would be all right.

* * *

By the next morning, the photos of Derek and Hunter engaged in a brawl in the hospital waiting room were all over the local media and internet. In the sunny kitchen of her house, Meredith set aside the Ipad tiredly, picking up her coffee cup instead. It all seemed like so far removed from reality, like some bad dream.

Cristina looked at her across the island, raising her own cup. "Well, this is going to be interesting," she said, indicating the papers.

"That's stating the obvious. I guess we're in for a wild ride."

"You need to make a statement, Mer. Put your side of things out there before Hunter does. It's the best thing."

Meredith sipped her coffee before answering. Mia would be in the hospital for a few days, needing to recover from the operation. Thankfully, there had been no complications, just as routine as Dr. Bailey had originally said. Unfortunately, the rest of life was even more complicated. "What am I supposed to say?"

"Say that Derek is Mia's father, but at the time you were both young, things fell apart and it was the best thing for the baby to keep it quiet."

"He wants to be part of Mia's life now."

"Good, but he went about it the wrong way."

"I thought you liked Derek. What happened to all the pep talks you gave me about him?"

"That was before he spoke up about Mia. You need to consider how it will be skewed in the media."

"Derek has changed, and we have a new relationship now. I'm not going to hurt him by twisting our past."

"Meredith, the truth is worse, don't you think? He was a drunk, you were pregnant, and he couldn't provide for you. Is that really what you want to put out there?"

Before Meredith could answer, the doorbell chimed, and she jumped at the opportunity to get away from the conversation. The evening before Mia's appendicitis attack had been perfect, the passion with Derek so overwhelmingly sweet that she wished she could go back to that moment again. So when she pulled the door open and found Derek standing there, all she could do was grab his arm and pull him inside.

"Thank god you're here," she said, as he slid his arms around her waist.

"Is something wrong with Mia?" he asked quickly.

"No, she's fine, but I'm just feeling overwhelmed with the whole media circus. I should have expected it, after all, and yet I just can't deal with it."

He kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold around her. "I'm sorry about what I said at the hospital last night."

"It's all right, it's the truth…just didn't expect it to be out there quite so dramatically." Meredith lifted her face up to him, and pressed her lips against his. "And did I tell you how happy I am to see you?"

"I like the way you think," Derek laughed softly, before kissing her back. "I was afraid you might be having second thoughts about being with me, after last night."

"No second thoughts, Derek. It freaked me out that I wasn't there with Mia, but it could have happened at home just as easily."

"Good, but I could understand if you were. I just had to take the chance and come to talk to you in person."

"How did you get past all the media out there?" she asked, aware of the small crowd of reporters gathered outside the big gate at the end of the driveway.

"I pulled my hat down, and came around the back way. They didn't pay attention to me, I don't look interesting enough," he explained, with a wink.

Meredith glanced at his outfit of faded jeans, plain white t-shirt, scuffed boots and a Nascar cap covering his distinctive head of hair. He certainly looked good to her, but then she admitted she was biased. Likely the press wasn't as attuned to Derek's appeal as she was. "They should know you now that the news is out about Mia, but I'm glad you were able to evade them. Come and have coffee. Cristina is here, we're just deciding how to deal with this."

"I don't think she appreciated my moment of truth."

"You'll have to extend that charm of yours."

"I don't think this is the time for charm," Derek sighed, as Meredith led him towards the kitchen. "This _is_ quite the place you have. You were right, it's big, but you know it's not that over the top for Nashville."

"I did my best to keep things comfortable and under-stated, but Hunter did his best to do the opposite."

They entered the kitchen, where Cristina was perched on a stool at the island, looking at her phone and scrolling through messages. "Well, well, it's the man of the hour. Do you think you could've been a little more discreet last night?"

"Cristina, believe me, I didn't mean to have a fist fight with that ass," Derek said. "What can I do to make amends?"

"I was just telling Meredith she needs to make a statement about this. Maybe you should be with her when she does. Make a united front and all of that."

For a second, Derek hesitated, before Meredith met his eyes. "Is that what you want to do, Mer? What will this do to Mia? I think our daughter's well being should be the important thing here, don't you?" He took her hand, and squeezed it. "Whatever you want, I'm on your side here, all right?"

She nodded and squeezed his hand in return. "I think Cristina's right, we need to say something. You know how it is, if we don't, they're going to make up something, and that's even worse. Not to mention, Hunter might be willing to go along with the divorce right now but he could make things ugly if he decides to play the injured party here."

"He didn't seem to be very interested in being reasonable last night."

"To be fair, he has been in her life since she was born. I don't doubt he loves her, just as if she were his own flesh and blood. Dad just took care of all the details, and I went along with him." Meredith held her coffee cup between her palms, thinking back to that time. "It wasn't easy, and I was sorry that I had to hide the truth, but at the time it just seemed like the best solution."

"I'm just going to leave you two alone for moment…" Cristina spoke up then, holding her phone up. "Got a few calls to take care of."

"Thanks, Cris," Meredith said softly, before turning to look at Derek again. He stood up, and moved closer to her, sliding his arms around her waist as she remained seated on the kitchen stool.

"You don't have to apologize for anything," he told her, kissing her forehead. "I told you before; it was the best thing at the time. But now I'm here, and I hope we can make things right. Meredith, I never let you go, even when you married Hunter. I loved you then, and I love you now."

Meredith lifted her face to him, and met his mouth for a long, sweet kiss that sent a shiver along her spine. It was a few more moments before she backed away. "I love you, Derek. I've loved you from the first time I ever laid eyes on you. The first time I ever heard you play a note on the guitar, first time I heard you laugh. And even through all the hell we put each other through, I love you now. Let's make this right, for the sake of our little girl…and for ourselves."

* * *

Hunter touched his face gingerly where Derek's fist had landed solidly, leaving an ugly bruise. Helluva way to start the day, and he had meetings to go to that he couldn't avoid. Of course, the fact that they had a fight would be all over the news anyway so it was pointless to hide it.

"You should put ice on that."

"Thank you for pointing that out, April," he said, turning away from the mirror. "I don't suppose you want to get me some?"

As it was still early in the morning, they were both at home yet, and since announcing her pregnancy, April had taken a leave of absence from his office. She was still in bed, saying she felt too exhausted after the late night to get up.

"Look at me, Hunter. Do I look like I want to waddle down to the kitchen to get some ice?" she sighed, resting a hand on her belly. It was hardly showing under the duvet cover, even though she proclaimed that she had gained too much weight already. "You should be getting me breakfast instead."

"You're not feeling nauseous? I know when Meredith was expecting, she threw up every day," he started to say, but she lifted her hand to stall him.

"I do _not _want to hear about your ex-wife, Hunter, please…"

"Fine."

"I would love some tea, and maybe one of those buns, with the raisins?" she said, holding out her hand to him. "Because you love me?"

"Of course, April. And then I have to get going, I have a full calendar today." He straightened his tie, and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Try to get some rest, I know we had a late night."

She yawned and settled against the pillows with a satisfied smile. "We did, at that. I hope we can stay home tonight."

"I want to make sure Mia is all right, first. She needs the best care, and I want to make sure Meredith is doing all she can to make sure of that."

April rolled her eyes. "She's not even your daughter, Hunter! What about our baby?"

"She's as much mine as Shepherd's, maybe more so," Hunter snapped, striding away to the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes with your breakfast."

* * *

By the time Meredith made it to the hospital later, Cristina had crafted a statement to cover all of the details on what had taken place the night before. So when the reporters and their cameras were waiting for her, she was ready for them. For the most part, she had a good rapport with the them, but several national gossip sites had picked up on the story and they were more intrusive than she was accustomed to.

"Meredith! What can you tell us about your relationship with Mia's father?"

"Where has he been before this? Are you involved with him again?"

The questions came at her quickly, and she did her best to answer. Even so, they were all crowding her, holding up cell phones and other recording devices. Several television cameras were pointed at her as well, and for a moment she nearly felt overwhelmed. She almost wished that Derek were with her, but they'd decided it might be too soon for that.

"Listen, I appreciate that you have questions, but all I can say for now is that my daughter is here, recovering from appendicitis, and that is my only concern right now. I hope you can have some consideration for that, and you can leave us alone until we have the time to devote to the rest of this."

"But what about Hunter Conrad? How does he fit in with all of this?"

"My soon to be ex-husband can answer for himself," Meredith said firmly. "But for the record, he remains a big part of Mia's life, and always will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get inside. I'm sure the security guards here don't appreciate the crowd outside. If you want, please contact my agent to schedule interviews."

"Just a few pictures...smile!"

She pasted a smile on her lips, and did her best to be patient a few more minutes. As always, she was thinking of Mia, doing what was best for her daughter.

* * *

Derek was meanwhile sitting at The Bluebird, looking at Mark, who was seated across from him. Two cups of coffee were on the table, along with the remains of their late lunch. "You really got yourself into mess this time, Shep," Mark observed.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Sloan. What would I do without you?"

Mark shrugged. "Getting into a fist fight with the mayor is not a good publicity stunt."

"I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but that does make the top ten."

"What did Meredith say about all of this?"

"She just said our main concern is our daughter, and I agree. I think we can deal with a little bit of bad publicity, so long as we're together." Derek slouched back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.

"And are you?"

"What?"

"Together?"

"As much as we can be right now, yeah," Derek said with a slight smile. "I really didn't expect to be in this place in my life, and I want to do everything I can to make sure I don't lose it all again." Then his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out quickly to look at the text message. "Mer's at the hospital, still being hounded by the reporters. I need to get over there."

"Do you want some help?"

For a moment, Derek hesitated, but he shook his head as he got to his feet. "I hope it's not that bad, Mark. But thanks, anyway."

"Hey, whenever you want to come by with Meredith, and your little girl, we'd be happy to see you," Mark offered. "In fact, Addison has been bugging me about it ever since you've been back in town."

"I'll be sure to tell Meredith," Derek said, with a quick smile.

By the time he reached the hospital, he was consumed with guilt. He should have been there sooner, and been with her as she faced the reporters despite what Cristina thought best. This was all so new and unusual, having the responsibility of family. There were a few television crews and photographers still milling around the front doors, and he hesitated for moment. But he couldn't keep avoiding the issue, he couldn't keep running away. He made his way towards them, and they eagerly surrounded him.

"Look, this is a family thing right now. I really don't want to say much about it," he said firmly, hoping for the best.

"But you punched the mayor..."

"Yes that's true, and it wasn't my finest hour. What can I say...it was an emotional time and we both were upset. Again, the focus should be on Mia's well being, and nothing else. Meredith's given you a statement, can we just agree to let things calm down a little?"

"It's big news. Give us a little bit of information," one of them pleaded, but he shook his head and slipped inside before they could protest further. By the time he reached the surgical floor, he was still a little irritated, but he met Meredith in the hallway with a smile. "Hey, how's our girl?" he asked, giving her a hug.

"She's awake and asking for ice cream. She's a little groggy yet, but the doctor says she'll be fine. Thanks for coming, Derek."

"I want to be here for both of you, Meredith, you know that. I should have been here sooner, no matter what Cristina decreed." He shrugged a little.

"Well, you're here now, and I think it's time to see Mia. I know it's not the day we had planned, but..."

"Are you sure it's all right? Suddenly I'm not sure I'm ready for this," he confessed.

Meredith smiled gently. "I think you are, more than you know. Let's go see our daughter."


	17. A Life That's Good

**Crickets...crickets...crickets...**

**That's the only sound after posting that last chapter, not much response out there, just crickets chirping in the silence. Thanks to the three of you that were kind enough to leave a review, I appreciate it.  
**

**Perhaps I've been posting too often, y'all need time to catch up? Or the chapters have been too long, too much to process?  
**

**Anyway, here is the next chapter.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 17  
A Life That's Good**  
_Two arms around me, heaven to ground me,_  
_ and a family that always calls me home,_

_Four wheels to get there, enough love to share_  
_ and a sweet sweet sweet song_

_*Song lyrics from "A Life That's Good" from Nashville _

Meredith pushed open the door to Mia's room, and tugged Derek along with her. "Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?" she asked, as Mia opened her eyes. She smoothed the hair away from Mia's forehead gently, as Derek waited beside her.

"Okay, how long do I have to stay here?"

"Just another day or so, just to make sure you're all better."

"I miss Benji, is he okay?"

"He's fine, he's at home now. I picked him up from Sarah's." Meredith looked at Derek then, and he moved a little closer. "Look who's here to see you. You remember Derek?"

Mia nodded slowly. "You and Max were at the pet store, I remember."

"That's right, Mia." Derek leaned in a little closer, still feeling unsure of himself. Mia looked very fragile and small in the hospital bed, and he felt a rush of protectiveness. "I know that your mother told you about me, that you're my daughter. It must be strange to find out about me. I hope we can get to know each other. I wanted you to come and visit me, but then this happened. Maybe when you're feeling better, you and your Mom can do that."

"Mmhmm…can I bring Benji?"

"Of course. Max would love the company, they can run around the yard together."

"That sounds like fun, Mia," Meredith added.

"I guess," Mia said, frowning. "Why didn't you and Mommy stay together when I was born?"

The question was one that Derek expected, but it still felt like a punch to the gut. He exchanged a look with Meredith before sitting down on the edge of the bed. "It's not easy to explain. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with her, but I'm going to be honest with you, I was kind of a mess back then. Your Mom, she deserved better than me back then. So did you. Maybe you don't really understand right now, but I hope to be around to see you grow up, and do my best to explain things to you as get older."

For a moment, Mia was quiet and Derek wondered if he'd said too much. How much did a ten year old girl need to know about his screw-ups after all? Then she carefully put her hand on his. "Mommy says we should always tell the truth if we mess up. Are you all better now?"

"I sure keep trying, Mia," he said quietly, thinking of his recent bouts of alcohol temptation. "I want to be here for your Mom, and for you, if that's okay."

"Do you know how to make cinnamon pancakes?" Mia asked, scrunching her nose in the same way that Meredith always did.

"Well, sure…" Derek replied, caught off guard by the question.

"I like cinnamon pancakes. My other Daddy always made them on Saturday mornings," Mia said simply. "Will you make me pancakes?"

"I would love to."

He could see Meredith brushing a hand over her eyes, and he reached up to bring her closer. He wasn't crazy enough to believe it was going to be easy, but for the moment he was thankful to have the chance to redeem himself.

Then there was a brief knock on the door, and Dr. Bailey poked her head inside. "Sorry to disturb y'all, but it's time for rounds and we need to check on our patient here." She bustled into the room, holding her hand out to Derek. "We didn't meet last night, but I understand you're her father?"

"That's right, recently returned to Nashville after a long absence. It's complicated."

"Families these days seem to be that way," she said knowingly. "I'm divorced myself." She turned to Meredith. "And I'm a huge fan of yours, Ms Grey. Sorry you and your little girl had to go through this, but she's doing just fine. You can stay while we do this, ask any questions you might have."

"Thank you for everything, Dr. Bailey. You've made this whole thing a little more bearable," Meredith said. "I'll make sure that my manager sends over tickets to my next show here, for you and for the rest of the staff that assisted on the surgery."

"You and that Izzie Stevens are touring together?" Dr. Bailey's tone was skeptical, and Meredith had to smile.

"We are, supposedly to expand my fanbase. We're back on the road soon."

"Hmph, that girl isn't country, how is that supposed to work?"

"Record management executives don't see it that way, I'm afraid."

"Well, I'll look forward to seeing you on stage. Now, where's that chart?" Dr. Bailey held her hand out, and one of the interns that had joined her quickly handed it over. Meredith and Derek stepped back, and he slipped his arm around her waist as they listened to the doctors review the post-op care and prognosis.

* * *

Later that evening, Derek looked up from the stove, where he'd been stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce. By mutual decision, they'd decided to have dinner at his house. Meredith made a brief stop at home to pack a small overnight bag, and collect Benji. She was now perched on a stool at his small breakfast counter, and Benji was happily rolling on the grass outside with Max. The kitchen was warm and redolent with aromas of garlic and tomatoes, and it felt like home.

"This is nice," she observed, watching him cook with an efficiency she didn't expect. "Smells heavenly."

"I did tell you that I'd make you dinner, but I'd hoped Mia would be here. We can do this again when she's out of the hospital," he said, stepping away from the stove. "I like having you here."

"I like a man who can cook," she teased him.

"I aim to please," he said, crossing the room to stand in front of her.

"I could tell that last night…"

Her breath caught as he put his hands on her shoulders, and leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was light and teasing, just a small touch at the corner of her mouth, enough to send arousal sparking through her. He kissed a trail along her jaw, her cheek and then her temple. She rested her hands on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart under her fingertips, and inhaled the scent of his skin. It was something outdoorsy and fresh, mingled with the slight tinge of ripe tomatoes he'd tasted.

She slid one leg around his, pulling him closer and winding her arms around his neck. His mouth found hers again, more demanding now, and he coaxed her lips open so that his tongue met hers. He half raised her off of the stool, his arms tight around her waist. It felt utterly perfect to be there, shutting away all of the worries of the day and focusing on their pleasure. There was nothing to be done about the secrets that had been exposed, they were all in for better or worse.

Meredith rocked against him, her body humming with desire, kissing him back with just as much emotion. She couldn't get close enough to him, moaning softly in the back of her throat as they continued to kiss, and losing track of everything else. Coming up for air briefly, she pulled his soft flannel shirt away from his jeans, sliding her hands up over his skin. His body clenched in response, and his own fingers urgently delved into the cleavage of her sweater, searching for her nipples that were aching for his touch.

For a few moments, they were content to touch lazily, letting the need between them continue to spiral. "You want more now…or continue to torment me until later?" he asked, his voice a rough growl as he freed her breasts from the confines of her bra. His thumb at her nipple made her momentarily dazed.

"More now, please…" she murmured, and before she could blink, he had her lifted up and then laid on her back across the table. Laughing softly, she looked up at him as he ripped his shirt away. "I didn't mean here!"

"Why not? Let's be spontaneous," Derek grinned at her, before running his hands over her firm breasts, now bare as she tossed her bra away. Then down the lines of her abdomen, and tugging impatiently at her jeans until she was naked. "I've been seeing you like this so many times in my dreams." He teased her with his fingers, through damp heat of her sex, so that she arched her hips for more. Then his tongue was stroking her skin, slow wet circles that left her trembling as he took her further into bliss. She clutched at his hair as he continued to lick her sensitized clit until she felt boneless and the climax left her in a quivering puddle.

Only then did he let her go, and pull her towards him. Burying into her with a hiss of pleasure, until they were joined tightly. "All for you, Meredith…you know that…" he murmured, teasing her clit with his fingers, his cock inside of her pulsing and hot. She could feel every ridge and vein, every bit of him demanding her response.

"All yours, I'm all yours…" Meredith sighed. Accepting the feel of him, the final thrust filling her, stars dancing before her eyes, as the orgasm flooded her. Feeling him filling her as well, hot and deep inside of her. Breathing faster, every part of their bodies tingling and aroused, as they finally came to a sliding stop. Derek stayed inside of her, unable to move, only to breathe, relishing the feel of her still throbbing around him.

She fell back against the table, as they slowly disentangled themselves. "Oh my god, Derek…"

"Too much too soon?" he asked, helping to a sitting position. He wrapped his arms around her, their skin damp with sweat.

"Never with you, I'd thought I wouldn't have this kind of passion in my life, and now here we are." Meredith lifted her face to him, and touched his cheek. "Whatever we do is good, and I love you so much for being in my life again." She pulled him in for a kiss, that was deep and erotic, and he felt her body responding again, her nipples hardening against his chest. Their tongues met and slid together, as their bodies rocked slowly. When he raised his head, and their eyes met, the spark of desire burned brightly.

"Much as I'd like to do that all over again, I think it's time for dinner," he murmured, finally releasing her. "The sauce has definitely simmered long enough."

"I suppose we better eat now, or we might get side-tracked again," she laughed softly. "You have this way of making me forget everything."

Derek kissed her forehead, laughing softly himself. "I think we're mutually responsible, honey. And that's not a bad thing…"

* * *

By the end of the week, Mia was out of the hospital, and Meredith found herself preparing for the tour again. She and Derek had spent as much time together as possible, and he and Mia had started to form a bond over their shared love of dogs and music. He brought over a small guitar for her, and was patiently teaching her to play some simple melodies. It made Meredith's heart sing to see their two heads bent together, dark and light, as he taught her the proper way to hold the instrument.

For now, they were having dinner at her house, so that Mia could have the familiar surroundings. Once the tour started, she was going to stay with Thatcher, with visits from Hunter on weekends. It wasn't an ideal situation, but she couldn't give up the tour. She was still giving serious thought to jumping ship from Storm Records and leaving Alex and his demands in the dust. But that thought would have to hold, between the tour and the divorce, she had enough to deal with. So far, Hunter was being agreeable, according to Owen, but it was still early in the process. Some of the media scrutiny had died down without any further scandal to pounce on, along with the fact that news had come to light that Izzie's mother was in fact not dead, but away in a rehab facility. That bit of news surprised Meredith; she felt bad for Izzie, the girl might be a diva but having to deal with an addict for a mother might explain some of her behavior.

"Is dinner ready yet, Mom?" Mia asked, wandering into the kitchen.

"Soon, why don't you and Derek take the dogs for a walk? Not far, though, you're still not ready for a lot of exercise." Meredith looked at Derek, leaning against the doorframe, wearing his customary jeans and dark blue shirt. Her heart did that same little flip it always did when she saw him, still not quite believing that it was real. And then he gave her that lazy smile that she hadn't even realized she'd missed until it was back in her life, and she had to shake her head to clear the naughty thoughts it inspired.

"I think a walk would be a good idea, we'll take it easy," he assured her, pushing away from the door. "Why don't you get the leashes, Mia?"

"Okay! Benji needs to learn to walk better on a leash, can you help?" Mia looked at Derek hopefully.

"Of course, so will Max. He's pretty good at herding, you know. He'll keep Benji in line." He crouched down and smiled at her. "How does that sound?"

Mia nodded, but looked a little puzzled. "Benji's not a sheep, silly!"

Derek chuckled. "Puppies, sheep, people...it doesn't matter to a Border Collie, it's what they're born to do. He'll do it to me if I let him, that's why I need to be the alpha in the pack."

"The alpha?"

"Top dog in the pack," Derek explained. "We can work on that, okay?"

"Yay!" Mia surprised him by lifting her hand for a high five, and he quickly met her little hand with his own, feeling absurdly pleased at her gesture. "Be right right back, kay?"

"I'll be here, Mia," he said, standing up and turning to Meredith.

"Full grown alpha male, hmm...?" she teased, a little smirk on her lips as he came to stand behind her. Instantly, he wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck, so that she made an involuntary little gasp of pleasure. She relaxed back against him, lifting her face so that he was able to kiss her temple.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he murmured, his voice a soft seduction in her ear.

"We can discuss it later," she promised, keeping an eye on the door for Mia's return.

"I'll hold you to that, honey." He kissed her again, managing to infuse the brief kiss with a promise and heat that made her knees go weak. He released her just as Mia bounced back into the kitchen, trailing leashes behind her and both dogs at her heels.

"Let's go, Derek!" she called out, heading towards the back door. So far she'd avoided calling him anything but that, but Derek was content to wait. He didn't expect anything else just yet, He pressed a last kiss to Meredith's cheek, and followed the little girl outside.

Meredith watched them leave, unable to stop smiling to herself. This was the life she wanted, the man she needed in her life, and what she'd dreamed of so many years ago. What more could she ask for?

* * *

**Is this the end of the story? I don't want it to be, but quite honestly, without input from you readers out there I don't know what to think. I know life is busy for all of us, and yet feedback is immensely important to a writer. So let me know, do I stay or do I go?**


	18. Can't Ever Get Enough of You

**First and foremost, I am deeply honored and grateful to all of you for the reviews and assurances that you're still out there! I seriously had no idea there were so many of you lurking out there. I believe I have responded to all of you that left signed reviews, and to the guests - mcdreamyforever, NaiNoo, katfran503, Virginaye, Patsy, MerderLover, Carolin, Ana, xnfgx, Carli, Katie and several anonymous readers - thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will endeavor to continue to entertain you with the rest of this story. I could hardly leave you hanging there! I also appreciate the suggestions some of you made, I will be sure to keep them in mind.  
**

**There will be happier things to come for MerDer now that the worst of the angst is passed, Izzie still has her mother to contend with, and Thatcher and Hunter are still in the picture. This chapter has some of all of that, including Derek/Mia time, and some rather steamy fun for MerDer (so please read responsibly!).  
**

* * *

**Chapter 18  
Can't Ever Get Enough of You  
**

_And although I don't believe in destiny  
Maybe it found me  
Now my world is filled with so many things  
But nothing compares to the touch of your skin  
I can't ever get enough of you  
_

_Song lyrics from "I Can't Ever Get Enough of You" by Darren Hayes_

Derek kept a watchful eye on Mia as they took a walk down the curved driveway. He made sure to keep his pace slow, holding Max at heel while he demonstrated the best technique for keeping Benji in line. The little puppy was frequently distracted, however, stopping to sniff at various bugs or leaves on the ground. Then Max would nudge him to move, making Mia giggle.

"Just try to keep him close," Derek said. "That's all we need to work on for the moment, just remember to be consistent, and practice every day a little bit."

"Okay, we can do that at Grampa's. He has a big yard too." Mia paused, tugging Benji away from some of the flowers bordering the path.

"Good, you can send your Mom progress reports," he suggested.

"You'll be with her, won't you?"

"Well, yes, I'll be on tour with her."

"But you'll be there at night, when she calls me? Then I can tell you too," Mia said, looking up at Derek. In her jeans and pink hooded sweatshirt, with her fair hair in ponytail, she looked a lot like Meredith in her youth. But now that he had met her in person, he could see even more traces of himself. It still made him pause, realizing they had created this little girl out of their desire for each other, and he would do anything in the world to protect her.

"I suppose we could work something out," he agreed with a smile.

"You're here a lot now, I know you stay over," Mia pointed out.

Caught off-guard, Derek ran through several responses in his head. To be honest, he and Meredith hadn't discussed their sleeping arrangements for the tour. So far their relationship was relatively low key, despite the initial scandal. They had kept a low profile, staying home with Mia and avoiding any place favorited by local paparazzi. He wasn't sure how long that peace was going to last once they hit the road again.

He spotted a stone bench, surrounded by late blooming roses, and he steered them all towards it. "Let's sit for a few minutes. I don't want to tire you out too much."

"Okay." Mia settled herself on the bench, and Benji flopped down at her feet. "I still feel a little sore, but it's getting better."

"Good." Derek fiddled with Max's leash for a moment, leaning his forearms on his thighs before looking at Mia. "Mia, you know I'm still getting the hang of being with you. It's just been me and Max for so long, and he doesn't need a lot of heart to heart talks. So I'm just going to say this the way I feel is best. I love your Mom very much, and even though I wasn't there when you were born, I want to make up for it as best as I can. I want to take care of both of you. Hunter will always be your Dad, since you knew him first, but maybe in time you'll think of me that way too."

Mia considered for a moment. "Lots of kids at school have different step-parents."

"I suppose they do."

"I know about April, and she's having a baby now, so my Dad is gonna marry her. Does that mean she's my step-Mom?"

"That's more complicated than those math questions you were doing last night," Derek said dryly so that Mia giggled a little. "Look, I know you're growing up pretty fast, just not too fast okay? I just got here."

Mia gave him a look that was already patent Meredith. "You make Mom happy, so that's good, right? And you can keep teaching me guitar?"

"Of course, I promise to teach you guitar, and I hope that Meredith will be happy with me. Wasn't she happy before?"

"There was lots of yelling; Daddy could be really mad sometimes."

"I see." Derek's gut tightened. "Did he get mad to you too?"

"Just sometimes, like when Benji peed on his shoes…or if I left my bike in the driveway…"

"I know you didn't mean to make him mad, but he still shouldn't yell at you." Derek shifted so that he was a little closer, and put his arm around her shoulders. "I can't promise never to get mad, but if I do it's for a really good reason."

He could feel her relax against him. "Can you keep a secret?" he asked.

Mia nodded quickly.

"I want to marry your Mom as soon as we can, and I even have the ring." Derek winked at Mia. "And then I'll be with you all the time, will that be all right with you?"

"I think so, and then Max could move in too and keep Benji in line."

"He could for sure." Derek stood up and held out his hand. "We should get going, before Benji forgets everything we just did."

"Does he forget that fast?" Mia asked worriedly.

"Puppies live in the moment, just got to reinforce the good behavior," Derek assured her. "Not such a bad idea for people, when you think about it."

* * *

Later in the evening, after tucking Mia into bed, Meredith was brushing her hair when she looked up to see Derek leaning one shoulder against the bathroom door. He met her smile with his own. Her heart skipped, seeing him there in soft pajama pants, his upper body bare. He seemed so much more at ease, his arms crossed over his chest, as he looked at her.

"What is it?" she asked, setting aside the brush. "You and Mia have had a very conspiratorial look about you since you came back from your walk. You must have had a good time."

"Oh, we had a nice talk about dogs and playing guitar," he said, not divulging anything.

"Well, that's good, I'm glad you two are getting to know each other." Meredith looked at him again, "You're still looking rather smug."

"Smug?" Derek raised his eyebrows, and pushing himself away from the door to join her. He slid his arms around her, and rested his chin on her shoulder, meeting her eyes in the vanity mirror. "Hardly, just happy we're here together and things seem to be going okay. I never want to take any of this for granted again."

She let her head fall back, as his lips touched her earlobe. "Will it always be a struggle for you, the not drinking?"

"Every day," he replied softly. "But I have so much to lose if I let myself go down that path again. I want to be here for you and Mia, watch her grow up and be a good father for her. More than that, I want to make you happy. You deserve it, Meredith."

"You do make me happy, Derek…" she murmured, feeling the slow sweet burn of arousal start in her veins as he continued to kiss her throat. "In more ways than one…" She met his eyes in the mirror again; their bodies lit in the soft glow of the vanity lights. Her silky nightgown clung to her like a second skin, and her hair was full and loose around her face.

In response, he wrapped his hands around her hips, pulling her backwards. His admiring gaze raked across her body, seeing the nipples starting to harden in response. His fingers stroked her, as he watched her in the mirror, switching to his open palms sliding the fabric against her skin. "You like this…?" he whispered so that she sighed, her eyes closed as she leaned back against him, offering herself to him.

"Oh yes, I really do…"

Derek fitted her body tightly against him, as she moved her head to the side, so that he was able to move her hair away with his hand, before putting his mouth against her neck. "You can feel me against you, my breath on you…" he murmured, "feel how much I want you right now. I can never get enough of you."

He kissed her neck then, marking a trail from her ear to her collarbone, watching her skin flush and the points of her nipples stand out even harder. His hands moved higher, across her hips and over her navel, feeling her starting to tremble a little. She shifted against him, feeling the hard length of him behind her.

Slowly, he slid the delicate straps over her shoulders, letting the fabric glide down her body to puddle at her feet. He cupped her breasts, burying his face against her hair, and her breath caught, watching him in the mirror. She could feel the ache in her core intensity at his touch, his fingers a little rough from playing guitar, yet still gentle on her skin.

Bringing her arms up over her head, she arched up into his embrace, her hips pushing forwards as she felt the ache in her core intensify. His fingers travelled lazily down her body, and their eyes met again in the mirror as he caressed her. There was a raw desire in his gaze as he watched her. Her legs parted, she waited breathlessly for his next touch. He didn't disappoint her, nor did he rush to touch her where she wanted it the most. As she continued to tremble, he touched her unexpectedly across her thighs, then over her navel and rolling her nipples, before a feather stroke against her clit. She rolled her hips, wanting more, and he breathed softly against her ear. "Just let go, let it all go Meredith…" Then his fingers were delving into her, and she gasped at the sensation, her eyes closing as she abandoned herself to his touch. "You're so beautiful, Meredith, open your eyes and see how I see you," he urged.

Meredith inhaled deeply, opening her eyes slowly. Her skin was flushed and damp, and she watched again as he slid his fingers in and out of her, teasing her with the tempo. Erotic heat coursed through her and she was filled with an insatiable urge to push harder against him. Without thought, she touched herself, rolling her fingers over her nipples, trying not to scream from the sensations. It seemed incredibly sensual to see him touching her, to watch him pleasure her, his fingers gliding in and out of her, with her wetness on them.

Derek kept his lips at her temple, whispering little words of encouragement to her, as she started to shake and clench around his fingers. She gasped and felt her whole body tighten, her nipples jutting out harder, her body radiating heat. She grabbed on to his leg with one hand, now losing control, digging her nails into him to hang on, as the orgasm ripped through her. As she watched herself convulse with it, her knees went weak and she collapsed against him.

Before she could recover, he picked her up and carried her away to the bedroom. Already she felt boneless and sated, but he pinned her down to the soft sheets, finally covering her with his body, his mouth claiming hers for a long kiss that sent her reeling again. Again, his touch teased her – the curve of her shoulder, the warm soft space beneath her breasts, and along her ribcage. Desire flared and she surrendered to the sensation, twining her fingers in his dark hair, feeling the weight of his arousal against her leg.

He shifted slightly on top of her, settling in between her legs, just the tip of his cock pressing against her. As she opened wider, he slid easily into her, and they lay joined that way, feathering kisses on each other. She didn't want to move, he felt so perfect inside of her, filling her completely.

Slowly and leisurely, she rolled her hips up as he began to thrust into her. He kissed her, and his tongue found hers, as they began to pulse together in delicious rhythm. There was no hurry, or feverish lust; this was just being there in the moment, enjoying each other - his lips on hers, their hands touching everywhere.

Meredith moaned softly, the slow thrusting finally igniting the spark of her climax, and it started to take over her body. It washed over her in waves, and she contracted around him, crying out as she came. He continued to kiss her as she rocked and spasmed, taking him along with her finally, in sweet release.

* * *

Much later, Meredith lifted her head to look at the clock. Derek lay with his head buried in the pillows, his arm flung across her waist in a possessive gesture. It felt completely natural to have him there, and she hoped that he was happy with the arrangement. She didn't want to rush him into anything, or make him feel overwhelmed by the lifestyle she had become accustomed to. Still, she couldn't imagine a life without him again.

She snuggled into his side, and he shifted in his sleep, pulling her closer. She pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder, and his eyelids lifted halfway to look at her in the dim light of the moon that filtered through the sheer curtains. "Are you okay?" he asked, rolling towards her, his voice rough with sleep.

"I'm good, go back to sleep," she whispered.

"You sure?"

Touching his cheek, she smiled at him gently. "I was just thinking how good it is to have you here. Do you think it's too soon?"

"No…in fact, Mia even commented on it. She expects that I'm going to be with you at night when we're on the road, so she can give us both progress reports on Benji."

"And are you?"

"I don't know, are we going to take that step, or will we be sneaky?" he smiled sleepily.

"We could be good sneakers," she agreed, "but I don't want to hide it. I'm legally separated from Hunter, we have no reason to hide." She twined her fingers with his. "Can't we be together?"

Derek squeezed her fingers. "We can be whatever we want, I think, so long as we're happy."

"Good, that's settled," she sighed happily, feeling sleepy again. "I love you, Derek…"

"Love you back, Mer…"

* * *

Izzie paced back and forth in the living room of her condo, gesturing at Alex with the glass in her hand so that whiskey sloshed over the edge. "What the hell am I going to do about my mother now that the word is out about her? So much for the discreet rehab facility you got her into!" She glared at him, as he sat on the sofa, watching her pace. "Did you see that picture leaked to EW on-line? Seriously?"

"Relax, I have a plan."

"What? I can't leave her here alone, I'm leaving on tour in two days!" Izzie stopped in front of him, her eyes wide. "Oh my god, this is just a disaster! How am I going to face all those people on the road now? What is Meredith going to think? I worked so hard to distance myself from this and now it's all back to haunt me." Suddenly exhausted, she dropped down on the sofa, holding her head in her hands.

"Izzie, listen to me. I arranged for a sober coach to stay with her while you're away. He'll make sure she stays clean and out of trouble, very low profile," Alex told her, and she looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"That's what you said about the rehab."

"Well, how was I supposed to know she was going to bribe some flunky with a promise of your autograph, and money to buy her booze?" Alex asked. "The place was highly recommended."

"Oh, Lorraine is tricky when she wants something, I'll give her that," Izzie snorted, looking at her empty glass and wishing for another drink. "Look at me, I'm just as damn bad, drunk again. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl! Maybe you should rethink my tour with Meredith, she's not going to want to be seen on the stage with me after this."

"Izzie for god's sake, Meredith's had her share of problems too. She's not going to judge you."

"Hah, and she's living in a mansion in Belle Meade with the man of her dreams and I'm...here..." Izzie hiccuped, looking around.

"Everyone starts somewhere, babe," Alex said, taking the empty glass out of her hand. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and let me help you."

"Why do you want to help me so damn much? Does it appeal to your twisted sense of male honor?"

"I want to help you because I think we're friends...of a sort..."

"Friends with benefits, you mean," Izzie sighed, flopping back against the cushions. "Besides, I don't have friends, I have people who want to be seen with me."

"Hey, I might be an ass but I'm honest about it. I can help you so stop fighting it."

"You just want to protect your investment! Prop me up and send me out there to make money for your precious label."

"Fine, just forget about it, Izzie. I'll walk out of here and let you deal with Lorraine on your own." He got to his feet and grabbed his jacket from the arm of the sofa. "You have my number, if you change your mind. Just remember, you're under contract to go on tour in two days whether you're ready or not. If you skip out, you'll be in bigger trouble than you imagined."

For a moment, Izzie wavered, but then she closed her eyes, and listened to the sound of Alex walking away.

* * *

Thatcher propped his feet on the edge of his desk and looked at Hunter, seated across from him. "Hunter, I've got something serious to discuss with you. I supported you in the election and you're in the position I need you in. Unfortunately, I received some inside information from a friend on the police force." He blew out a ring of cigar smoke, looking at Hunter through the smoke.

"What kind of information would that be?"

"You're being investigated, for fraud and embezzlement. Care to tell me what that's about?"

Hunter sat back, crossing his arms. "I have nothing to say."

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, boy. I can't help you if you lie to me. Don't forget I have people that find out information." Thatcher raised his eyebrows, picking up his cellphone. "You want to be the mayor with the shortest term in office?"

"I need a drink," Hunter muttered, getting up to pour a shot of whiskey in a crystal tumbler. He drank it back quickly and then poured another before looking at Thatcher again. "All right, I messed up. I needed money for a deal before a deadline, so I borrowed some funds from Meredith's investment account. I swear I paid it back. But then, the deal fell through and I had to come up with more funds to cover some other debts...it just snowballed."

"And of course she knows nothing about this?"

"Hell no, I thought I'd get it all recovered. But now with the divorce, and April..."

"Did you think you were really getting away with it? I know Meredith's divorce attorney, and he's a bulldog. He's going to find out all of the dirty little financial secrets you've been hiding. You might have thought about that before."

"So what now? I don't have the cash on hand to put it back, and now I have no access to the accounts. Everything is frozen until after the divorce."

"Did you think it would just magically regenerate?" Thatcher inquired, his tone sarcastic.

"I had a lot of other things on my plate."

"Well, you might have a lot of time on your hands once you go to jail."

"Jail? No damn way, you've got to help me fix this."

"Me?"

"You're used to dirty business, everyone in Nashville knows that. You must be able to pull some strings..."

"You know the first order of business now?" Thatcher asked, leaning across the desk. "Grow a pair of balls! Now get out of here, let me think about this."


	19. When the Right One Comes Along

**Thanks again for the reviews to the last chapter! Yes, Derek is accepting of Meredith's keeping Mia a secret, something that maybe show Derek wouldn't have been, but then Derek here does have some experience in acceptance. As for Thatcher, well to my mind he's just the kind of man who is always playing the game, no matter what. He loves Meredith, but he loves the game more, though it may prove to backfire.**

* * *

**Chapter 19  
When the Right One Comes Along  
**

_In a cold world_  
_ It's a warm place_  
_ Where you know that you're supposed to be_  
_ A million moments_  
_ Full of sweet release_  
_ When the right one comes along_

_*Song lyrics from Nashville*_

The day before the tour was scheduled to kick off again, Derek joined Richard for a last talk over coffee. It was early in the morning, and he enjoyed the quiet as he strolled along the street towards the café. It would be a busy day, making sure everything was taken care before they left, but for now he was relaxed and he whistled softly to himself.

"Derek, good morning!" Richard called out as Derek joined him. "You look happy; you must be dealing with all of the changes in your life quite well."

"I certainly feel happy," Derek agreed, taking a chair across from Richard. "If you had told me six months ago that I would be back with Meredith, that I had a daughter, and that I would be touring again…well, I would have thought _you_ were the one drinking!"

"That is a fine litany of things to be thankful for."

Derek leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. "I'm just grateful to have the chance to be the man Meredith fell in love with all those years ago. Not many people get a second chance at happiness."

"Very true. And you're not bitter about Mia's identity being kept from you before?"

Waiting until the waitress filled their coffee mugs before answering, Derek shook his head. "How could I be bitter? I know I wasn't in a place to accept or deal with a baby back then. Meredith did what she felt best to protect Mia. And besides, it's in the past…you know that one of the first things we're told on the road to sobriety is to accept the things we can't change. I'm there for her now, that's the main thing."

Richard nodded. "You have come a long way from that time when you were in a dark place. It's always going to be a challenge, but I believe you have the tools and the love in your life to stay balanced. You should be proud of that."

"I had a lot of help from you in that regard, Richard. You and many others that went through hell and back, and were able to share the wisdom of your experiences with me."

"Have you considered being a sponsor yourself?"

"Maybe at some point, but it wouldn't work for me right now, being away. I could keep it in mind for future, once things are settled."

"Good, you have a lot to offer in that regard." Richard took a sip of coffee before speaking again. "So you're off tomorrow now, you're all set?"

"As good as it gets I suppose. It's a little different this time, going along with Meredith and that whole entourage. Last time I had one suitcase, and my guitars, this time it's several trunks, carryon luggage, laptop cases, guitar cases and a whole lot of garment bags. Not to mention the hair and makeup products which have their own handlers. It takes a lot of people to put on a show these days."

"Johnny Cash did it with three people," Richard laughed.

"I know! We're taking Max over to Mark's later today, and then Thatcher is picking up Mia and Benji first thing in the morning."

"Sounds like you have everything looked after."

"I certainly hope so…" Derek said, looking at his phone that vibrated on the table. "It's Meredith, must've forgotten something important to take along…" He checked the message and his expression turned serious. "Damn, she has to meet with her lawyer, something's come up that can't wait. I have to take Mia to school. Another task I didn't envision doing, but it's such a normal parent thing." Getting to his feet, he flashed a grin at Richard and gripped the other man's hand. "Thanks again for being here, and I'll be in touch along the tour."

"Best of luck, Derek."

"Say, what are you going to do now that the election's over?"

"I'll be busy, don't worry," Richard assured him. "Now go, your daughter's waiting."

"I like the sound of that."

* * *

Meredith checked her phone as she hurried into Owen's office building. Derek just texted her to let her know that he had just picked Mia up and they were on the way to school. She felt a little less stressed at that message; Derek was so reliable now, happy to be there for Mia and taking up the slack.

But as soon as she settled into the chair across from Owen, she sensed that her stress level was about to go up again. His expression was grim as he shuffled the papers in front of him before looking at her.

"Meredith, thank you for coming on such short notice, I know you're busy."

"We're leaving on the next part of the tour tomorrow, it's been a little hectic."

"I can imagine, but this really couldn't wait until later, nor did I want to have to discuss this on the phone." He leaned back in his chair, and smoothed his tie into place.

"You're starting to scare me. What's wrong? Is Hunter demanding more custody of Mia? I thought he was being agreeable." Her thoughts were scrambled, trying to figure out what was going on. Owen had been as good as Cristina predicted, willing to do everything he could to protect her interests, while moving the proceedings along quickly.

"How much access did Hunter have to your money?" he asked bluntly.

"Well, he had a lot of access, we were married, after all. With his expertise in business, he was willing to look after a lot of that for us once my career really started to take off. Actually, he and my father were both involved. Why?"

"I hate to tell you this, but it appears that Hunter has been dipping into your accounts. I've had my accounting investigators digging into the books of his company, just the usual thing in divorce and they came across a lot of irregularities. Then looking at your investment accounts, they found funds missing that were unexplained."

Meredith felt her body tense, and she stared at Owen in disbelief. Her mouth felt dry and she had to take a gulp of water from the glass the secretary had left for her. "Unexplained? That sounds ominous."

Owen leaned forward and steepled his fingers together, his light blue eyes fixed on her intently. "I believe that Hunter took funds from your account to pay debts he incurred in business. Some funds were replaced, but then more was removed. I take it that you had no knowledge of these transactions?"

"No, I had no idea. I relied on him and my father to take care of it, damnit! I guess I'm the fool for being naïve," she sighed.

"I didn't think you did. I've already been in contact with the police, this will be a criminal matter. My staff is still digging into things, and will cooperate with them, of course."

"Oh my god, how bad is this?"

"It's bad, but not so much that you're in dire straits, of course. You're still at the top of the charts, you're going to tour and you have the house in Belle Meade. Thankfully he didn't touch the property."

"Did my father have anything to do with the funds? Did he know about this?" Meredith asked, still feeling off balance from the news.

"There's no evidence of his involvement, Meredith. Do you think he knew?"

"Owen, you know my father, there's not much that he doesn't know."

"True enough. You should talk to him."

"Oh, I plan to. What happens now, with the funds? I'm sure Hunter doesn't have a lot of cash at his disposal, or he wouldn't have taken it."

"Everything is locked down now, and if charges are laid, he will be held responsible." Owen stood up and came around the desk. "I plan to get to the bottom of this, and I'll be sure to keep you informed while you're away. He won't get away with this, I promise you."

Meredith stood, her legs a little shaky at the revelation. "Thanks, Owen, I feel better knowing you're on my side. Just when I thought everything was going so good."

"How's your daughter doing after the appendicitis?"

"Much better, she wanted to go back to school today, get back to normal again. She's been through a lot lately too."

"And the relationship with her biological father?"

"It's been great. She enjoys spending time with him- they have a shared love of music and he's teaching her guitar. She's already better than I ever was!" Meredith smiled happily at the thought. "I was never good with guitars."

"Well, I'm glad that's going well at least. I'm sure we can straighten this business out with Hunter and his attorney. Good luck with the tour." Owen walked her to the office door, and opened it for her. "I'll be in touch."

"Thanks again. I think I'll pay a little visit to my father on the way home now," Meredith said, trying to rein in the anger that was starting to simmer.

* * *

Derek slowed his truck as they approached Mia's school, easing into the line of vehicles depositing children at the curb. "You sure you're ready for this already?" he asked, glancing over at Mia. "It hasn't been that long since you got home."

"I want to go, I promise not to play too hard! And I've got lots of cool stuff to tell Sarah and the other girls!"

"You mean the operation?"

"Kinda. But then there's the guitar, and you teaching me! And Benji and Max playing together too…" Mia bounced happily in the passenger seat, and he couldn't help but grin back at her.

"Well, if you get tired or need to come home early, just have your teacher get in touch with us, okay?"

"I promise."

They reached the head of the line, and Derek shut off the ignition and jumped out of the truck to open the door for Mia. In comparison to the rest of the vehicles in line, his looked a little out of place, a lone beat up half-ton in a sea of luxury SUVs and sports cars. He looked around, thinking things had changed a lot since he went to school, even the teachers looked more upscale.

"Here you go, Mia. You got your backpack and lunch money?" he asked, to double-check.

Mia nodded, just as one of the teachers hurried over to greet them. She was tall and black-haired, with a cheerful smile that put Derek at ease. "Good morning, Mia, it's good to see you back here. You're feeling better?" Her inquiring glance took in Derek as well, sweeping over his jeans and denim shirt before looking back at Mia.

"Yes, Miss Torres!"

"And who is driving you today? I usually see your Mom in the mornings."

"This is Derek, he's my new Dad…well, my old Dad…oh it's just so complicated!" Mia said dramatically, throwing her hands up.

"Oh, of course. I'm Callie Torres, Mia's music teacher," she said, holding out her hand to Derek. "It's nice to meet you."

"Derek Shepherd. Meredith couldn't make it this morning, so I was pulled into service!" Derek was aware that she likely had heard all about the fight between Hunter and himself. "I suppose my reputation precedes me."

"There's always lots of gossip in this town, I like to keep an open mind," Callie agreed. "Mia, I think Sarah is already inside. Why don't you head in?"

"Yes, Miss Torres!" Mia turned to Derek. "Are you picking me up later too?"

"I can, if you want," he agreed, crouching down beside her. "Or maybe both of us will be here. You have a good day, okay?"

"Okay!" Mia leaned forward and quickly kissed his cheek, completely taking him by surprise. "Bye Daddy!"

He stood up and watched her disappear into the crowd of children heading inside the school, before turning back to Callie. "I should go, don't want to hold up the line here any longer." He could see a few other cars waiting, and he was feeling a little dazed at the fact Mia just called him Dad, realizing he was standing there with what must have been a goofy grin on his face.

"Well, again, good to meet you. Mia seems to be happy with you, so hopefully we can see you again here."

Derek smiled a little, before slipping his sunglasses back on. "Not for awhile, we'll be out of town on tour. Mia's grandfather is going to look after her, so you'll have Thatcher to look forward to."

"Ah, too bad, we can always use a good looking man to brighten our mornings!" Callie teased him as he turned to walk away. He'd gotten a little accustomed to having female fans flirt with him after shows on tour, but it still seemed surreal. He shook his head slightly, hearing the invitation in her tone; there was no one else in the world for him but Meredith.

* * *

Meredith walked into Thatcher's office, and stopped at his desk, planting her hands on the polished teak. "Dad, what the hell is going on with Hunter and my money?" she asked, before he had a chance to say anything.

"Well good morning to you too, Meredith," he said, closing his laptop before looking at her. "I'm surprised to see you this early, I thought you would be busy today."

"I am busy, but I had to see my lawyer. He says there have been some large withdrawals on my investment accounts," Meredith said, her voice cool. "By my soon to be ex-husband…what do you know about this?"

"Ah, I see. I wondered how long it would take for Owen to tell you that bit of news."

"Of course, you knew already. And you said nothing to me, why am I not surprised?"

"Meredith, think about this rationally for a moment. Suppose I did find out, and suppose I had my own reasons for keeping this from you…in order to protect you."

"Protect me?"

"Yes, of course. I heard about the investigation, and I confronted him. You know that I backed him for mayor, and how would it look if he was arrested after taking office? Not to mention, the gossip it would create? I wanted to keep things quiet, and try to help him."

"You would help him, even after he betrayed me?"

"Oh, I know it's twisted in my own way, but trust me…I have your best interests in mind as always."

"Dad…"

"Meredith, you have to trust me. I know that you have come a long way, you're so much stronger now than you were ten years ago. You remind me so much of your mother sometimes. Whatever Hunter did was wrong, of course; but what good will it do if this comes to light? You're already divorcing, you have Mia's true father in your lives again, and I hope that things turn out the way you want this time."

"You're never this altruistic, Dad," Meredith sighed. "You're up to something, I just don't have the time to figure out what. Just promise me that Hunter will keep his greedy fingers out of my money."

"I will be sure to keep an eagle eye on him. I want him to stay in office, I need him there."

"Of course you do." Meredith backed away from the desk. "Dad, I'm leaving on tour as planned and Mia is going to stay with you, but once I'm back home, don't expect things to be the same. You can stay out of my life."

"Wait, Meredith!" Thatcher got to his feet, but she was left as quickly as she could before she changed her mind.

* * *

Meredith regarded the bottle of wine in the chiller, the Pinot Grigio was calling to her even though it wasn't even close to noon. Still recovering from Owen's bombshell about Hunter, she wanted a drink but with Derek's addiction in mind she felt it was wrong.

"Are you all right, Mer?" Derek's voice interrupted her thoughts, and she whirled around to see him crossing the kitchen to join her. He was dressed for a run, and she took a moment to appreciate the running shorts and t-shirt he wore.

"Oh god Derek, I'm not sure how to answer that," she sighed.

"I take it the lawyer's appointment didn't go well?"

"No, it didn't. I hate Hunter and I hate my father right now, and I want a glass of wine but I can't do that..."

Derek came closer and slid his arms around her waist. "Tell me what's wrong, and why you want wine at 10 o'clock in the morning."

Again, she felt safe in his arms, and she poured out the information about Hunter's further betrayal and Thatcher's knowledge of that betrayal. "I told Dad I don't want to see him again once we come home. I've had enough of him controlling things in my life," she finished, wiping tears away from her eyes.

"Ah, god Mer...I can't believe Hunter stooped to stealing from you. I can understand why you want to drink right now." He kissed her gently. "While I have no problem with other people drinking, you need to deal with this differently. I always find that physical exertion is good to diffuse that need..."

"Derek, I don't feel like sex right now," she managed to say, smiling slightly at him.

"Who said anything about sex?" he asked, winking at her. "Even though that is certainly appealing..."

"So what did you have in mind?"

"Come for a run with me, it should clear your head and leave you feeling a different kind of high," he urged.

"Derek, do you know how much we still have to do today?" Meredith looked up at him, seeing the concern and the love in his expression. "I have to meet with Cristina, and we have to go over those new songs...and finish packing..." Her voice trailed away, as he kissed her forehead.

"So we'll go for a short run, work up some sweat...and then if we have time...we can see how else we can work off this stress," he murmured, his voice persuasive and teasing at the same time. "Hunter can't control you any more than Thatcher, Meredith. You're strong and capable and I love you..."

"I love you, Derek..." she said, kissing him softly. "Let's go for that run..."

* * *

"You were so right!" Meredith laughed, once they'd returned from taking a brisk run. She felt sweaty, breathless and better than she had imagined. "I need a shower, you coming?"

"As if I'd miss that opportunity!" Derek laughed, as he chased her up the wide staircase towards the bedroom. By the time they reached it, he caught her and toppled her onto the bed. He landed on top of her, meeting her happy smile with one of his own. "This is much better, isn't it?"

"I can't ask for anything better," she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "What other kind of physical exertion did you have in mind?" She rubbed one foot along his calf, and his fingers slid up along her ribcage, under the tank top in search of her breasts. His lips were on her throat, while his fingers toyed with her nipples that were suddenly hard and aching.

"Does this work for you?" he whispered, as the heat grew between them as always. He moved lower, caressing her leg from her calf up to the warm skin of her inner thigh, to the hem of her shorts. She moaned, spreading her legs for him, arching up to meet his touch.

"It's a start..." she teased him, feeling eager for more, wanting him to take her mind and body away from the concerns of the day.

"Then we need to keep going..." he said, his lips on hers, kissing her deeply, sucking on her tongue, consuming her. She kissed him back fiercely as passionate urgency took over, and she was suddenly desperate to have him inside of her. She slid her hands down his muscled back, and under his t-shirt, while he pulled her shirt up over her head. His mouth and teeth found one nipple, while the palm of his hand covered her other one. Meredith tugged at his shirt, needing to feel him naked against her, and he sat up to help her remove it. He fell back down onto her, and she gasped when their skin made contact. She could feel the head of his cock pressing into her, and she arched into him, making him groan with need.

He kissed her again, biting her lip softly over and over, while his hands slid her shorts down, and then easing them past her hips and down her legs, taking her panties with it. He rubbed the palm of his hand across her wet sex, and the sensation made her head fall back, her body limp with pleasure, her clit tingling with a delicious ache.

She watched him through half-lidded eyes as he pulled away for a moment to remove the rest of his clothes, and then he returned between her legs, lifting her hips to meet his, pulling her leg up around him. A tidal wave of heat washed through her, as he slid into her slowly, possessing her, enthralling her. It felt perfect, yet every time felt like the first time, every time he found something new to make her hotter, make her crazy. He thrust into her again, his soft groan of pleasure making her hotter and wetter still. She could feel him everywhere, buried so deep inside of her, his mouth teasing her nipples then, his chest beneath her hand, feeling the hard muscles flex beneath her soft touch. Feeling his heartbeat, pulsing, sending a message to her soul.

Derek lifted his head to look at her, his hair in a sexy mess of curls, and her breath caught in her throat. He was so damn hot, so perfect – she touched his face and traced his lips with her fingers. Sucking her finger seductively, as he pushed harder into her, joined in heated passion, eyes devouring each other, they moved as one.

Faster and harder then, she met his every stroke, deepening their connection, as the heat built to a shuddering peak in her. She spasmed around him, pulling him in. "I love you," he breathed, his voice hoarse with need, "I love you so much, Meredith."

"I love you, too," she replied softly, and the love and his body finally took her over the edge into sweet release that took her breath away. As she rode the delicious waves of her climax, she was aware that he was holding on to his own. She squeezed around him, urging him to let go. "I love how you feel inside of me, just let go Derek...I want you like this, always..."

"Now and always, Mer..." he breathed, rocking against her, as his mouth met hers again. She felt his body tense and then he let the orgasm take over, lost into her. It took a few minutes of soft kisses and touches before they were able to move again, and she sighed happily, stroking his back. It was the best way to diffuse stress, and she felt so grateful to have him in her life to help her.

"Meredith," he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder as he rolled to his side, his arm around her waist. "I want to ask you something, I thought I could wait but it seems like the right thing to do now, before the tour and we're surrounded with so many other people..."

"Ask me what?"

"Something I should have done ten years ago..." He sat up, and took her hand in his, his expression serious. "Meredith, I love you more than ever, and I want to make you happy for the rest of your life...will you marry me?"


	20. Borrow My Heart

**Many thanks to all of you that reviewed the last chapter! There's a large number of guest reviews, and I'm unable to thank you via PM, so cheers to you for your thoughts and support. I wanted to address a few of the comments, however, mostly regarding the 'steam level in the story. **

**Carli - I'm sure my hubs would be thrilled at your observation! Of course, if I were as busy as MerDer in my fics, I'd have no time to write about it! A dirty imagination goes a long way too!**

**Merderlover - I know I've cut down on the steamy scenes as opposed to my older fics, in part to try to conform better to the guidelines I suppose. I haven't gotten into trouble for it yet, and there's likely a lot of way more hard core stuff out there, but you never know when someone will complain!**

**Carolin - I do hope I'm not corrupting you too much. :)**

**McDreamyforever - thanks for letting me know you're still going back to re-read Dark Passions, I agree that Lord Derek is likely the most popular/hottest version of him I have written. Plenty of explicit stuff in that story!**

**In short, I don't want to offend anyone, and yet I know some of you like more explicit scenes too. I try now to make sure the sex fits into the context of the chapter, and that all of MerDer heat is borne out of their love for each other! It's not just porny for porny sake, I suppose...but maybe someday I should give E.L. James a run for the money! ;o) **

**Anyway, on to the chapter, and Meredith's answer, hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

**Chapter 20  
Borrow My Heart  
**

_Won't you borrow my heart?_  
_ Take it, love, as long as you need_  
_ Won't you borrow my heart?_  
_ And don't you ever give it back to me._  
_ Don't you ever give it back to me._

_*Song lyrics from the show Nashville_

"Meredith, I love you more than ever, and I want to make you happy for the rest of your life…will you marry me?"

Meredith looked at Derek in surprise, and for a moment she was speechless. His expression was part hopeful, part concerned, and she closed her eyes briefly. This was what she'd longed for all those years ago, imagined in her dreams and here it was a reality. Then he squeezed her fingers and she opened her eyes, as he spoke again.

"I know we need to wait, and your divorce isn't final, but I hope we can take this step. I want to be the man you need, the father to Mia and your partner in life until we're old and senile." Derek kissed her fingers, and she felt completely overwhelmed, and she blinked away tears that threatened to spill. "I know I let you down in the past, but I'm not that man now, and I swear I won't let you down ever again."

"Oh god, Derek…I wasn't expecting this…not yet…" she finally managed to say. "I don't know what to say…"

"Yes would be good…" he murmured, "but I would understand if you felt uncertain, or that it's too soon."

Meredith touched his cheek with her fingers. "I'm surprised, but I'm not uncertain about being with you, Derek. You have come back into my life, stronger and at peace with yourself, ready to be a presence in Mia's life even when it was a surprise to you. How could I say no to someone that loves me and wants to be an equal partner?"

"So you're saying yes?"

"Yes, absolutely yes…" Meredith's heart pounded as he scooped her into his embrace, his mouth on hers in a kiss that took her breath away.

Derek broke away and grinned at her happily. "I do have a ring for you, but if it's not what you want, I can get something else…I just saw it one day and had the crazy impulse to buy it. I had no idea the day would come that I could propose or that you'd accept…"

"Derek, I'll love it, I'm sure of it," she replied.

"I have it at my place, I didn't anticipate asking you today."

"Oh, I think I like the way you asked, spontaneous and naked…" Meredith teased him gently, and he pulled her onto him again in response. She could feel every inch of his body against hers, as she leaned in to kiss him again. She lost herself in the moment, moving to accommodate him between her legs.

"Do we have time to celebrate?" he asked, as she rose up over him, her fingers trailing down his chest. She admired the lean, hard length of his body to where it tapered to his slim hips, and lower to the obvious indication of his arousal.

"Let's make time," she said, her voice throaty. "I don't want to leave this bed just yet."

"Good answer…"

Derek lifted his hips, and she slid down onto him, engulfing him in heat and slickness as she rested her hands on his chest. For a moment, she paused, teasing him with the squeeze of her inner core. "Do you remember the first time you made love to me?" she asked, leaning in to press soft kisses along his collarbone, and across his cheek.

"Mmm…god yes…you were shaking just as much then as now," he murmured, his eyes smoky blue with the remembrance.

"So were you, Derek…" she half-laughed, her voice caught on a gasp as he thrust upwards slightly. "You dropped the condom package three times…"

"I like to think I've improved my technique since then, but yeah…I remember it all vividly, honey," he assured her, grasping her hips as she rocked over him. "It just gets better and better with you." He thrust upwards again, and she contracted around him tightly, and fell forward. She couldn't speak anymore, her mouth captive in an endless deep kiss. The wave of her release consumed her, dragging him under with her until panting and spent, they slid against the sheets together.

From the bedside, her phone began to ring and she exhaled briefly hearing the distinctive ringtone. "It's Cristina…duty calls…" she muttered, feeling too boneless to even lift the phone up.

"I was hoping for a little longer," Derek agreed, his fingers still touching her damp skin in lazy circles.

"I better get that, or she's liable to come over here to make sure I get everything done." Meredith rolled away to grab the phone, sitting at the edge of the bed. "Hey, Cris…yes, I know I was going to call you before, I got a little side-tracked…"

Derek moved behind her, and feathered a few kisses along her shoulder, making her quiver again. She glanced over at him, and he smiled at her unrepentantly.

"I suppose the object of your side-tracking is very hot and naked, Mer, but we do have a lot to do yet today," Cristina said, pulling Meredith's focus back to the phone. "Or have you forgotten all about meeting Karev today?"

"What? Oh damn, I did forget. I have some other news for you too, about Hunter." Meredith squirmed away from Derek, who relented and fell back against the pillows, hands laced behind his head.

"Well you can fill me in on the way to see the evil spawn. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Looking at the clock, Meredith jumped to her feet. "Fine, gotta run then. I still need a shower." She ended the call and grabbed her robe from the chair. "You are a terrible influence, Derek Shepherd. Now I have twenty minutes to get ready before she gets here!"

"I can help you shower," he said, winking at her.

"Then I'll never get out of here!" She blew him a kiss, and dashed into the bathroom, listening to the soft chuckle of his as she closed the door behind her. But she couldn't help but smile to herself as she turned on the water before glancing into the mirror. Her face was flushed, her hair was a tousled mess and she had a small bruise on her throat. It felt good to feel so well loved, nothing could ruin the day for her now, despite the bad news about Hunter's actions.

* * *

At Storm Records, they were ushered into Alex's office immediately, and found him already in conversation with Izzie. Meredith exchanged a puzzled look with Cristina, who merely raised her eyebrows.

"Oh good, you're here. There's something we need to discuss."

"You could have sent me a text," Meredith said dryly, sitting down on the sofa. She had gotten ready in record time, tying her hair back, and throwing on skinny black jeans and a sleeveless lavender tunic. She had filled Cristina in about Hunter's actions, and how she'd confronted Thatcher. Cristina had been suitably outraged, backing Meredith's decision to cut Thatcher no slack. But she had left out Derek's proposal, unwilling to share the sweet feeling just yet. It was bad enough that Cristina took a look at her flushed skin and still messy hair and rolled her eyes. And still she couldn't keep the smile off her face, until Alex dragged her focus back to the conversation.

"A text wouldn't work," Alex said. "Izzie wanted to talk to you in person."

Meredith looked at Izzie more closely then, noting Izzie's slumped shoulders, and handfuls of shredded tissue in her lap.

"You must have heard the news, it made your little scandal less interesting," Alex commented. "Izzie's mother was in a rehab facility, but she managed to find a way out. She has substance abuse issues, something I'm sure you are familiar with…"

"Oh, of course," Meredith said slowly. "Izzie, if there's something I can do to help…?"

Izzie looked up at her then, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. "I don't want to face anybody right now, how am I supposed to go on tour? Everyone knows Lorraine is an addict, that I'm a trailer park girl who lied about her mother being dead. You must think I'm a complete loser…"

Without stopping to think, Meredith moved over to sit beside Izzie, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Izzie, don't be so hard on yourself. You can't control your mother's addiction, and I don't think less of you for it. You have come a long way, and you've got an amazing voice. Don't let this keep from you your dream."

"It's easy for you to say," Izzie sniffed. "You have your mansion and your perfect daughter and the love of your life back!"

"Izzie, nobody is going to hand success to you on a silver platter. You have to get out there and fight for every bit of it, especially in today's market. Do you want it bad enough to do that?"

From where he leaned against the edge of his desk, Alex spoke up. "I told Izzie I arranged for a sober coach to stay with her mother while she's away, I think it's the best way to handle this. A coach can be there around the clock, making sure that she stays clean."

"That sounds like a good idea, Izzie. I know that Derek wouldn't be here today without having help, not that he had the same individual treatment. He would understand, if you need to talk to him. I hate to admit it, but I agree with Alex this time."

Cristina made a strangled sound. "Mark that on the calendar, Karev, it won't happen again!"

"Ms Yang, your comment is duly noted," he smirked, before looking at Meredith again. "And thank you, Meredith. I told Izzie you would be supportive."

Izzie took a shuddering breath, and wiped her eyes again. "I just don't know…"

"Izzie, you can do this. I'll be there, and so will Derek. I understand how difficult it is, believe me, but if singing is important to you, once you get on stage it will help. I think you'll be surprised at the support that you will get."

"Have ticket sales been affected?" Cristina asked, looking at Alex.

"Most venues were already sold out, and the ones that weren't have shown brisk business," he told her. "The fans want to see these two, more so than before, in my opinion. Is there any chance you could perform a duet?"

"Well, we haven't considered that before," Meredith said, frowning a little. "Seriously, Alex, a duet doesn't just come out of thin air! We'd need to think about it."

"There must be one of the songs you do that would work for both you," he said firmly. "Make it happen."

"You're assuming Izzie is going through with this." Cristina raised her eyebrows at him. "If she doesn't go, Meredith is quite capable of doing the tour on her own."

"I'm going, all right?" Izzie jumped to her feet, scattering tissues over the sofa. "Have it you way, get the damn coach for Lorraine and he can deal with her. Just don't be surprised when that implodes, just like the rehab. I'll be there to say I told you so!" She stormed away to the door, and turned briefly. "Meredith, thanks for what you said, I'll see you in the morning."

For a moment there was silence in the office, before Cristina stood up. "Well, that was fun," she said brightly. "Are we ready for the tour now?"

"It's going to be interesting, in a whole different way this time," Meredith replied. "Alex, you might be sorry you've pushed her into this."

"She can handle it, I'm sure of it."

"Famous last words…" Cristina smirked.

* * *

At the end of the day, Meredith was ready to just fall into bed and sleep. The day had been long and busy, but at least everything was ready to go for morning. It didn't seem to matter how many times she went through it, but things were always unraveling at the last minute. Add dealing with Thatcher and Izzie into the mix, and it was almost more than she could bear. It would be good to get away and avoid her father for awhile, at least. He hadn't made any attempt to get in touch after she'd left him, and by morning when he would come to pick Mia up, she planned to remain polite for Mia's sake.

She came out of the bathroom and found Derek already stretched out in bed, holding a sheaf of music in one hand while he scribbled notes with a pencil. He looked up as she joined him, shifting so that she was able to snuggle against him. "Hey, you look beat," he murmured, kissing her temple.

"I'm always afraid I'm forgetting something," she admitted, with a yawn. "What are you looking at?"

"I thought I'd look over some of the songs, see if there was something we could use for you and Izzie as a duet. I think this one would work."

"I'm not sure, our styles are so different, but can we talk about it tomorrow?" She yawned again. "Sorry we couldn't visit with Mark longer…" They had made a brief stop to take Max there, and while she was certain that Mark wasn't the same guy he used to be, it still gave her pause to see the two of them together. "I liked Addison, though, she seems to be good for him."

"He's not going to drag me out for a drink, if you're concerned about that."

"Derek, you have to admit the two of you were thick as thieves back then."

"I know, but we're both reformed now," he assured her, setting the sheet music aside. "Now, close your eyes, I have something for you."

Meredith felt a little flutter of anticipation, guessing what he was talking about, but closing her eyes just the same. He moved away for a moment, and then the mattress dipped again as he returned. Before she could say anything, Derek took her left hand and pressed a soft kiss on her palm, sending a quiver along her spine. She waited, feeling the soft whisper of his breath on her hand as he turned it over and kissed her fingers. Then she felt the smooth weight of a ring sliding into place, as his mouth met hers for a slow kiss.

"All right, you can open your eyes now," he murmured, still holding her hand. "I love you, Meredith."

She met his eyes then, nearly forgetting about the ring as she was caught by the expression on his face. "I love you, Derek…" Then she looked at the ring sparkling in the soft lamplight, and tears stung her eyes briefly. "Oh my god, Derek…it's beautiful!" The heart shaped diamond was in a vintage rose gold setting, with tiny butterflies on either side of the center.

"Are you crying?" he teased gently, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "I told you that the ring just seemed to be you and I needed to buy it."

"It's really me," she agreed, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him closer. The ring from Hunter had always seemed too ostentatious, and she was happy to have set it aside, locked in the safe. "You know me so well, Derek…"

In response, he threaded his fingers through her hair, and cradled her against him as they eased against the sheets. He lowered his lips to hers, and kissed her, long and wet and deep, making love to her mouth, her tongue, and her lips. Meredith made a small sound of satisfaction, kissing him back just as deeply.

His mouth slowly moved away from hers, brushing her chin, down her throat, across her collarbone to her breasts. She sighed happily, anticipating the touch of his lips on her aching nipple, but he paused, his breath warming her skin, making her tremble from wanting him. "Derek, more..." she whispered, her body burning with desire, arching up towards him.

"You're not too tired for this?" he murmured, running his hand along her body, inching the short nightgown upwards. "I can stop…"

"Don't you dare!" she gasped, breathless and wanting more. "I want you now, I want you inside of me…"

"As much as I want you," he said softly, and she could hear the same heated desire in his voice before he kissed her again, taking her away into sweet oblivion.

* * *

In the morning, Derek made it a point to get up before Meredith. He kissed her cheek before easing away from her, leaving her curled against the pillow. It was still early, but he wanted to be able to make breakfast for Mia before they had to leave. He whistled softly to himself as he went to the kitchen, and made a pot of coffee.

It wasn't long before he had the pancakes mixed, and he was ready to warm the griddle when he heard the sound of Mia and Benji coming into the room. She was in her pajamas decorated with teddy bears, yawning, her hair sticking up in several directions, as she went to open the back door for Benji to go outside. "He's good now, he wakes me up!" she said, looking back at Derek.

"That's good, I'm sure your grandfather will appreciate that." He waited until the little dog was back inside before he picked Mia up and sat her down on the stool next to the counter.

Her eyes were wide as she looked at him. "Are you making pancakes?"

"Just for you, Mia," he replied. "I remember you said you liked them. Since we're leaving today, I wanted to be sure and make them for you." He busied himself with pouring some batter, before looking at her again. "Mia, do you remember what we talked about when we took the dogs for a walk?"

"About you and Mom?"

"Yes, you were very good about keeping the secret. I asked her yesterday to marry me, and she said yes! I just wanted to tell you before anyone else."

"Yay! I knew she would say yes!" Mia beamed at him, and he felt his heart melt even more. "Is it still a secret?"

"Well, not really, but maybe you should let her tell your grandfather about it first," Derek hedged, flipping pancakes carefully.

In response, Mia put her finger to her lips solemnly. "I won't tell!"

"What are you two discussing so seriously?" Meredith asked, joining Derek and sliding an arm around his waist.

"Daddy says you're getting married!"

"Daddy?" Meredith looked at Derek, surprise in her expression. "Aww..." She rested her head against his chest and he kissed her there, sensing she was close to tears again.

"Are you okay, Mommy? We're having pancakes!"

"Nobody can be sad with pancakes, sweetie," Meredith agreed, going over to hug Mia. "Especially if Daddy makes them..." She shared a smile with Derek. "Thanks for breakfast."

"One of many to come," he said, passing the plates over. "Too bad we have to leave today, but we can plan on this for when we come home again."

"If you marry Mommy, does that mean I'll have a baby brother or sister?" Mia asked, holding a syrupy piece of pancake up in her fork.

"Oh, well...we'll need to discuss that," Meredith replied, laughing softly. "One step at a time, okay?"


	21. A Love Like That

**To begin, I'm sorry for the delay between chapters this time, things have been busier than usual. Thanks again to all of you for your kind reviews and support on the last chapter. **

**Again, I would like to respond to your reviews:**

**Nai Noo – I did read a rumour about Izzie making a return to GA, since the new show KH was in has been cancelled...but who knows what Ms Shonda will do?**

**Carolin – thanks for sharing, and I'm glad my stories help in some way. Thanks also for the support regarding publishing, it's truly a dream of mine to do so one day. **

**Carl – thanks for the support re a book as well! **

**Patsy – thanks for the enthusiastic review!**

**Mcdreamyforever – Meredith will still be considering her own label, just not for awhile yet.**

**Katfran, Merderlover &amp; Guest – thanks for your reviews too, and for letting me know that you're going back to read the old stories. Vampire Derek was also a petty hot version!**

**Two harts, hockeyplayer &amp; too attached – sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to you personally this week, it's been a little busy, but I do appreciate the comments and support.**

**Also, now a thanks for the song suggestion for MerDer I'm using in this chapter - Kachelle486 suggested a song called 'Johnny &amp; June' by Heidi Newfield, and the lyrics are really good for our couple here! I'm glad you suggested it!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 21  
A Love Like That  
**

_And when there gonna be no tears to cry,_  
_Only memories of our lives,_  
_They'll remember, remember_  
_A love like that._

Two weeks into the tour the shows were going well, despite a few glitches at the start. Meredith was enjoying it more than she could remember; just sharing the experience with Derek again added a new dimension to it. Even though they were still keeping the engagement quiet, it was clear to everyone from the roadies to the band members to the hair and costumer wranglers that they were involved. Of course the gossip that Mia was their child was common knowledge, but Meredith was too happy to hide how she felt. It felt right to wake up with Derek, and spend their free time working on new songs and just enjoying the time together.

"You have this glowy too-satisfied look on your face, Mer," Cristina observed as they waited for the limo to arrive to take them to the airport for the flight to Los Angeles. "Considering the state of my love life, I'm insanely jealous."

"What can I say? We're making up for lost time," Meredith laughed, glancing at Derek who was chatting with some of the other band members. He winked back at her before turning his attention back to the conversation.

"Hmph…the two of you on stage together is a flirty, fierce firestorm! I say, don't do a duet with Izzie, sing with Derek. The arena would melt in the aftermath."

"Are we that bad?"

Cristina rolled her eyes in response. "Mer, please. Everyone in America knows you're in love with each other. Just announce you're engaged already."

"But…how did you know?" Meredith still had the ring on a chain, rather than wear it, even though it killed her. Hunter didn't need any further reason to ruffle his feathers.

"I'm your person, remember? You could've told me, you know."

"Cris, I'm sorry, we just didn't want to share it yet."

"I get it, Mer. I'm happy for you, you deserve it. But I'm not hugging you."

"I wouldn't expect it," Meredith replied solemnly, before laughing again. Then their attention was distracted by Izzie, who was already on a tear at this early hour. She was on her phone, talking angrily and gesturing with her free hand. Her outfit for the flight was a short denim skirt, figure hugging black sweater and scuffed boots, as opposed to Meredith's cool cotton skirt, sleeveless shirt and flat shoes.

"She's really upped her game as far as being irritable, moody and demanding. Derek says she's just doing the only thing she knows how to do, hiding behind all of that. There's not much we can do right now to help her," Meredith commented.

"Yeah, well, she's on the way to a crash, if you ask me." Cristina looked over to where Izzie was standing, still talking on her phone intently. "Have you seen how much she's been drinking? And I swear, she's taking some kind of pills too. Her eyes are scary."

"I wonder how her mother is doing. I've tried to ask her, but she just brushes me off. It's like that meeting in Alex's office didn't happen. But I think you're right, something is going to give soon. She refused to talk about a duet, you know, even after Derek came up with a couple good songs we could use."

"Are you talking about Izzie?" Derek asked, joining them and taking Meredith's hand. She moved closer to him, almost without thinking; they seemed unable to be near each other without touching in some way.

"The one and only," Cristina replied. "I think she's highly medicated."

"That's a polite term for it," Derek agreed. "Maybe you should call Alex and let him know things aren't going well."

"I'll call him after we get to L.A." Meredith offered reluctantly. "I think it's time to hit the road here."

* * *

Once they were in the air, Meredith relaxed in the luxurious confines of the cabin, putting her feet up on Derek's lap. "Is it going to be strange, being in L.A. again?" she asked.

"A little, I guess. I don't miss it, that's for sure."

"No?"

"No. It had its merits, and I worked a lot while I was there, just to keep busy. I think that's where I figured out that exercise was a bonus to keeping the demons at bay. It was always easy to go for a run on the beach, or up in the canyon."

"Did you have a nice place to live? I can't really picture you in some tacky apartment."

Derek laughed softly. "To be honest, I lived in a few places not worth remembering for awhile. I woke up more than one morning in places I didn't recognize. But once I got control of my addiction, I was able to get a small place, nothing fancy, but enough to be comfortable while I was there. But it was never home without you."

"But you had Max…"

"I did, and he was a life saver too."

"Please tell me you didn't live like a hermit…"

"Do we really need to discuss what happened while we were apart?" Derek asked. "Yes, I dated a few women, but it was never serious. It doesn't matter now." His fingers played along her calves, stroking them slowly.

"I know, I'm just a little curious, I suppose. You know all about my life, and who I was with. I'd like to hear more about what you did."

"You have nothing to worry about, Mer…" Derek lifted his eyebrow suggestively. "No one else ever had my heart."

Across from them, Izzie flagged down the flight attendant by holding her glass up. "I could use a refill here! And some of those blue tortilla chips and guacamole that I had brought in!"

"Of course, Ms Stevens."

Meredith shook her head slightly, and Izzie frowned at her. "What? I can have a drink if I want to!"

"I didn't say anything, Izzie. But you know you've had a couple already and…"

"Do NOT lecture me, Meredith. Just leave me alone. Not all of us are able to have their lover along for the tour to keep from being bored."

"Well, I guess that's one of the perks of being me," Meredith said sweetly. "Look, Izzie, if you want to talk about anything, I'd be happy to listen."

"No one wants to hear about my crappy life." Izzie slumped down in her seat, just as her drink and food arrived. "Let me eat in peace."

* * *

Thatcher sat in his office, thoughtfully smoking a cigar. It was a Saturday, so Hunter had picked Mia up already to spend the weekend with her. He had to admit, he enjoyed having her here, and the house seemed quieter than usual without the sound of her footsteps, accompanied by that little dog of hers at her heels. Sometimes she looked so much like Meredith at that age, it felt like he'd gone back in time.

Of course, now Meredith was angry about what she perceived as a betrayal on his part. How could he explain to her that he was still keeping her best interests in mind? That last morning before she left on tour hadn't given him any chance to explain. He had been punctual as always, and found himself having to make polite small talk with Derek while Meredith fussed with Mia's last minute needs. It was only when his driver collected Mia's luggage, and Derek went to help with the dog that he had a chance to speak to her alone.

"Meredith, can I just say one thing?" Thatcher had asked.

"There's nothing you can say that I want to hear. Mia is looking forward to spending time with you, so I'm being civil for her sake. If you need to get in touch with me, you can contact me through Cristina. You have her number." She'd crossed her arms over her chest protectively, forgetting belatedly that Derek's ring was on her hand and Thatcher was quick to notice it.

"Engaged already, then? I hope it turns out the way you want, Meredith," Thatcher had said quietly.

"It will. I'm quite sure that Derek won't steal money from me, or cheat on his marriage vows. I'm not changing my mind about what you did. I hope you and Hunter will be very happy together."

By that time, Derek had joined them, slipping his arm around her waist. "Mia is waiting to say good-bye. I already got my hugs."

Without another word, Meredith had walked away.

He hated that they weren't speaking, after everything that had happened, and he wondered just how to mend the rift. Of course, throwing Hunter to the wolves would be the best solution, it wouldn't help his own agenda. He had big plans for some property that was going to be developed, and he needed Hunter's backing for the purchase.

He would need to give it more thought, but he felt the beginning of another headache. With the house quiet, he decided to put his feet up and rest for awhile before his golf game in the afternoon. Something would come to him eventually, it always did.

* * *

By the time the show was about to start in Los Angeles, Meredith was getting more concerned about Izzie's condition. A quick call to Alex had convinced him to make an emergency trip to see her, and he would be arriving after the show was done. He wasn't aware of any problems with Lorraine, but he promised to check on that as well before leaving Nashville. Izzie had been a mess during rehearsal, giggling and stumbling on stage until Meredith and Cristina had taken her in hand. Together they managed to get her back to the hotel, and into a cold shower before tucking her into bed.

Now it was almost time for her to go on stage for her first number, and Izzie swore she was fine to go on. "Are you sure?" Meredith asked, looking at Izzie's still bloodshot eyes.

"I'm just fine! Stop fussing about me!"

Derek stepped up beside Meredith, guitar in hand, ready to join the band on stage. "Everything okay?"

"It's fine, just fine!" Izzie threw up her hands and walked away.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Meredith said. It reminded her all too sharply of his reactions when he'd been drinking. She looked at him, and he leaned in to kiss her softly.

"I know, it sounds familiar, doesn't it? Let's hope she can pull it together like she usually does," he said, backing away slowly. "Show time…"

Meredith felt the flush of happiness again, as Derek walked on stage, taking his place at the front of the band. He looked relaxed and at ease, as he checked on a few last minute details before things got under way. Then the house lights dimmed, and the stage lights came up, amid cheers and applause.

This was Izzie's cue to come out, and she managed to take her place on stage, waving at the crowd. She was wearing a short sequined dress with her hair loose, and spiky stiletto heels that Meredith thought were a bad choice. Her opening number was one of the fan favorites, 'Trouble Is'.

_Trouble is one more fireball  
When I'm already lit,  
and it's last call  
Trouble is nothing good  
Ever happens after 2:00 A.M._

_Stumble outta that red door  
Hop into a cab  
Feeling a little bit crazy  
Feeling like I wanna be bad  
Ain't going home till I check  
a few more sins off of my list  
If you're looking for me  
I'm gonna see, I'm gonna be  
Where trouble is_

Meredith breathed a sigh of relief that Izzie seemed to have gotten under control, belting out the lyrics with the usual confidence. Maybe she would be able to get through the show after all. For once, Meredith was glad that Alex was going to be here later, if nothing else he seemed to be able to deal with her.

The crowd was already on their feet, clapping and cheering as the song ended. There would be a couple more songs, before she would join Izzie on stage, so she could relax for awhile.

She listened to the next song, tapping her foot, and checking her phone for texts from Mia. The band played the intro to Izzie's next song, a slower one, and after a few bars, Meredith realized that Izzie wasn't singing. She looked up, seeing Izzie on stage, but frozen in place, as if she'd forgotten the words. Derek led the band through the intro again, concern on his face, as he walked towards Izzie. Before he could reach her, she backed away, shaking her head.

"Crap, she's never done this before," Meredith muttered, her eyes glued to the stage.

Cristina came up beside her. "Should we go help her?"

The crowd was silent, wondering what was going on as Izzie continued to move slowly out of the spotlight. She clutched at the edge of the piano, her knees buckling, and Meredith dashed out to help her as Cristina shouted for the lights to be dimmed. Derek signaled for the band to keep playing, as he ran to help Meredith.

"Someone call an ambulance!" he shouted, as Izzie curled into a fetal position, crying softly. "Izzie, what did you take?"

She shook her head, and Meredith felt helpless, unable to do anything except hold Izzie's hand before the roadies came to help move Izzie off stage. The staff at the arena were quick to get things under control, bringing in the EMTs that were already on site in case of emergency.

"You need to get out there and sing!" Cristina hissed. "Keep the show going!"

Meredith turned to Derek, and he nodded. "She's in good hands right now, we need to keep going."

"All right, sure…"

"How about we do that duet we've been practicing, after you do one of your hits?' he suggested, taking a moment to wipe sweat away from his face. "Something different to change things up?"

"Sure, sound good, if you think we're ready for it." Meredith hurriedly ran through the lyrics in her head.

"Ready if you are."

"Let's do this," Meredith motioned for her band to quickly get in place, before taking a deep breath and walking on stage. The music started for one of her favorite songs, and when the lights came back up, she started to sing, amid the wild applause that greeted her. When she finished, she paused until there was quiet again. "Thanks for the warm welcome, and I'm happy to be here in Los Angeles! Izzie will be taking a little break tonight, she's not feeling well so I'm the main attraction tonight I guess! Now, I'd like to bring someone up here for duet, I'm sure y'all know him by now…our lead guitarist and a fabulous singer in his own right, Derek Shepherd!"

Derek joined her, guitar in hand, giving her that smile that always made her knees go weak and her heart race. "We're going to sing a new song for you tonight, hope you like it," he said, "it's called 'Johnny &amp; June', about that great couple who shared a long life together. They shared a great love, something that is kinda rare these days."

_I wanna love like Johnny and June_  
_Rings of fire burnin' with you_  
_I wanna walk the line,_  
_Walk the line,_  
_'Till the end of time_  
_I wanna love,_  
_Love ya that much_  
_Cash it all in,_  
_Give it all up,_  
_And when you're gone_  
_I wanna go, too_  
_Like Johnny and June_

_I wanna hold you baby right or wrong_  
_Build a world around a country song_  
_Pray a sweet prayer,_  
_Follow you there,_  
_Down in history_

_I wanna love like Johnny and June_  
_Rings of fire burnin' with you_  
_I wanna walk the line,_  
_Walk the line,_  
_'Till the end of time_  
_I wanna love,_  
_Love ya that much,_  
_Cash it all in,_  
_Give it all up,_  
_And when you're gone,_  
_I wanna go, too_  
_Like Johnny and June_  
_Like Johnny and June_

_More than life itself_  
_No-one else_  
_This endless promise_  
_They don't make love like that anymore_  
_Is that too much to be askin' for?_

_And when there gonna be no tears to cry,_  
_Only memories of our lives,_  
_They'll remember, remember_  
_A love like that._

When they finished, they found themselves staring into each other's eyes, their bodies nearly touching. Without stopping to think, Derek leaned in to kiss her, a soft sweet kiss that left no doubt about their relationship. Her response was immediate and passionate, with a craving for more. When he pulled away, the crowd burst into applause, and he could hear calls for more.

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"Not sorry..." she replied, holding his hand tightly.


	22. I've Got You & You've Got Me

**Thank you all again for the reviews on the last chapter!**

**Patsy, I appreciate your support about the writing, I will do my best to keep it going. As for a sequel to Detective Derek, I'm not sure, though I did have a few thoughts at the time I finished that one. I've also had a request for a sequel to Blood &amp; Wine, so we'll see how it goes when this one is done. **

**Judy, thanks for the review here, as well as the one you left for Kiss of Darkness! Always nice to see a review for a completed fic pop up, so many people just read and never review.**

**One small note - I will be on vacation shortly, and the next updates may be a little sporadic, depending on what time allows for writing. **

**On to this chapter, and the fallout from the concert!**

* * *

**Chapter 22  
I've Got You &amp; You've Got Me  
**

_Like a flowers got a field_  
_ and the clouds got the rain;_  
_ Like a night has got the stars_  
_ and a fires got a flame;_  
_ Like a moon has got the tide_  
_ the rivers got the sea;_  
_ Oh, I've got you and you've got me_

_*Song lyrics from the show Nashville_

By the next morning, the gossip about the on-stage kiss between Meredith and Derek had already spread like wildfire. In fact, the whole concert was quite the topic, with Izzie's collapse, added to their public display of affection. Meredith shook her head at the headlines, and glanced at Derek, laying beside her in bed. It was still early, and they didn't need to be anywhere since they had another concert in L.A. that night.

Izzie had been taken to Cedars Sinai for observation, and Alex had arrived shortly after that. So far he hadn't been in contact with them, and Meredith intended to check in with him later. For the moment, they had no plans for the day, and she was happy for a free day without travel.

"We really managed to fan the flames," she commented, skimming through a few websites. "Oh, I like this one..._'Hot Country Kiss!', _or how about this one..._'Sizzling Onstage Chemistry!'_

"Are you regretting it?" he asked, sliding his hand along her leg as he propped himself on his other arm.

"I said I wasn't sorry, remember?" She set the iPad aside, and turned to face him in the soft half-light of morning that filtered through the gauzy curtains. She lifted her left hand, where the ring now sparkled. "I'm glad it's out there, Derek. Hunter can go to hell, for all I care."

"Mmm, if you're sure."

"Do I need to show you how sure I am again?" Leaning over him, she trailed a fingertip over his chest, following it with kisses.

"Hmmm…we might need to go over that again," he murmured, easing her backwards and placing a loving kiss on her navel, and then licking a warm path up to her nipples. Sucking one and then the other, pulling gently as she arched to meet his mouth. He lifted his head, admiring the rosy wetness, trailing his tongue around the sensitive areolas, until she whimpered. Blowing lightly against the wet skin, making her quiver and moan in her throat.

"Oh..oh..god, Derek..I think I could come just from that.." she sighed, as he sucked a little harder.

"What's stopping you?" he laughed, returning his mouth to her again. His body hovered over hers, and he feathered more kisses and licks around her breasts, before taking the nipples again. Harder, so that she felt the tug straight down her body, tingling in her core.

"Nothing…" she sighed, as the orgasm began to build, and she let herself fall into the wave. It shot through her body like wildfire, as he continued his lazy exploration with his tongue. Her moans and whimpers crescendoed, along with the soaring relief of the climax that took her breath away.

She slumped down, breathing hard, looking up into his concerned face. "Are you okay, Mer?"

"Fine…it was just so intense…" she murmured, closing her eyes, as tremors still went through her. "I want you now, Derek…I still need you inside of me…"

"Are you sure? We could take our time…we don't have to be anywhere just yet," he teased her, even as he moved between her legs. The feel of him already hard against her was enough to tell her that he wasn't about to make her wait. She played her fingers down his back, shifting to accommodate him.

"Now, please…" she whispered, encouraging him, wanting him so much she was shaking again. Then her eyes widened as he thrust into her, and his eyes, dark and full of sensuality, met hers, as he gave her the fullness of his cock. Giving her the pleasure she craved, satisfying the need in both of their bodies. Another wave of heat passed between them, as he thrust slow and deep and perfectly inside of her. He braced his arms on either side of her, moving faster, until all she could think of was his thrusts, and the building want, closer and closer to the edge.

He leaned down to kiss her, parting her lips, as she whimpered and begged for him to go faster. Finally coming in a rush, pulsing around him, feeling him coming into her fast and deep.

Sated and dazed, she closed her eyes, as he wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her tightly. Both of them still throbbing, gasping, weak with relief. Meredith took a big gulping breath. "I love waking up with you…" she sighed happily.

"Just using me for sex?" he teased her, kissing her temple.

"Absolutely." Her hands played along his back, and she felt reluctant to move.

"I knew it. It's just my body you want."

"Your body, and your hair, don't forget the hair," she murmured, winding her fingers in the thick curls. "I love your hair." She kissed him, leisurely, softly. "And your mouth, and your eyes…"

"…don't stop there…"

"…and your cute ass.."

"…and…?"

She put her fingertips against his mouth. "I just love you, Derek, for you…"

* * *

After they pried themselves out of their suite, they met up with Cristina in the lobby. The plan was to swing by the hospital and check on Izzie, and then Meredith and Cristina wanted to do some shopping on Rodeo Drive. She knew it was a cliché sort of thing to do, but she did enjoy a good shopping spree every now and then.

"And what you doing while we shop?" she asked Derek, as they waited for the rental car to be brought around by the valet.

"I'm not sure, might just hang out by the pool."

Meredith looked at him over her sunglasses. "You never hang out…"

"Well, I do need to recover some energy for tonight…somehow I didn't get a lot of sleep last night," he teased her, making Cristina roll her eyes.

"And that was my fault?"

"Entirely," Derek replied, placing his hand at the small of her back as the valet pulled up in front of them.

"Are you sure you two can stand to be apart for a few hours?" Cristina smirked.

"It'll be difficult!" Meredith laughed.

Derek drove through the traffic confidently, still accustomed to the pace of the city and they made it to the hospital in good time. They found Alex waiting for them in the lobby, looking a little rumpled and unshaven.

"How is she?" Meredith asked. "Is she awake?"

"She's resting. Not happy, but resting." He rubbed his temple tiredly. "How long has she been acting up?"

"Pretty much from the time we left Nashville," Cristina told him. "I know she's been drinking a lot…"

"We tried to talk to her, but she just wasn't ready to listen," Derek added. "I know how it is, trust me. I've been in that position many times. She has to admit she needs help."

"Well, she may need to have help whether she wants it or not. The doctor who treated her in emergency says that there's signs of cocaine addiction, in addition to the booze."

"What? Oh my god." Meredith shook her head sadly. "I should have tried harder to talk to her…"

"It's not your fault, Mer," Derek assured her. "I knew the signs too…"

"Is her mother having a relapse? She seemed so angry when she was on the phone the other day."

"She's struggling too, according to the sober coach; she's had a few setbacks. Some asshole reporter got through to her and asked a bunch of questions about Izzie's past…of course Lorraine was thrilled at the attention and spilled a lot of stuff Izzie wanted kept private. That's probably what set her off."

"That would do it," Derek murmured. "Can we see her?"

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea right now. She's not even talking to me." Alex shoved his hands in his pockets. "I think she'll need to stay here for awhile, get some rest. I won't let any of this get out in the media…all anyone needs to know is that she's exhausted from the tour."

"Are you cancelling the rest of the dates?" Cristina was immediately on the alert.

"No, judging from the response to the two lovebirds last night, I think we can make some adjustments and carry on," Alex said, cutting a look at Derek. "Are you ready to take on an added role?"

"What? I didn't expect anything out of this," Derek protested. "Last night we just…"

"The crowd loved you, just like I suspected they would. You should have listened to me before, Meredith," Alex said dryly.

"Oh, of course, what was I thinking?" she said, her tone just as dry.

"So it's settled then, and Derek you'll need to sign a new contract for this. I'll have my secretary send it to the hotel by this evening." Alex checked his cell phone again. "I'll be sure to send out that press release too, anything you want to review Ms Yang?"

"Sounds like you have it all under control, Karev."

"That's what I do best."

"Tell Izzie we're thinking of her, if she talks to you, that is," Meredith added.

* * *

Hunter threw the paper across his desk, after glaring at the photo of Meredith and Derek kissing on stage. Of course he was well aware they were together, and that Mia chattered incessantly about Derek teaching her guitar, but to see it splashed across the gossip pages was still tough to take.

April walked into the office, picking up the paper on her way. "Guess you saw the news..." she observed. "Why are you mad? This should be good for you."

"Yeah, just great..." Hunter splashed another shot of whiskey in his glass. "She knows about the damn money, she told her father she doesn't want to speak to him again, and her damn lawyer is out to get hang me by my balls. What exactly is good about this?"

"You have me here to make you feel better," she murmured, moving to massage his shoulders.

"Of course, that's a good thing," he agreed. "Are you feeling better today? No morning sickness?"

"Oh, I'm just fine..." April came around in front of him, putting her hand on the slightly rounded swell of her belly. "Don't worry about a thing, sweetheart."

"Don't worry? I might end up in jail! What are you going to do then?"

"You won't go to jail. Thatcher will make sure of that, he needs you too much."

"Really? You think so? After I messed up Meredith's investment accounts..." He shook his head. "I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You're going to be fine," she said softly. "With the baby and all, it's a new life..."

"If you say so..."

April crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Hunter, don't be such an ass! I didn't get involved with someone that felt uncertain about what he wanted. Don't make me regret that decision!" She backed away, leaving him alone, brooding over his glass. Somehow things weren't turning out the way he'd imagined a short time ago.

* * *

Meredith perused some of the dresses on display in the Versace shop, debating whether or not she really needed the slinky column of silk. It was gorgeous, and she knew it would look perfect.

"Just try it on," Cristina urged. "The CMA awards are coming up, you need a new gown for that."

"You're right..." Meredith looked at the sales clerk hovering nearby, and nodded. The girl jumped eagerly to put the gown in the back dressing room. "And this one too..." She indicated another green silk gown that appealed to her.

"Of course, Ms Grey, and shoes as well?"

"Let me take a look, see what I can find," Meredith smiled. She had to admit, she loved shoes and the ability to indulge that love was a perk of her career.

The store was busy, with several young women chattering as they looked through the racks of clothing. She picked up a couple different shoes that caught her interest, and headed towards the dressing rooms. "I'll try these too," she said to the clerk. "Cristina, come let me know what you think in a minute."

"Be right there, Mer!"

Meredith hummed softly to herself, as she went to try on the dresses. She could hear voices in the other rooms, and she ignored them for the moment. But then she heard a familiar name mentioned and she paused. "God yes, I can't wait for the concert tonight! I want to get backstage and see Derek again...I can't believe he left without a word. Does this dress make me look hot?"

"Zoe...didn't you see what happened last night?"

"Oh that...I'm way hotter than she is! He'll see me and forget all about her!" Laughter erupted in the other dressing room, and Meredith frowned at her reflection. It certainly sounded like they were discussing Derek and herself. Who the hell was Zoe?

There was a quick tap on the door. "Mer? You ready to come out?"

"Be right there, Cris," she muttered, adjusting the dress. Despite her sudden irritation, she had to admit the gown fit like a glove, and was just as perfect as she'd thought. She opened the door and met Cristina's approving nod.

"It's just right, Mer. You couldn't ask for a better fit if Versace had made it for you personally!"

As Meredith checked out the three way mirror reflection the two girls came out of the other room. They were both in their early twenties, one of them blonde and slim, the other one a striking looking brunette with skin the color of latte. As soon as they spotted her, they stopped short, and met her eyes in the mirror. For a moment, she thought they were going to say something but they moved quickly to exit the dressing rooms.

"Do you know them?" she asked the clerk, who had come to help her arrange the long swirls of material around her.

"They come in and try things on, but they never buy," she said dismissively. "Just some sort of back up singers, I think. Now...you look amazing in this, Ms Grey, and the shoes are perfect with it!"

"Of course, it does fit well..." Meredith nodded. "I'll take it, and the shoes..."

"Do you need anything else with it? Purse, or accessories?"

"I'll see, thank you."

"Mer, you need to check out these earrings..." Cristina smirked, once the clerk left them alone again. "And forget about the two bimbos..."

"What?"

"I heard them too, and if Derek had a thing with one of them, it's not worth your time to worry about. There's no way he will look at anyone else now."

"You're right, I suppose...but they're both so young..."

"And you're the mother of his daughter, and no other woman catches his interest when you're in the room. But of course...if you want to make sure he only has eyes for you, this dress here is sexy as hell..." Cristina held up a skimpy black leather dress that laced up the front.

"I don't think it's my style..." Meredith took it from Cristina, running her fingers over the supple leather appreciatively.

"Not on stage, but for later?"

"Hmm...maybe..."

"Trust me, I know hot..."

* * *

"Derek, who's Zoe?"

Derek looked up from the guitar in his hand, as Meredith tossed the question out at him. She was setting down a few bags from the shopping trip, and he frowned at the question that came out of nowhere. "What are you talking about?"

"I was in the dressing room at Versace, and a couple of girls were talking about you. One of them was named Zoe, and she hopes she blows your mind at the concert tonight," Meredith explained, kicking off her shoes and settling in the chair. "But I think she means to blow more than your mind..."

"Oh...that Zoe..."

"Did you date her?"

"No, she was one of the backup singers for Miranda Lambert, and I was doing a little guitar work at the time. Zoe wanted to go out, but I wasn't interested in her. Don't you think she looked a little young for me?" he asked, coming to sit opposite her.

"I suppose, but she's gorgeous. I wouldn't blame you if you had dated her."

"Are you jealous, Meredith?" Derek grinned at her, reaching out to take her hand and pull her to her feet beside him. "You're a beautiful, talented, strong, feisty woman, you always had my heart. I told you that before." He cupped her face in his hands, and pressed a kiss on her lips, before looking at her again. "Not to mention, you and I have a beautiful child together, and I would never do anything now to hurt you. If Zoe does show up tonight, she'll see how much I love you. You have nothing to worry about, honey. I'm not like Hunter."

She relaxed against him, and lifted her face to him. "You're right, I'm being silly. It just threw me off, overhearing it like that."

"Well, just keep in mind that you're the only one who gets to have me in her bed..." he murmured, pressing more kisses along her cheek, and down her throat to where her pulse fluttered wildly. "And how can you be jealous, when you know how my body responds to you, and how I know exactly where to touch you in return?" His mouth claimed hers again, fierce and demanding, and she wrapped her arms around him. Finally pausing, he murmured in her ear again. "You know I'm the man in your bed, in your arms, and everyone else knows that too, the way I look at you. You know I'm yours."

Meredith saw the intensity in his gaze, "And I'm all yours," she breathed, pulling him down to claim his mouth again. His hands were gliding everywhere, strong and sure, leaving no part of her untouched, and they managed to stumble towards the bed.

"Do we have enough time?" she asked, breathlessly, even as she peeled off her shirt and he undid his jeans.

"We'll make time..." he replied, pulling her down on the bed in a flurry of laughter and passion.


	23. Nobody Said It Was Going to be Easy

**Thanks for the reviews to the last chapter; kind of quiet on here again, perhaps happy MerDer isn't as exciting as I thought!**

**Anyway, here is a little chapter to keep you going, more developments happening to bring changes.**

* * *

**Chapter 23  
Nobody Said It Was Going to be Easy  
**

Izzie looked up tiredly at Alex as he entered the hospital room where she was still recovering. Her eyes narrowed, thinking it felt more like being held prisoner. Her whole body ached and she just wanted to run away and hide. The problem was she didn't have the energy to move, even if she wanted to, and the staff was worse than Nurse Ratchet.

"Ah, you're awake," he observed, setting a bouquet of flowers on the table by the window. It joined several others, and she wondered again who was sending all of them. Surely her fans weren't rushing to send well wishes, not after her embarrassing melt down on stage. She closed her eyes again, ignoring him. Maybe he would just give up and leave.

Instead, he settled in the chair and she heard him rustle a few papers. She cracked open one eye, and found him looking at her.

"It won't work, Izzie, I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

"Hmph…just go, I'm tired," she muttered.

"We need to deal with a few realities here. You need some help to deal with the addictions. There's a good place here in L.A., very discreet, and they can take you right away." Alex paused, and got to his feet to stand beside the bed, taking her hand. "Izzie, you aren't alone in this. Whatever demons you have to deal with, they can help you. You don't want to throw away your career. What happened on stage the other night?"

For a second, Izzie just closed her eyes again, feeling the sting of tears. She couldn't take him being all helpful and concerned; nobody ever treated her that way. Everyone always wanted something from her.

"C'mon, Iz, you can tell me."

"I don't know what happened, Alex," she sighed finally. "I just lost it…the crowd, the lights…all of a sudden it was too much."

"You'd been drinking…"

Izzie nodded. "I always handled it before, it just seemed like I needed a little extra, to get myself jazzed up…"

"So you took the cocaine."

"It helped at first, but then it all blurred together and I couldn't manage it. Damnit…why am I so stupid?"

Alex leaned in to slid his arm around her. "You aren't stupid, the stress gets to a lot of performers. I should have realized you might succumb to the same thing. Just take the help that you need, and get better…"

"The tour…?"

"Meredith and Derek are going to handle it. Don't worry."

Izzie rested her head against his chest. Somehow she didn't believe that it was all going to be all right but for the moment she didn't care.

* * *

A couple of weeks passed by in a blur of cities and concert venues, with the crowds enthusiastically welcoming the pairing of Meredith and Derek. They were the new darling couple of the country music scene, and their duets were becoming the stuff of legend. Alex had the foresight to record several of their songs, and quickly released them on iTunes. All of them were racing up the charts, bringing in more revenue than expected.

It was a heady rush, but Meredith was cautious about getting too carried away with it all. Derek proved to be a steadying presence, just taking it all one day at a time, even though the crowds clamoring for autographs and pictures were growing at every concert.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" she asked, at the end of another sellout show, with multiple calls for just one more song. They were in the back of the limo, heading to the hotel, and it seemed almost too good to be true.

Derek grinned at her, and pulled her close to him in the privacy of the luxury ride. "It's just what you've worked hard for, honey," he said. He was still warm from the exertion of the concert, his eyes still bright with the happiness of a good performance. She inhaled the unique scent of him, the sweat and the aftershave mingling to make her senses aroused as always.

"I didn't imagine it would be quite like this. Are you okay with all of this?"

"So long as we're doing this together, you know I'm good." He pulled her onto his lap, and wrapped his arms around her. "I know it was hard for me to take when we first started out, but now I can deal with it. I know what we do on stage is a show, and we flirt and we have the eye sex going on…but we leave together, and nothing else matters."

"Not even the backup singers that do their best to distract you?" she teased him, running her fingers through his hair. "Like Zoe in Los Angeles?"

"Zoe was overly optimistic," he said firmly, thinking about how she'd managed to get backstage at that concert, and waiting for him in the dressing room. She'd been rather surprised when Derek and Meredith had entered together, arms around each other. Whatever the girl had been anticipating, it wasn't both of them, and Meredith had taken the time to inform her that Derek was not now, or ever would be, available for a booty call.

"Well, that's true…" Meredith agreed, leaning in to kiss him.

After the limo left them at the side entrance to the hotel, and they were ensconced in their suite, Meredith made sure to get in touch with Mia. So far their daughter had taken their increased celebrity in stride, thankfully. You never knew how resilient kids could be sometimes, she mused.

"Hey baby, how are you?" she asked, once Mia was on the screen.

"Good! Did your show go okay tonight?" Mia was settled in her bed at Thatcher's, with Benji at her side. It was late, but Mia had been waiting for the call.

"It was great! Derek's right here, you can talk to him too…"

"Hi Daddy, did you play good? I've been practicing lots!"

"Hi Mia, I think I played good, but your Mom sang even better. I'm looking forward to hearing you play when we get back home."

"When are you here?"

"Soon, I think…just a couple more shows and we're taking a break."

"Good, I miss you…"

"We miss you too, sweetie," Meredith murmured. "Is Grampa there?"

"He's not feeling good, he went to bed early."

Meredith exchanged a worried look with Derek. "Is it the flu?"

Mia shrugged. "Maybe, he's been kinda tired. Mrs. Winters came in to make dinner and babysit. She's sleeping across the hall from me, just in case."

"Oh good." Meredith wasn't in a hurry to speak with Thatcher, but she was thankful that he had arranged for the babysitter to stay over. Still, it wasn't like him to be ill; she'd never known him to be sick a day in his life. "Well, it's late, and you need to get your sleep. School tomorrow!"

"Yeah…" Mia sighed dramatically. "I have a test in spelling tomorrow…"

"You'll do great," Derek assured her. "You can text me when you're home tomorrow, let us know how you did, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy…" Mia yawned, her eyelids drooping. "Night, love you…"

"We love you too, Mia," Meredith said softly, before ending the call. She set the phone aside, and turned back to Derek. "I can't wait to get home. I always feel like I'm missing so much when we're on the road."

"She is growing up so fast," he agreed. "What d'you think is wrong with Thatcher?"

"I don't know, he's not usually sick." Meredith crawled into bed beside him, pulling the thick duvet over them. "But I'm sure he'll be fine, he's too damn irritable to be sick for long."

"Mmm…I don't want to talk about him right now," he said, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her under him. "This is much more pleasurable…" His mouth landed on her collarbone, feathering a kiss there and over the hollow of her throat. "No time for irritable fathers…"

"You're right…" She sighed happily, surrendering to his touch, and the thrill of arousal, as always. He moved over her, pushing aside the thin material of her nightgown, finding her nipple with his tongue and fire shot through her. She writhed beneath him, wanting him, needing him. "Soon," he whispered, sensing her impatience, drawing slow circles on her skin with his tongue.

"I've wanted this all evening..."

"Too much flirting, hmmm?" he teased.

Before she could say anything else, he kissed her hard, fitting himself to her, pulling her leg up around his waist. His fingers brushed her, sliding inside to tease her and she bit his lip in frustration. "I want you, baby, please…."she begged him, soothing his lip with her tongue, her nails tracing along his back.

"Since you're begging…" he relented, letting the tip of his cock push against her, then exquisitely slowly moving into her. She was wet and lusciously hot around him, and he groaned at the sensation, driving all the way, deeper and faster.

Heat flashed through Meredith's body as she matched the rhythm of his thrusts, and a tremor started deep inside of her. He could feel it, she could see it in his eyes, the dark smoky passion that excited her further. Her head went back and he pumped into her, a low growl of want in his chest as he felt her tighten around him. She felt him pushing against her harder, close to the edge of his climax. "God, Mer, now…I can't…I need…" he finally said, his voice hoarse from passion.

She didn't stop, and he thrust up against her, feeling the orgasm wrenching through him, molten heat flooding his body as his release took him away. "Now, baby, now," he muttered, intent on making her come, needing his own release, jerking and pulsing inside of her, his cock hot and hard. Then there was only the pleasure, taking them away, making them one, body and soul.

"You are the only woman for me, you know that," Derek finally whispered, holding her close. "Never, ever, think any differently, no matter what happens, or what others might try to do to break us apart. I love you and I will always be here."

Meredith blinked away the sudden tears that filled her eyes at his words, overcome with emotion. "I know," she replied, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I would never doubt that. I love you, Derek."

* * *

Hunter settled in the chair across from Thatcher, adjusted the crease on his pants and waited for the other man to say something. He was getting frustrated with the situation, he needed to know what was happening with the money situation. Meredith's lawyer was getting more and more tenacious about it, demanding that the funds be paid back. His attention in the mayor's chair was undermined by the anxiety he felt, and the fact that Meredith was blatantly exposing her involvement with Shepherd wasn't helping either.

"So, Hunter…" Thatcher finally said, looking up from the papers on his desk. "I suppose you want to know my decision."

"That would be helpful, yes…"

"Much as it pains me to take sides, as it were, I do need your support." Thatcher grimaced, as he reached for a sleek breifcase under his desk. "If I give you this money to cover the amount you borrowed from Meredith's investment accounts, you have to give me your word that you will support my plan to develop that parcel of land."

"It might be difficult, city council seems to think that it's an environmentally protected area. You know how that works."

Thatcher shrugged. "Well, then, if that's the case…I suppose you can find the funds elsewhere…or be willing to spend some time in county jail…" His voice trailed off, as he moved the case away from Hunter. "My granddaughter will be devastated, of course…she still cares for you."

"Wait!" Hunter leaned forward, a sheen of perspiration on his face. "I'll do it, whatever it takes."

"Well then…" Thatcher pushed the envelope across the desk again. "We have a deal. Just let me get your signature to seal this…"

"My word isn't good enough?" Hunter asked bitterly.

"I need to cover all bases." Thatcher held out his Mont Blanc fountain pen in anticipation. Hunter was about to take it, when Thatcher dropped it onto the desk, his face twisted in sudden pain. He clutched his chest, and his skin looked ashen. For a moment, Hunter was frozen, unable to react. As Thatcher fell towards the desk, Hunter slowly inched the unsigned affidavit out of Thatcher's grasp and slid it into his pocket.

"Help…me…" Thatcher's voice was faint.

Hunter stood and backed away from the desk, the case held firmly in his hand, and for a moment he debated what to do. As he reached the doorway, he pulled out his phone briefly. That wouldn't work, it would be recorded as his number. Instead, he quickly retraced his steps and used the phone on Thatcher's desk to call for help. He left an anonymous report, and then wiped the receiver, feeling somewhat paranoid as he did so, and then quietly slipped out of the room. It had to be done this way, he assured himself, it was the only way.

* * *

Derek stepped away from the stage, as Meredith began to sing one of her solos, her voice pure and sweet without the accompaniment of the band. He took a moment to wipe away the sweat from his forehead, and looked at Cristina who hurried up beside him, her expression serious. "What's up?" he asked.

"It's bad. Thatcher had a heart attack. I just got a call from the hospital. My number was listed as the contact for Meredith."

"What? God, when did that happen? Where's Mia?" Derek demanded.

"Hold on, I don't have all the details. Mer needs to call and talk to the doctor, they won't tell me anything else."

Derek raked a hand through his hair. "Let me try to call Hunter, maybe he's got Mia." He couldn't imagine his daughter alone, scared about what was happening with Thatcher. "Let her finish, I'll tell her."

"All right, if you say so." Cristina looked uncertain, but Derek was already stalking away, phone in hand, trying to contact Hunter.


	24. Wild Angels

**Thnaks again to all of you that have hung in there with this story. I appreciate the support.  
**

**Patsy, I thank you for you comments and I'm glad you have been there for each chapter. Lucia, I apprecciate your comment, and please don't feel bad about your English! Everyone else, thanks for the reviews. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 24  
Wild Angels  
**  
_There are some nights_  
_ I watch you while you dream_  
_ I swear I hear the sound of beating wings_

_ Must've been_  
_ Wild Angels, Wild Angels_  
_ Watching over you and me_  
_ Wild Angels, Wild Wild Angels_  
_ Baby what else could it be_  
_ Wild Angels _

_*Song lyrics from Wild Angels by Martina McBride_

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss your bride…"

At these words, one pair of warm indigo eyes met the equally warm grey green ones, before Derek smiled at Meredith. He pulled her close and met her lips in a slow, sensual kiss that seemed almost too intimate in front of the gathered group of guests.

After a few moments, they broke apart reluctantly and turned around. Applause broke out, as Mia scampered up to join them.

"This is the best wedding we could have imagined," Derek noted, taking her arm to guide Meredith and Mia down the aisle.

"The best surprise wedding…" she grinned back at him. Most of the guests hadn't been aware they were even attending a wedding, the invitation had been for Mia's birthday. But arriving at the Belle Meade residence, they found themselves guided into the spacious property, decorated with white roses, lilies and oleanders mingled with candles in mason jars. Only the close family and friends were in on the secret, the best way to keep it from becoming a media event. The guest list was a mix of country music celebrities and old friends. Mark and Addison had stood up for them, and Cristina had been the one to arrange all of the details. No presents were requested, but if anyone wanted to make a charitable donation, they were welcome to do so.

Meredith was wearing a simple vintage lace dress, her hair loose, with white daisies woven into the strands. Derek was equally low key, in dark slacks, crisp white shirt and black vest, his usually unruly hair clipped shorter.

It was two months after Thatcher's heart attack, and several things had happened in that time period. They ended up cancelling the last couple of shows that had been scheduled before the break, as well as the interview on Good Morning America. By the time they arrived back in Nashville, Mia was waiting for them at the airport with Hunter. Meredith thought he seemed a little nervous, but she was too concerned about Thatcher to think about it much.

They rushed to the hospital, and found that Thatcher was doing better than expected. As Meredith surmised, he was too stubborn to be ill for long. He was still weak and in need of care at home, but he was awake and alert. And being alert, he was able to give an account of what happened with Hunter before the heart attack. He was willing to give a statement to the police and to Owen Hunt about Hunter's shady dealings, and that he had been taken the cash without sticking around to know if Thatcher was alive or not. Subsequently, the divorce was finalized without any further argument from Hunter.

The city council of course, was completely in shock, and stripped Hunter of the mayoral position. In the interim, they resorted to appointing Richard Webber to a temporary position, until another election could be held. It was an unprecedented move, but as the closest runner up in the race, they felt it was the best choice.

April had left Nashville as soon as Hunter was arrested, and Meredith heard gossip that she had a miscarriage. But other versions of the story said she had been faking the pregnancy all along, in order to trap Hunter into leaving Meredith. Once he was revealed as a crook, she had no further use for him.

Meanwhile, Izzie had finished her six week session in rehab, and hoped to make a return to performing soon. Alex was still standing by her, convinced that she had a career in Nashville. Time would tell about that.

* * *

So after all of the developments, they felt it was time to tie the knot, without any fanfare. Mia had been ecstatic, and had been happy to keep the secret. Thatcher had recovered enough to escort Meredith down the aisle, for a much happier marriage ceremony than the first time. His brush with death had left him changed, and he was doing his best to be a better father. Meredith wasn't sure how long that would last, but for the moment she was indulging his wish.

"And here we are…" Derek murmured, pausing for a moment before the well wishers descended on them.

"Right where we should have been ten years ago," Meredith whispered.

"We had someone watching out for us, don't you think?" he asked, sliding his arm around her waist, and kissing her cheek.

"Angels, you mean?"

"Wild angels, honey…" he replied. "Now we have the rest of our lives to make up for the past."

"I agree, and I love you." She lifted her face to him and kissed him, unmindful of the onlookers. She didn't care, this was the man she loved, and who had been a steady rock for her during Thatcher's illness.

"I love you, Meredith," he said, kissing her back.

"All right, enough of the PDA you two…" Mark interrupted them with a laugh. "There are children present, remember?"

"They do that all the time…" Mia said, rolling her eyes dramatically.

Addison stepped closer, cradling their month old son. He snuggled in against her happily, and Mark put a protective arm around her shoulders. "Are you all right? Not too tired?"

"No, I wouldn't have missed this for the world. Rubbing elbows with all of the country greats…did you see Reba and Kelly Clarkson over there?"

"Yes, and they're going to perform together later," Meredith smiled. "And I can't thank the two of you enough for all your help with this. How is little Elijah doing?"

"Unimpressed with the star quotient," Mark said dryly.

"He's so cute!" Mia spoke up, trying to peek at the baby again. "Can I hold him?"

"After the pictures are done," Derek said. "I think we're needed right now." They had arranged for a photographer to take informal shots, and they planned to release them on social media rather than do a formal announcement.

"It's time for some cake," Cristina announced. "Are you guys ready?"

"Let's go. Mia can help," Meredith said, holding onto her daughter's hand. "Right, sweetie?"

"Oh yes!"

And so it was that all their pictures of sharing wedding cake were complete with Mia in-between them, giggling in delight as they got frosting and cake smudged on their noses and lips as everyone laughed and clapped.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please!" Mark called out, standing next to Derek and Meredith at the table where the mostly demolished wedding cake now resided. He tapped on the champagne flute in his hand. "Quiet!"

Bit by bit the noise level went down, until quiet descended over the tent. "Thank you." He turned to look at the happy couple, standing next to him, their arms around each other, and her head on his shoulder.

"I am happy to be part of your marriage celebration today, along with all of your friends and family that could be here. Having been a friend of yours from way back, I was honored to be your best man at the wedding ceremony, and I have to say that you two are the happiest when you are together. And you make it seem possible to believe in happily ever after." He raised the champagne flute, as everyone else followed suit. "To Derek and Meredith Shepherd – may you have the best life can offer, and always share it with each other. Congratulations!"

More cheers and applause broke out; along with calls for "Kiss the bride!" Derek turned to Meredith with a seductive smile, and pulled her close, and kissing her gently. She reached up to put her arms around his neck, and kissed him back, feeing the arc of desire heat up again in her, her breath catching in her throat. He breathed her in, and teased her, rubbing his lips over the corner of her mouth very gently, and whispered her name. With a little sigh, her lips parted, and he slid his tongue inside, into warm, wet heat, into the sensual seduction of her mouth. The bouquet slipped from her grasp, falling to the floor, as they got lost in each other.

After a few moment, he whispered in her ear. "I love kissing you, and everything else about you, and don't ever be embarrassed about that. I adore you."

"I love you so much," she whispered back, intent on looking into his eyes, not caring anymore about anyone else in the room. Their world was reduced to each other, and nothing else mattered.

After a few moments, they broke apart, and faced the crowd. "Thank you all again for joining us today, and letting us indulge in our displays of affection," she said warmly, and this brought a few laughs. "I'm going to throw the bouquet here in a moment, so get ready!"

* * *

At the end of the evening, after all of the guests departed and Mia had been settled in bed, Derek waited for Meredith in the master bedroom. He was still getting accustomed to the big house, and the fact he was living here. He heard the sound of the dogs behind him, and he turned around to see Max and Benji at the doorway, tails wagging. "Well, you two are certainly settled into the new situation, aren't you?"

"They certainly are," Meredith said, joining him. "Go to bed, boys. Mia's waiting for you…"

Immediately the two of them turned to head for Mia's room. "Alone at last…" she laughed.

"Nice to know our wedding night doesn't involve dogs on the bed," he agreed, taking her into his arms. They moved backwards, until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed, and they tumbled backwards together. The mattress dipped as they bounced together, and he pulled her into a deep, erotic kiss. She let her fingers play across his stiff cock, and finding a wet trail on the mat of hair below his belly button. Wrapping her hand around him, she gently squeezed. Her hand barely closed around him, her fingernails grazed him lightly.

Touching her lips to him, she traced her tongue along the hard ridge of his erection, and he groaned. So velvet soft, but so hard – she flicked her tongue along the pulsing veins, until he arched up against her mouth. "Don't stop now, Mer." His eyes were half-closed, his mouth tense with desire, as she licked him, swirling her tongue along his length. She kissed the tip, tasting the him there, and he groaned softly again.

"God, Meredith, I'm not doing this alone," he reminded her, his voice rough and low, as he tried to control the heat he felt building up in him. "Come here, baby…" She glanced up at him, seeing the heat in his eyes, and the love she felt for him surged through her. Moving over him, so that she faced his cock, she knelt above his mouth. He pulled her down so that her aching pussy made contact with his wet, hot tongue. His tongue delved into her, caressing her everywhere, and she rocked against his face, lost in the pleasure that flooded her. Twisting and grinding, she bucked over him, as his tongue continued to slide across her clit and deep into her.

She bent forward to take him into her mouth again, sucking him hard, driving him wild. Her fingers cradled his balls, stroking him lightly, tracing the delicate skin with her tongue, sending more flashes of heat through his entire body.

As she continued to suck at him, his tongue drove deeper into her, filling her, at the same time, pushing his fingers into her. She let him go for a moment, moaning. "Oh..oh…yes…YES!" She bounced wildly over him, her orgasm starting to wash through her. His hips bucked upwards again, and she took him in again as his body tensed with the release that was building. He pulsed into her, as she pulled at his cock, the pleasure almost painfully intense. The bed bounced and shook, as they moved together, until finally spent and shaking, they rolled over to face each other.

"Coming together is much more fun," Meredith sighed, cradled in his arms. Derek kissed her temple softly, brushing the hair from her eyes. He could taste her on his lips, smell the scent of their lovemaking in the air.

Derek pulled her into his embrace, as she leaned down to kiss him again. The earthy musk of their combined juices mingled as they kissed, and he felt the need building for her again. "It's true, you know…"

"…what?"

"I can never get enough of you…of this…"

"…I know…"

Soft kisses punctuated their words.

"…it's addicting…"

"…very…."

"…..is that a bad thing?"

"No…never…"

Meredith felt him growing hard against her again, and she moved over him carefully. He closed his eyes, his cock sensitive and swollen. "Ah, Meredith, watch it…" he cautioned her.

"Sorry, honey…I just want you…"

"…I want you too…just…."

"…just?"

"Slow…"

"….like this…"

She rubbed herself against the tip of his cock, and he clenched, the sweet pain almost too much to bear. "Yes…" Then with exquisite softness, she took him inside of her, and he opened his eyes to see her smiling at him.

"Will you survive?" she teased him, not moving, letting her heat envelop him fully.

"Hell yes…or die happy…"

Meredith giggled, her peal of laughter shaking her body, and he groaned softly at the sensation. She shifted slightly, sending shocks along his inflamed cock, and he went mindless from the sensation. He throbbed inside of her, aroused beyond belief.

"Okay?"

"…don't move yet…"

Her pelvic muscles twitched reflexively, and he gulped.

"You feel so big and hot, Derek….god…I need…"

"…now…Meredith, now…"

"…now?"

He thrust up suddenly, taking her by surprise, and she squealed in response. Drawing up and then plunging down onto him, rolling her hips over him, as he drove into her.

"That's it…yes…"

Their hands met, palm to palm, as she moved lower across his body, mouths devouring each again, his tongue moving rhythmically along with hers, matching the movement of his cock into her. Meredith lifted her head, and met his eyes, as she moved up and down. The flush on her body intensified, and her body was damp with a sheen of sweat. Their slow, deliberate lovemaking felt more erotic to him than ever before.

"C'mon, Meredith… come for me now…" His hips flexed, and drove deeper, languidly slow, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through her.

"…close…oh…oooh…..just about…"

"…take me with you….now…."

With a final shudder, Derek let himself go, holding her tightly, his cock exploding into her, wave after wave pulsing from him. Meredith cried out again and again, his name on her lips, as she climaxed with him, feeling him coming hotly into her.

"Was this the one?" she asked breathlessly.

"The one?" he asked, his grin sensual, and satisfied, as he pulled her close to him. Her breasts crushed against his chest, and he rolled them onto their sides, still joined, still pulsing with aftershocks.

"The baby making one."

"If not, we'll just have to keep working on it…"

"….and try try again…."

"..it's a tough job…." He kissed her softly, reluctant to move.

"…but we're going to make the best of it, right?" She nestled against him. "We can't disappoint Mia in her request for a baby brother or sister…"

"Never," he vowed, pulling her close again. "We need to make her happy."

"So long as we're all happy, that's all that matters," she agreed, meeting his lips, welcoming the passion that flared between them as always.

**THE END**

**I apologize if this takes some of you by surprise, but as usual, I feel the story has been told, they have their happy ever after...and that`s always a good place to end it. Thanks again for reading and perhaps there will be a new story, or a sequel to one of the existing ones. Stay tuned, dear readers.**


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